Gaijin Smash

Slurp Slurp

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on August 12, 2009

One of the tough things about keeping up a site that catalogues the weird little quirks of Japan, is that the longer you live here, the more the weird becomes normal. Living here 5 going on 6 years, I don’t even bat an eye anymore at grandmothers with rainbow-colored hair, old men in dresses, festivals that worship the penis, et al. It’s just…Japan. But on the other hand, the closer I get to Japan being normal, the further I get from my home of America being normal. So now Japanese people can point out things about my homeland that they don’t get, and I can understand where they’re coming from somewhat. I’m not sure if America will ever reach the levels of eyebrow-raising hijinks that Japan does…but not for the lack of trying.


This is not the main thing I want to get at in this post (although it will become relevant later), but many Japanese people wonder why Americans are unable to slurp noodles. I, like most Americans I imagine, was raised on the belief that slurping or otherwise making loud sounds when you eat is fairly rude. When eating ramen, or udon/soba if it actually had a taste, I gradually bring the noodless into my mouth, soundlessly, and then chew on them. This FASCINATES Japanese people, who slurp on noodles like there is no tomorrow. Apparently, you are unable to “fully enjoy the taste of the noodle” unless you slurp it. I’ve asked for some sort of scientific backing of this claim, but have yet to get any. Japanese people have actually requested that I slurp noodles, and I just have the complete inability to do so, which also blows their mind. Its almost like I’ve said “I’m 30 years old and never experienced orgasm”, as if slurping in your noodles instead of chewing them brings your taste buds one step closer to orgasmic joy or something. You may think I’m exaggerating, but go ask the nearest Japanese person about their feelings on slurping noodles and see what happens. You may want to keep a raincoat or plastic tarp handy, just in case.
Which brings me to this; last week, a random Japanese guy asked me a question I honestly couldn’t answer: why do American women in porn make that sucking-in air noise?
You know what I’m talking about. Go fire up an American porn and listen for it. “Oh yeah baby….SUUUUUUU…oh that feels good…SUUUUUU…yeah, right there…SUUUUUUU!”
I don’t know if this sound has always been present in porn and I just never noticed it, or if its a new invention. I’m not sure who decided that women making vacuum-cleaner noises would be sexy in porn…but there are a lot of un-sexy things in porn, it feels kind of pointless to focus on just one.
Anyway, a Japanese guy asked me this, and I simply had no answer for him. He then asked if it was limited to porn; do American women make this sound in real life as well? Unfortunately, I couldn’t answer this question eithers. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been with a non-Asian woman, and quite frankly I’ve forgotten what its like (*insert some sort of teardrop smiley emoticon here*). This isn’t a result of some crazed Yellow Fever binge – I tried to find foreign women, but couldn’t, or they were just too difficult to deal with.
Anyway, yeah, the sucking-in air noise. I don’t get it. This is something my wife had also noticed when we watched some American porns together. Having been asked about it, I mentioned it casually to her upon coming home. She then hit me with this, and I don’t think I’ve actually stopped laughing since –
“Yeah, that sucking-in air noise! I have a new theory about that. I have a feeling that, during sex, that noise is natural, and this is why Americans can’t slurp ramen or other noodles. If women make the slurping noise, it reminds them too much of what they sound like during sex, so they become embarrased. If guys make the slurping noise, then he’ll sound like a woman having sex, so he can’t do it either. Yeah, I think I figured it out…”
I regained my composure long enough to ask her if the sucking in noise was “natural”, she said – “Well, you know, every race has their own unique noise. For us Japanese women, its crying like babies. For American women, it must be that sucking-in noise. I don’t know about other women though. Hey! Maybe you can go out there and do a survey or something!”
At this point, I asked – “Does this mean I have permission to have sex with girls from multiple nationalities?”
Her reponse – “No! Just find them, and ask them what noises they make during sex.”
Yeah, I’m sure that will be an excellent conversation piece. “Hi! Where are you from? How long have you been in Japan? During sex, do you find your screams of passion to resemble the sound of a 14.4k modem, or the sound you make when eating fried chicken off the bone?”
So my fellow Americans, the next time you go to a ramen/noodle place, do the wonderful sounds of noodle slurping remind you of hot, sweaty sex? If it didn’t before, will it now?
Its these little things that help us to understand our cultures better.

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130 Responses

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  1. Gino said, on August 12, 2009 at 12:53 am

    so you actually watch porn with your wife still on a regular basis? Nice, signs of a healthy relationship. But you still haven’t addressed the baby questions yet. Your fans want to know.

  2. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 12:59 am

    lol, I love this blog. -muzras

  3. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 12:59 am

    lol, I love this blog. -muzras

  4. Tae said, on August 12, 2009 at 1:09 am

    Given the staggering amount of weird fetishes out there, the 14.4k modem one doesn’t sound too off the wall. All the kids who grew up sneaking internet porn on dial-up can relate. Now if there was a way to make the modem-screamer look pixelated, it’d be a home run.

  5. Heather said, on August 12, 2009 at 1:11 am

    I do not make any ‘sucking air’ noise during sex. I asked my husband, he confirms, I don’t make any sound that could be described thus.

  6. Will said, on August 12, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I’m the first at something…..finally…Oh wait=[
    *goes to corner, hugs knees, and cries*
    Well,nice to see your back. I never thought, I would think about sex while eating noodles.
    Thanks a lot.

