Gaijin Smash

Dude, you’re an English major/teacher? Your spelling/grammar is attrocious!

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on April 25, 2007

Thank you Grammar Police.
This is my own personal website. I write most of the content in WordPad, or straight in HTML (I don’t like MS Word’s auto-formatting). So I don’t run a spell or grammar checker. I do this for fun in my free time. So I’m not sweating it too much. You shouldn’t either.
And yes, I have intentionally left some errors/mistakes as is, just to further piss off those of you who get pissed off over grammar on the internet.
Besides, live here long enough, and your English starts to deteriorate. It’s happening to all of us, we’re stumbling over pronunciation and forgetting simple words, and just making crazy blunders. As one of my friends said once, “And that’s a factual fact.” You know, as opposed to the fictional ones. He was being completely serious when he said that.

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She wants you dude. You should go for it!

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on April 18, 2007

When she said that I wasn’t in a position to do anything. I’ve decided if she says anything like that again, I’ll offer to help, but I’m not going to intentionally pursue it. After all, I didn’t fly across an ocean just to bang co-workers. Could have done that at home.

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Is that Americanized-English teacher hot?

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on April 11, 2007

She’s not bad. And no, I will not post pictures. And if there are already pictures up, I will not point out who she is.

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I really want to learn Japanese, but my high school/university doesn’t offer it. What can I do?

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on February 28, 2007

Go online to one of the college textbooks sites and order yourself a Japanese textbook there. From there, it just depends on how dedicated you are at it. Japanese is not an easy language to learn, at it WILL frustrate the hell out of you sometimes. But it can be done, if you’re willing to work at it.
I don’t have any specific book recommendations, as I wasn’t particularly fond of any of my textbooks. I will say though that for kanji, the Kodansha Kanji Learners is probably one of, if not the best resources you could buy.
As for media, Japanese TV shows like variety (if you can stomach it) and drama are good. But not anime so much. The Japanese used in anime is not natural (intentionally so) and all you’ll learn are terribly unuseful phrases anyway.
And of course, stay far away from Japanese porn. Forget the language, it will darken your soul. You have been warned.

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JET sounds great! But, I have a few questions…

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on February 21, 2007

Please, please, please, please please NO MORE JET QUESTIONS. I give up, I’m raising the white flag, stick a fork in me.
If you want to do JET and can’t find the information you’re looking for on their website, consult your university’s career center or Japanese department. If you are not in university…you are still a long way from doing this, and shouldn’t worry about it too much now.
If you actually get to applying, most if not all of your questions will be answered along the way. If you get in, they will ORIENTATE YOU TO DEATH. Seriously. They will give you answers to all the general questions you may have, and even put you in contact face-to-face with former JET’s. They will tell you everything you never wanted to know about Japan, except for the really useful stuff, like the threat of kancho or that your kids may one day ask you “Do you play masturbate?” But you’re hearing this now so it’s all good.
And then if/when you actually get there, they will ORIENTATE YOU SOME MORE. It never ends. They’ll be shipping you off to seminars until your human spirit is absolutely crushed, and the words “group work” or “brainstorming activity” will be enough to send you into uncontrollable fits of crying and swearing.
But I’m not the JET spokesboy. Never was, and I don’t want to be. JET questions clog up my mailbox. No More!

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What kind of classes should I take/degree do I need to do JET?

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on February 14, 2007

You don’t need anything specific. You don’t need a day of Japanese language/culture classes, English teaching methodology, whatever. All you need is a bachelors degree – doesn’t matter what field or from what university.
Additionally, JET is not specifically offered through schools – it is just a program that exists for university graduates.

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Ok, I really want to do this! How?

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on February 7, 2007

I did a program called JET. All you need is a bachelor’s degree (doesn’t matter what field), fluency in English, a pulse, and to not be a total fuck-up. Even then, the last two are debatable. That’s it. You don’t need any teaching experience (I had NONE prior to coming) or any Japanese language abilities.
JET actually discourages the use of Japanese in some ways (after all, they’re not bringing you to Japan to speak Japanese with Japanese people), but I personally think it’s extremely useful, inside of the classroom and especially outside. Most of the JET’s who come don’t actually have that much Japanese ability (most of my friends couldn’t speak Japanese when they got here, some of them still can’t). If you really want to learn, well, there’s no better way than total immersion. There’ll be plenty of opportunities to do so, and it would be good for your students to see you learning their language as they learn yours.
If you are really interested in JET, you can inquire about it at your university’s Career Center, Japanese Department, or go to the JET Program Website.
There are other programs besides JET, which place people in conversation schools like Nova and ECC. I don’t know too much about them, so I can’t be of much help there. From everything I’ve heard though, they’re not quite as good as JET. I believe the requirements are the same though – you just need a bachelor’s degree and to be fluent in English.

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I wanted to teach in Japan, but not anymore!

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on January 30, 2007

As I said before, it’s a good experience. You learn a lot about yourself, Japan, and your own country (just by being away from it and seeing how others perceive it – not just Japanese, but all the people from different countries I’ve met while here). I’m definitely glad I came. Whether you want to come or not is up to you, but don’t let a few possible fingers up the ass deter you. Lighten up, and see the humor in it. And now that you know, you can do as I did, climbing Mt. Fuji and fine-tuning my Kancho Senseā„¢ to a precise science. And then maybe you too can make a website about kids trying to grab your dick.

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You gotta tell me. What’s The Octopus?!

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on January 23, 2007

I told you I’m never telling. Don’t even bother asking.

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Is your situation special?

Posted in FAQ by gaijinsmashnet on January 16, 2007

Not really. EVERYONE here deals with Kancho. And almost everyone gets felt up at some point (except for me, ha! Go go Gadget Dick Dodging!). But that’s not to say if you become a teacher in Japan you’ll have a little girl screaming “Breasts!” at you too. Some of my friends wonder if their students are actually really alive, they’re so quiet. It just varies.
And some of my friends tell me stories that shock even me. It all just depends I guess.

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