Gaijin Smash

Pardon Our Dust

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 8, 2009

Comments are now working again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Happy posting!


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Japanese People Say The Darndest Things – Version XP

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 8, 2009

I teach business conversational English classes twice a week. Unlike kids or old folks, adults are usually more reserved about what they say, so I rarely hear too many zany, WTF-worthy stuff. …But they do come up with some pretty funny stuff sometimes.
One group I teach is a really fun bunch. They seem to get along well outside of work, so in some ways the English class is a chance to unwind and enjoy themselves. Which is a good thing.
For my first class with them, we did self-introductions. After the obligatory boring regular introductions, I had them pick someone – anyone at all – assume the role of that character, and introduce themselves to each other in pairs. They made some interesting character choices – at one point, “Barack Obama” met “Jack Bauer”, and we all agreed that this is a meeting that should happen in real life.
As they are making the rounds, Jack Bauer meets a girl maybe in her mid-thirties/early forties. She’s also kind small/short. For this exercise, she has assumed the identity of Pikachu. As she introduces herself, Jack Bauer is a little surprised by her choice. He steps back, takes a good look at her, and says “Oh, you are Pikachu?! But, you are not yellow. You have no tail.” He even looked at her ass as he said that.
Maybe you have to be very un-PC to appreciate this, but I just found it absolutely hilarious. A Japanese guy sizes up a Japanese woman and then says, “You are not yellow. You have no tail.”
Obviously, Jack Bauer is in the Sir Mix-a-Lot camp when it comes to women.


Game On

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 6, 2009

When I have time, sometimes I like to pop into a Japanese arcade for a few rounds of video games. As some of you may have figured out already, I’m a big Street Fighter fan. Any adult male my age is at least casually familiar with Street Fighter II, the game that re-defined the arcade experience. But while most people played a few rounds and moved on, I’m of the select group that really dedicated ourselves to the game. Like, I used to go to tournaments and what not.
I had mostly hung up my fighting hat a few years ago, but this past summer Street Fighter IV was released in Japanese arcades. Those of you not familiar with the franchise may not know just how big of an event this was, so let me try and explain it for you. Street Fighter II was the game that hooked us all. That game was released in 1991. That was seventeen years ago. Seventeen years ago, George Bush Sr. invaded Iraq for the first time. Seventeen years ago, Rodney King was asking why can’t we all just get along. Many of you reading hadn’t even been born yet. In that time, we got three brand new Star Wars movies, Rocky, Rambo, The Terminator, John McClane, and Indy Jones have come back to the big screen, and Bryan Adams was The Shitâ„¢. And yet numerically, Street Fighter has only gone from II to IV.


Update 1.5.09

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 5, 2009

Happy New Year everyone!
Hope you had a fun and safe passing of 2008. I did as well – no parties or debauchery for this old man. I stayed home and watched TV. I know I go on about hating Japanese TV, but this is one show I actually look forward to. It’s called “Gaki no Tsukai”, and features Japanese comedians being put in ridiculous situations, and then getting smacked on the ass for laughing. Yep, it is every bit as insane as it sounds.


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