  7. Mel said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:06 am


    i think this video from youtube (although from korea) shows you why the slurping is like ya know.. head

  8. Phil said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:12 am

    Is it just me, or is the crying like babies thing a complete turnoff?

  9. Misty said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:41 am

    Huh, I always figured the whole slurping noodles thing was just an anime thing, I didn’t know people actually did it. Yeah I don’t think I can ever slurp them. Due to my dad, uh, being very strict, I cannot make any noises when eating that are not “Please pass the salt. Thank you.”
    On that note, I now know to make sure to never ever ever let him near an authentic Japanese resteraunt where authentic Japanese people are eating noodles. I’m pretty sure he’d murder everyone in a 30 mile radius.

  10. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Mmh, maybe it’s a turn-on for guys with an inferiority complex. Well, you get the picture

  11. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Mmh, maybe it’s a turn-on for guys with an inferiority complex. Well, you get the picture

  12. not a doktor said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:37 am

    I dunno, it seems like to me the ameru-can chicks are making more child-birth labor noises. (from big black cock)
    I hate German porn partially for the sounds they make while they try to be sexy, “ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-ja” then a deep guttural orgasm sound that seems like it should come from a new born down syndrome calf.

  13. Peter said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:50 am

    I love how Japanese compares acting to real life.
    But to play along: ask them if Japanese screams like babies when pounded in (say) their stomach by (say) a fist.
    Generally, that’s what the actresses are mimicking. Pain from a big, juicy, ravaging cock.
    Half pain, half pleasure, full excitement.
    Also, tell your friend to stop base his comparisions off of porn.

  14. Rob said, on August 12, 2009 at 4:16 am

    My theory for the suuuu.
    When you take a massive/impressive/stimulating member your reflex is to gasp or cry out in pleasure, but you don’t want to actually gasp or cry out otherwise you might get dizzy from over oxygenation of your blood or seem weird, so you regulate the gasp by closing your mouth, possible biting your lip. A side effect of doing that is the sound of air rusing past your lips into your lungs.

  15. Naba said, on August 12, 2009 at 4:23 am

    Can’t really speak for the Country, but New Zealand’s more of a grunt/groan place insofar as my experiences take me. No especially wierd noises. Sorry.
    Glad to see you’re still back on track, man. I gotta agree with Phil, though, that crying shit sounds seriously nasty.

  16. ansi said, on August 12, 2009 at 7:12 am

    Hahaha, the sucking in noise in porn and real life is sometimes the sound of trying to withhold orgasm, or the sound of a sudden heightened sexual response, or just basically any reluctant-ish response to a sudden sexual response. As far as I know [American] guys make it, too.
    To me, it sounds nothing like slurping, though! Chinese people are anti-slurping as well, but they make that sucking in noise all the time, sex or no sex. Really, a sudden sharp intake of breath… Like when something extremely awful happens and you don’t want to believe it but you KNOW it’s true. (Read: when it comes to sex it is more like, “Oh damn, this cannot be real, no it can’t, please let it be real, but dude, I just CAN’T believe it!”)
    But feeling closer to orgasm isn’t awful (with woman parts, though, it can be kind of awful/painful when your body feels it before your mind does), and only babies naturally cry like babies. Every culture to its own consquences.

  17. RT said, on August 12, 2009 at 7:37 am

    Slurping noodles also brings in air, helping to cool them before you scorch your mouth.
    As a control, you should watch a foreign porn star in a US porn movie and see if they make the sound. Do women make the sound in European porn?

  18. mechwarrior said, on August 12, 2009 at 7:58 am

    The only time Ive heard that slurping sound in porn is when they do oral. Most likely, they exaggerate the sound to make sure guys know whats happening. Otherwise, it may well be possible to completely overlook the action?

  19. Navi said, on August 12, 2009 at 8:56 am

    It’s true; slurping noodles does make them taste better! I was raised in the no-slurp American culture like yourself, Az, so maybe it’s just that I find the practice satisfyingly rebellious…
    I have never made a noodle-slurping, air-sucking-in sound in the bedroom, though. :/

  20. Jonas said, on August 12, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Hey Az, you’re back at your best!!
    I fully understand how you can grow too accustomed to the weirdness to notice anymore. That apparently you became a true salaryman also made me worry a bit about the future of your blog, but obviously you can still pull off a great post – keep them coming!

  21. Zantetsu said, on August 12, 2009 at 10:23 am

    In contrast, I never got why Japanese AV actresses HAVE to cry in porn. Either they’re told to do it or they’re crying because of the disappointment but it’s such a big turn off I actually try to find porn where they do NOT cry in it.

  22. Scalenex said, on August 12, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Since Japanese reality TV is filled with Japanese people crying because food is so delicious, maybe they are on to something with slurping maximizing flavor….

  23. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 10:56 am

    I’ve heard that actresses in Japanese AV lose their voices sometimes…
    I think the screaming has more to do with the intensity of the orgasms some Japanese women get, which from my experience seems to be much more intense than women back home. With that in mind, I find it arousing.
    Oh and I always thought the slurping served a practical purpose of cooling down the noodles just enough to eat them quickly. Next time you eat ramen, watch how the loudest people finish the quickest.

  24. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 10:56 am

    I’ve heard that actresses in Japanese AV lose their voices sometimes…
    I think the screaming has more to do with the intensity of the orgasms some Japanese women get, which from my experience seems to be much more intense than women back home. With that in mind, I find it arousing.
    Oh and I always thought the slurping served a practical purpose of cooling down the noodles just enough to eat them quickly. Next time you eat ramen, watch how the loudest people finish the quickest.

  25. Drysk said, on August 12, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I agree, the baby crying sounds are quite the turn-off, which is one reason I’ve stayed away from Japanese porn. But on that note, what’s the update on censorship over there? Are they being more lenient with it? And how do you watch porn over there? Do they filter your internet or can you watch American porn? Your fans, OK maybe just me, are dying to know! 🙂

  26. wah said, on August 12, 2009 at 11:48 am

    I’ve never watched American porn 😡

  27. Joe said, on August 12, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Breathing is generally a natural part of the enjoying yourself during sex process, though the “sucking air in” noise… I don’t know. It could just be a porn thing, as none of my non-asian ex girlfriends did that.
    However, my filipina ex, vietnamese-american (born in LA, fully americanized, never left) ex, and my current chinese girlfriend all do/did the little girl squeak (no crying though, thank Jesus)… though with the right position, those squeaks are replaced by moans, and later caucasian-esque screams.
    I don’t know why…just offering more data points.

  28. Chibi said, on August 12, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Well as for the slurping of noodles, I can’t slurp. My mom took care of that while I was growing up.
    As for the weird sucking noises during sex. I know I don’t make such weird noises. According to my fiance I’m a moaner and compares my breathing to the type of heavy breathing you hear in scary movies when the antagonist is on the phone with the protagonist…..gee thanks honey for that wonderful analogy.

  29. D said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    hmmm, I suppose field trials will be in order then, at least for those of us free-range… maybe explain it to the wife like ken-do… you are supposed to put your spirit into it, and that means loud.
    For the record, my Nana would never be amused at any sound made at table, and woe to them that offended her sensibilities. But, when in Japan, try and do as they do. I don’t slurp ramen because I have a beard, which which is hard enough to keep dry with ramen noodles as it is.
    Hmmm, I suppose Japanese women wouldn’t like the beard anyway, so I have no chance there, ne?

  30. Ajani said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    similar to what doktor said, It’s a reaction to pain/pleasure. It’s like the joke from family guy when Peter hits his knee.

  31. Eclipse said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Dude, here is where your random Japanese guy is wrong. The “suuuu” noise is strictly from porn in origin. I’m no man-whore…well not anymore at least, but I have been with women from all over the world. Aside from Japanese women who actually do sound like squeek toys during sex, most, if not all of the other women I’ve been with have their own sounds. However, I do believe that each culture/nationality has their own porn sounds as well. For example, Hispanic cultures have the “ay” sex sound, Germans have the “ja” sound Scandinavian cultures have the “aahhh” sound etc. Personally the American “suuuu” sound doesn’t do much for me. Its actually more of a turn off. I don’t mean to sound like a porn phrophet or anything, this is just my opinion.

  32. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    I once did a girl who sounded like a seagull, but I don’t think it was based on nationality (more of an individual touch I guess).
    I think the reason for the vacuum noise in porn is that they’re trying to emphasize that they’re breathing heavily…like “ooh ahh that’s so good you’re giving me an asthma attack”

  33. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    I once did a girl who sounded like a seagull, but I don’t think it was based on nationality (more of an individual touch I guess).
    I think the reason for the vacuum noise in porn is that they’re trying to emphasize that they’re breathing heavily…like “ooh ahh that’s so good you’re giving me an asthma attack”

  34. joop said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Your wife is hilarious. You should ask her if she wants to write an update.

  35. joop said, on August 12, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Your wife is hilarious. You should ask her if she wants to write an update.

  36. Crabbadon said, on August 12, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    I dunno, I make a kind of “ahuuuaauurrr, aaaa” noise when I’m gettin’ it (male). I can’t be more specific without using the IPA.
    This comment post should become the ultimate collection point for “noises people make during sex”. We can make a graph, guys!

  37. Azharul said, on August 12, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    will your vid was great, and i seem to be able to manage to slurp… but the hot soup burns my lips and its hard to continue…

  38. tearsthewingsoffangels said, on August 12, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    PINRL. Porn is not real life. It’s an important point to keep in mind. Porn is acting that’s intended to get guys off. I suppose somewhere someone got the idea that women who act as if they can barely contain themselves during sex, in a mixture of pain and pleasure, is a turn-on for guys. I have no idea how that’s true in general terms. Speaking from personal experience, it’s mostly annoying. It sounds fake, in my opinion.
    Slurping noodles. What’s good manners in one culture may well be bad manners in another. In Germany there’s a saying, “Warum rülpset und pfurzet ihr nicht, hat es euch nicht geschmacket?” Which translates to “why aren’t you burping and farting, didn’t it taste well?” Not to say that Germans fart at the table, but that the idea that someone might fart isn’t necessarily a sign of ill manners. Ditto slurping noodles. When in Rome… when in Japan, slurp the noodles. In America, not so much.

  39. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    isn’t the slurping just to cool down the noodles and broth? i mean keeping the whole bowl as hot as possible keeps the meal fresh over the course of the meal, and then u cool down the bite you’re taking by sucking air past it, instead of blowing on it like in the west. but slurping splashes soup all over your face(and beard) so the west including not slurping into table manners as a form of hygiene, right? ok there’s the hypothesis, someone go do some science.
    and about noises in porn, chicken/egg question. does the majority of society effect how porn sounds or does porn skew the way people behave during normal sex?

  40. Anonymous said, on August 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    isn’t the slurping just to cool down the noodles and broth? i mean keeping the whole bowl as hot as possible keeps the meal fresh over the course of the meal, and then u cool down the bite you’re taking by sucking air past it, instead of blowing on it like in the west. but slurping splashes soup all over your face(and beard) so the west including not slurping into table manners as a form of hygiene, right? ok there’s the hypothesis, someone go do some science.
    and about noises in porn, chicken/egg question. does the majority of society effect how porn sounds or does porn skew the way people behave during normal sex?

  41. Ignats82 said, on August 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    You know Japanese guys make the slurping sound in porn. Whenever they eat or suck anything it sounds like a Shop Vac sucking up chunky jello.

  42. Mariko said, on August 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Your wife is AWESOME. It’s so great to see that there are some Japanese people who actually have personality…

  43. Rebecca said, on August 12, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    I agree with the Japanese. Noodles are 1000 times better when you slurp them. I always have since my dad was never strict about table manners, and can’t even comprehend being unable to.

  44. IDontSuckAir said, on August 12, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    I’m a bonafide American woman (and white, to boot!) and I don’t make that noise. That noise is just for porn “actresses.” Love Japanese noodles though. And no, I don’t slurp ’em.

  45. Prodigal Priest said, on August 13, 2009 at 1:02 am

    “Its these little things that help us to understand our cultures better.”
    OR drive us that much closer to insanity, eh? ^_-

  46. Samantha said, on August 13, 2009 at 2:09 am

    I don’t know about the other ladies here, but I’ve never made that noise. And, when I DO actually watch porn, I have come to the conclusion that that noise sounds hella fake. It doesn’t sound natural– in the case of both Western porn and Japanese porn. I can’t believe that a man would think that those sounds are in any way real.
    Also, I can suck the noodle the way it’s meant to be done, and I get the weirdest pseudo compliments on my “Japaneseness” for it. Strange. So, I guess that’s two social assumptions broken right there.

  47. Andrew said, on August 13, 2009 at 2:16 am

    And when you do finally come around to slurping your noodles, not only can you not go back (welcome home) but the Japanese don’t seem to have the common, rewarding response of “Oh sh*t! It’s a gaijin doing normal Japanese things!”

  48. Weilong said, on August 13, 2009 at 6:12 am

    I can’t remember an American woman ever making that sucking noise during sex. Fortunately, none of the Japanese women I’ve slept with have ever made that crying noise, either. When they do that in porn it just ruins it for me – it sounds like they are really not enjoying it.
    I had one Chinese woman who kept yelling “tian na” over and over.

  49. Eddie said, on August 13, 2009 at 6:29 am

    Wow, I never noticed the SUUU before… now it’s all I can pay attention to. Now watching American porn will never be the same…

  50. oro_the_dog said, on August 13, 2009 at 8:25 am

    hmmm… and may i ask what western porn title you might suggest, so we can study this phenomenon? Just for research purposes and all that, of course ;).

  51. Buso said, on August 13, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Must be habit picked up by porn workers that gets passed on unintentionally.
    Many noises are indeed fake, exaggerated by porn actor/actresses, some directors have a strong dislike for them too.
    There is a very interesting ask/tell thread on somethingawful with a good director who works in porn answering various questions about the industry, the noises thing was a common question.
    http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2858945&pagenumber=35#lastpost

  52. Celt said, on August 13, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Slurping Noodles is like those guys who taste wine, or coffee for a living . . . apparently it “aerates” the liquid so that the aroma part of the flavour is enhanced, or summat like that, but how that applies to porn have no idea . . .

  53. Eloy said, on August 13, 2009 at 9:38 am

    This is pretty funny. I don’t think I’ll eat noodles at work for a while.

  54. code monkey said, on August 13, 2009 at 10:56 am

    crying like babies! it all makes sense now…

  55. Ljufa said, on August 13, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Ha ha ha… I don’t even watch porn and I still know exactly what you’re talking about! From the few I looked at as a curious teenager/links from guys online. Porn in general makes me assume a rather confused-child expression (oh god the surgery scars… oh god they’re fucking and she’s not even wet… what are those spots on her butt? why is her skin so wrinkly?) and that SUUUUU thing reminds me of all of that at once.
    I pasted some of this to a friend, and he said “I think they breath with their teeth closed because they’re trying to act like oh god it’s so good I’m gritting my teeth”. Sounds pretty accurate, if you want to be boring. It just looks stupid and fake to me.

  56. kcMasterpiece said, on August 13, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    I never got the distaste for making slurping noises:
    1) It allows you to get more noodles, and there won’t be any small half noodles when you bite them off.
    2) When you slurp my opinion is the broth or what most of the flavor of the noodle gets kind of dispersed around your mouth in droplets and it tastes better or you can taste it more. Kind of the same reason people are supposed to sort of slurp while tasting wine.
    And yeah I agree that the vacuum noises women make in porno is supposed to be similar to when they are in pain.
    I think the only time it is used out of the bedroom is when you like stub your toe or burn your hand or something similar that kind of lasts a while. Peter did it in Family Guy when he hits his knee on the mailbox:

  57. TheGZeus said, on August 13, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    The whole Japanese propensity (at least in porn) to say various forms of “no” and cry whether into it or not, is horrific.
    I plan on living in Japan for a while(and I’ll be there for a month or two next spring) and between that and all the cake-makup(I call it ‘the noh-mask look’) I think I’ll probably totally switch to guys while there…

  58. wc said, on August 13, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    I think its coz their getting hammered in the vag so hard it actually hurts but they cant scream in agony so they make that sound.

  59. Kosetsu said, on August 14, 2009 at 2:00 am

    I always sort of wrote it off as gasping for air in a weird way. Maybe they’re doing it to keep from laughing at how pathetically bad porno-men are at sex despite their above-average penis sizes?
    I know I’ve had at least one girlfriend who made the air-sucking noise when I hit a sensitive spot, so… It does happen during sex, just not with moaners and screamers like you find in pr0n.

  60. Another Rob said, on August 14, 2009 at 4:41 am

    When I first read this post, I (of course) laughed about it and was like “haha yeah”/etc/etc when I read the part about American porn actresses doing the “suuuuu” thing…
    Which is about when I was overtaken by the sudden, horrible realization that there was no basis for my feeling on the matter… that I could not recall a single American porn scene, or even one without crying.

  61. Anonymous said, on August 14, 2009 at 7:21 am

    You’re not alone.
    I asked around some of my non-Japanese friends…. and not one of us can slurp noodles. We’ve come to the conclusion that the muscles of Japanese and non-Japanese people condition themselves differently. It is just impossible if you weren’t brought up in an Asian country vOv
    ~~~

  62. Anonymous said, on August 14, 2009 at 7:21 am

    You’re not alone.
    I asked around some of my non-Japanese friends…. and not one of us can slurp noodles. We’ve come to the conclusion that the muscles of Japanese and non-Japanese people condition themselves differently. It is just impossible if you weren’t brought up in an Asian country vOv
    ~~~

  63. raawaa said, on August 14, 2009 at 11:48 am

    I think this ramen commercial supports your theory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWbA-YN4bK8

  64. Nils said, on August 14, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    I’ve never had any problems with slurping noodles, since I was born in the 1970’s, and my parents believed in “Antiautoritäre Erziehung” (“anti-authoritarian upbringing” in German), so I could do what I wanted with my food, as long as it ended up in my stomach…

  65. Bob said, on August 14, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    You watch porn with your wife?! Dude! *high fives*

  66. Tim said, on August 14, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Az, did you just refer to American women as “foreign” women?

  67. Kit said, on August 14, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Um… I can honestly say I will never slurp eating anything. Not only do I dislike that sound, but it was ground into me not to slurp.
    Also, as far as I’m aware, real women don’t make that sound (at least I don’t… as far as I know… never thought about it)

  68. OP9 member said, on August 14, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Come by and say hi sometime Az. The board misses ya.

  69. japart said, on August 15, 2009 at 7:05 am

    im japanese, and i think i have somewhat scientific backup for your question.
    slurping the noodles actually lets the noodles take the soup/taste with them, so it enters the mouth along with the noodles. therefore, its not tasteless as you may think. you just decide to put the noodles in your mouth quietly, which makes them dry and loses the soup/taste thats in the bowl.
    sorta. i hope i worded that right, lol.
    i get what you mean though. im japanese but i lived overseas for 8 years and when i got back, i realized just how weird japan was, but not i get why japanese people think the same about gaijins. :]

  70. newman said, on August 15, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    The reason as with most things in american porn is: faking it.
    The noise is a fake noise to imitate the noise the woman would make if a large member really was penetrating her and “stretching” her for lack of a better term. Now at first I’m sure this wouldn’t require the actress to fake it but over time i’m sure it becomes another part of her faking repetoire like the fake orgasm moans and shudders.

  71. commodorejohn said, on August 15, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    …I honestly can’t decide whether a woman making modem noises during sex would be awesome or terrifying. Maybe both.

  72. Tattri said, on August 16, 2009 at 1:48 am

    Well, I don’t know about noodles, but you’re supposed to slurp soup because it’s hot.

  73. Dee said, on August 16, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    I make sort of a gasping noise often when my boyfriend does a hard thrust that feels like he’s trying to reach my throat from down there. Sort of pleasure/pain thing I guess.

  74. Anonymous said, on August 16, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Hmm, that could be the only thing that really puts me off asian porn…that baby-noise making sound effect.
    From South Africa I haven’t heard much Suuuing but I’m pretty sure most of it is girl specific. You should get permission from your wife to branch out with polygamy in the interests of science 😉

  75. Anonymous said, on August 16, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Hmm, that could be the only thing that really puts me off asian porn…that baby-noise making sound effect.
    From South Africa I haven’t heard much Suuuing but I’m pretty sure most of it is girl specific. You should get permission from your wife to branch out with polygamy in the interests of science 😉

  76. Darqmax said, on August 16, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    My theory on the slurping noise goes like so,
    Imagine you’re at someone’s home and they cook some noodles for a meal they’re serving you. (with all lovey dovey care dawwwww etc.) It’s hot as all hell but you want to eat it very fast and show eagerness because they’re so good (pray that it is) or at least you want to give the impression you like their cooking.
    I think the slurping noise is caused when you try to eat noodles that are too hot and you’re sucking in extra air to try and help cool them off before they scorch the insides of your mouth into oblivion. I would guess it’s seen as polite because it shows you’re very eager to eat their wonderful tasty cooking quickly even though it’s extremely hot. But at least you’re not sitting there waiting & stalling just trying to blow on them instead.
    There isn’t much technique to slurping really. Just imagine eating spaghetti sloppily taking in copious amounts of extra air as you suck in the noodles but not too much air. Be careful not to breathe in the soup. It might lead to extra burps but you can stifle those. Breathe the extra air out from your nose.
    And yeah I had to try really hard to post this in a way so that it wouldn’t be construed as sexual. I probably failed.

  77. Anonymous said, on August 17, 2009 at 12:52 am

    Az, I’ll repeat the question one of the earlier comments made: did you just call American women “foreign women”?
    “One of us… One of us…”

  78. Anonymous said, on August 17, 2009 at 12:52 am

    Az, I’ll repeat the question one of the earlier comments made: did you just call American women “foreign women”?
    “One of us… One of us…”

  79. leidbag said, on August 17, 2009 at 12:57 am

    Az, I’ll repeat the question one of the earlier comments made: did you just call American women “foreign women”?
    “One of us… One of us…”

  80. wole said, on August 17, 2009 at 3:05 am

    “I tried to find foreign women”…..dude u r so japanese right now..
    and here is a blast from the past quote from OP9 days……. “Career men work very hard at their jobs, and go through a lot of pressure. They are very dedicated, often sacrificing a lot in their personal life for the benefit of their company.” so do you still hold that position with pride now that you are part of the system or with contempt? i bet there is so much you could be telling us about the job and experiences.

  81. Mike said, on August 17, 2009 at 7:59 am

    I have no idea what this ‘SUUUUUUU’ noise is supposed to be, and I’m a very lonely guy who watches a lot of porn.
    Or do you mean the sucking in of air that comes from, you know, exercising hard? The reason Japanese porn doesn’t have that is that the women in Japanese porn are mostly just lying there like a sex doll doing next to nothing. Women in western porn are treated like more than just furniture (often not a lot more, but it’s still better).
    And yeah, the lack of 10-inch pain-giving cocks in Japanese porn probably makes a difference too.

  82. JanniR said, on August 17, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Btw, http://orgasmpoweredcar.ytmnd.com/ .

  83. Will said, on August 17, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    You have legitimately ruined the ramen shops around my apartment, thank you so much Az. Next time I head into one of them I’ll be bombarded with old men making the dick-suck-sound.
    OH GOD MY EARS

  84. Em said, on August 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    I think the sucking in noise is just in porn, or from girls that have learned about sex from porn, find it sexy, and try to imitate. Women in real life don’t make as much noise as porn stars, anyone who’s had sex with a real woman knows that, and when they do, it’s not a sucking in noise.

  85. Travis said, on August 17, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    I actually have a theory about that.
    You know in movies, when something is happening in the distance (be it an explosion or whatever), you always hear the sound immediately instead of after a pause like in real life? They would do this because audience thought the realistic pause “sounded wrong.”
    In porn, same principle. That babe is sucking hard, right? So it should SOUND like she’s sucking hard too, because sex is apparently sexier when you can hear it as well as see it.
    If you’ve ever had trouble fapping to a vid that didn’t have sound–i.e.(real) amateur stuff, a hidden camera, etc–well, that’s why.

  86. zero said, on August 18, 2009 at 9:17 am

    Sorry to post this here, but I have been waiting 3 weeks to get into the outpostnine forums and the admin hasn’t approved me. What do I do?
    Great stuff, I’ve read all of them after I found the site.

  87. Anonymous said, on August 19, 2009 at 12:03 am

    I believe an equally American and Japanese woman would sound like a puppy choking on a flute.

  88. Anonymous said, on August 19, 2009 at 12:03 am

    I believe an equally American and Japanese woman would sound like a puppy choking on a flute.

  89. Anonymous said, on August 19, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    “During sex, do you find your screams of passion to resemble the sound of a 14.4k modem, or the sound you make when eating fried chicken off the bone?”
    I died at the 14.4k modem part…
    Great stuff.

  90. Anonymous said, on August 19, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    “During sex, do you find your screams of passion to resemble the sound of a 14.4k modem, or the sound you make when eating fried chicken off the bone?”
    I died at the 14.4k modem part…
    Great stuff.

  91. WF said, on August 19, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Agreeing with Celt: taking in the air “aerates” the soup and noodles (and cools it off). Basically, the extra air carries the itty bitty food particles up the throat and into the nasal cavity. Most flavors are actually sensed by this process, rather than the tongue. In short: yes, they do taste better that way. I’m happy my parents are very used to that sort of thing, because I can slurp without reservation. Even while eating hot pasta.
    I agree that the “suuuu” thing is most likely pr0n exagerration; I am female, and I don’t make that noise, at all. But I’m horrified to hear that Japanese porn has crying/”iyaaaaa!” that the fanservice does. I’m scarred for life… I wish there was porn with women enjoying themselves, instead of looking like they’re in pain. =(

  92. -J.M.Williams said, on August 20, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Great post Az, keep them coming lol

  93. Hipployta said, on August 20, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    Porn = Fake
    Unless your friend believes all that crying in Japanese porn is real, or attractive (so creepy), he needs to avoid basing his assumptions on porn.
    On that note I’m going to go watch a couple and listen for it…chicks in Justin Slayer’s flicks are usually busy dying though.
    And American women are foreign now? *shakes head* Go find one of the tons of military Americans there. That’s what I’ll be in a 2011.
    Had to stop lurking.

  94. jaz said, on August 22, 2009 at 1:13 am

    The suuu sound in porn, I’ve noticed, is the EXACT SOUND someone makes when they get a paper cut but don’t want to scream outloud. *opens envolope, gets cut* “SUUUUU!”
    I guess in porn the woman is supposed to be withholding their moans, or just verifying that it “hurts so good” or something.

  95. VK said, on August 23, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Interestingly, I very very rarely ever watch porn with sound on. Even if my roommate isn’t around to notice, since I still live in an apartment, I’m afraid of my neighbors hearing it through the walls. And we all know advertising that you’re watching porn/masturbating is shameful. Unless you’re with friends. Then it’s hilarious.

  96. Anonymous said, on August 24, 2009 at 11:02 am

    “During sex, do you find your screams of passion to resemble the sound of a 14.4k modem, or the sound you make when eating fried chicken off the bone?”
    I don’t know why, but when I read that part, I just thought of a guy yelling “This ain’t no dial-up bitch!”
    Don’t ask.

  97. Anonymous said, on August 24, 2009 at 11:02 am

    “During sex, do you find your screams of passion to resemble the sound of a 14.4k modem, or the sound you make when eating fried chicken off the bone?”
    I don’t know why, but when I read that part, I just thought of a guy yelling “This ain’t no dial-up bitch!”
    Don’t ask.

  98. stevebob said, on August 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    It’s an American Porn convention. I’d compare it to the way all women in (American) porn have that constant fake orgasmic moaning (ala Sally in the coffee shop in When Harry Met Sally). That sucking sound is being added to enhance the belief that she is giving one hell of a rim job.
    Not saying that it doesn’t happen in real life, it does, I just don’t think it happens that often.

  99. Yin said, on August 24, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    Chinese people are anti-slurping? Err… I’m Chinese-American; my parents were born and raised in China, and they always told me that slurping noodles was a something of a show of appreciation to the cook. Not to mention a good cooling method, as said before. Or maybe it’s a regional quirk? They were both from the southern part of the country.
    (Although they did warn me never to do in public, as the rest of the American population disapproves of that sort of thing)

  100. leidbag said, on August 25, 2009 at 1:36 am

    You know what? Since I’ve read this article, I’ve come to realize that this isn’t only an American Porn convention. Mainstream American media involving sex also does this. Granted, that’s even more fake, rehearsed, and choreographed, but the “Suuuu” sound is quite unmistakable. Fascinating.

  101. aj said, on August 25, 2009 at 2:48 am

    well i know i make the sucking sound when i start salivating more. it’s only to prevent myself from over “drooling” over the piece so to say. as for orgasms i get pretty loud (considering i’m a filipina), but i have to minimize my screaming (if it’s very intense) by screaming at a pillow or something….cuz i can possibly wake the neighbors. i have woken up my daughter though =\ that wasn’t good….
    as for the slurping on noodles, it just depends if you feel like doing it or not. i’m a kid at heart so i slurp on my noodles a lot when i do eat pho…
    btw…awesome post az

  102. LoC said, on August 27, 2009 at 1:05 am

    The guy who posted the family guy vid up there hit the nail on the head. I (male) know I make the porn chick ‘suuu’ noise… but it’s when I smack my elbow on concrete or somethin’. It’s just a combination of clenched teeth and a sharp inhalation. Kinda says something about us that a bunch of us find pained sounds to be a turn-on. Personally, I take such sounds as my cue to slow the fuck (see what I did there?) down before she goes numb… although really, most women (in my experience) protest pain long before any involuntary clenching/inhalation. You’re much more likely to hear “OW! KNOCK IT OFF!” than “suuuuu”
    …what was that acronym again..? PinRL.

  103. hiya said, on August 27, 2009 at 2:28 am

    My sister-in-law does the slurping and burbling thing with wine and she comes from a wine-making superfamily from France. With noodles it’s the same thing, you suck up the salty-as-hell broth with the noodles as if the broth were the tasty outer-layer of the noodle….if you didn’t slurp you would do that lip-squeegee thing with the noodle rendering it brothless and thus tasteless. Much like laboratory-only isotopes or whatever you call those elements that only exist for fractions of a second under particular conditions, so too the broth-cloaked-noodle is a rare creature of context.

  104. wole said, on August 27, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    hey Az i know this is off topic but do you know a good book to start japanese learning? any recommendations would be appreciated

  105. eDRoaCH said, on August 28, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Speaking of sucking-in noises, what about the ‘Japanese sigh’ where they make that noise like every single sentence when talking about something they have to think about?

  106. crew said, on August 29, 2009 at 7:40 am

    “At this point, I asked – “Does this mean I have permission to have sex with girls from multiple nationalities?”
    Nice try. By any chance are you a lawyer? I sense the lawyer in you. haha

  107. Liz said, on August 29, 2009 at 10:42 am

    SUUUU helps relieve the need to vocalize without waking the baby.

  108. Andres0082 said, on August 30, 2009 at 10:56 am

    When the world faces danger, only one man can step up:
    KAMEN RIDER HG

    (I apologize in advance for the mass braincell murder)

  109. Gino said, on August 31, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Hey Az, in case you didn’t hear yet over there in Japan, Disney bought Marvel out. Any chance you want to comment on your next update?

  110. Janne said, on September 1, 2009 at 4:34 am

    I was reading through the archive from start and in several posts you talk about moving from Japan with your wife. Is that still something you’re gonna do or are you staying in Japan?

  111. V3N0M said, on September 1, 2009 at 9:40 am

    Dude what the hell, AZ! I just saw you on tv here in japan!! When the hell were you gonna mention this to us!!!!!!
    (Az’s Note: So you saw that huh…)

  112. jessay said, on September 1, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    the japanese “suhhhh” as demonstrated by tanaka ken (i know this is old, but still hilarious):

  113. Tennyou said, on September 2, 2009 at 9:00 am

    LONDON HEARTS:
    You DO NOT look at pretty girls if you like someone. You are a faithful partner.
    You DO NOT look at pretty girls. They cannot help being pretty. It’s all YOUR fault for being a pervert — you’re just used to nudity, and you think its okay not to blush. PERVERT. DO NOT GAZE when seeing a lady at an onsen.
    You DO NOT go to an apartment on the FIRST DATE. PERVERT. How are we supposed to feel if you just want sex on the first date?
    YOU DESERVE TO BE RIDICULED!!
    SLURP, SLURP:
    Is it like a sudden intake of breath? I’ve seen that before. My theory is Meditation. While on screen they’re saying ‘Oh… yes… great…’
    They’re thinking ‘Please. Let. Me. Die.’
    Some of that looks awfully painful. In more ways than you may imagine.

  114. wole said, on September 2, 2009 at 11:09 am

    u were on tv?? what was that about?

  115. Zolbrod said, on September 3, 2009 at 1:41 am

    LOL, so that WAS you on 侍チュート!
    I knew it!
    God I hope that vid hits Youtube soon >=D

  116. Erica said, on September 3, 2009 at 10:55 am

    Ok. TV story. Now.
    Please and thank you!

  117. Anonymous said, on September 5, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    Okay. Lots of things make sense now. My wife makes a noise that I’d never heard a woman make before, but now it all clicks. My wife is half Asian, so she makes the crying noise, but since she’s only half Asian she does it in a much lower voice. I could never describe the sound she makes before, but I’d imagine it’d be like James Earl Jones crying when he was a baby….

  118. Anonymous said, on September 5, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    Okay. Lots of things make sense now. My wife makes a noise that I’d never heard a woman make before, but now it all clicks. My wife is half Asian, so she makes the crying noise, but since she’s only half Asian she does it in a much lower voice. I could never describe the sound she makes before, but I’d imagine it’d be like James Earl Jones crying when he was a baby….

  119. Les said, on September 6, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Somewhat related with regards to having been so long in Japan.. found this and thought, “Hey, maybe Az would think this was cool..”
    http://ampontan.wordpress.com/too-long-in-japan/

  120. Ian said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    LOL.
    Why to women in Japanese porn lay there like stoned zombies and squeek like crying little girls?

  121. Caleb said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Funny I see this now. The other day I was watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations and he was in Tokyo. He stopped to have some soba with famous chef Morimoto Masaharu who told him that he must slurp the noodles. Morimoto slurped perfectly and with much noise, while poor Mr Bourdain, being American, couldn’t even get close to a proper slurp.

  122. Anonymous said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Some other poster may have covered it already, but the reason slurping improves flavour is fairly simple. The vast majority of what we think of as “flavour” is in fact scent. The tongue is entirely incapable of differentiating between such a wide variety of flavours as we enjoy in our foods. What we think of as flavour is combined sensations of aroma molecules interacting with the olfactory sensors in our nasal passage, and some sensors in the mouth and throat. Slurping brings in a sudden rush of flavourful air which enhances the perception of whatever flavours are in the noodles.
    Wine tasters do the same thing with wine for the same reasons.

  123. Duamuteffe said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Just throwing in my vote for the sucking sound being a porn convention- I don’t make that noise, and neither did the succession of my oversexed college roommates.

  124. Anonymous said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    What’s this T.V. thing?! Tell us! Tell us!

  125. DNogitsune said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    I know what he is talking about. Quite annoying actually. Dude, is watching really crappy porn. Go to http://www.vivthomas.com that has much better ones without that stupid noise. At least the ones I have seen don’t have that noise.

  126. Anonymous said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    so what is this tv appearance thing about?
    oh yeah, and the ‘suuu’ thing is probably supposed to be pain.

  127. Denis said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    I’d second the comparison of slurping noodles with getting some air with a good mouthful of wine (I have experienced both) the smell is a major component of the taste.
    Just try and taste a good bottle of red wine when you’ve got a cold and you have lost your smell ability .. a disaster.

  128. christie said, on November 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    slurping noodles makes it somewhat colder when you eat it. but by not slurping it i think we’ll have better enjoyment of the taste though =P

  129. GK said, on November 18, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    “Also, I can suck the noodle the way it’s meant to be done, and I get the weirdest pseudo compliments on my “Japaneseness” for it.”
    Best. Sentence. Ever.

  130. Catags said, on November 23, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Wow. I used to read your stuff 3 or 4 years ago, when I was in Japan too.
    Glad to hear you’re married now! I guess it happens to everyone who stays there for too long. We get *married* O.o
    Will ask hubby what he thinks about the SUUUU SUUUU noise. He might have a theory too.


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