Gaijin Smash

System Update

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on April 24, 2008

Yes, despite reports to the contrary, I was not dead these past two months. No, rather, the next best thing – I’ve been working like a Japanese salaryman. Not that I’m putting in long hours anymore, but I no longer have the time to write articles in secret at my desk. I don’t always have the luxury to do them at home either. I’d been thinking “Man, I really want to update the site!”, but a whole week would go by without me being able to do anything, and the next thing I knew it was a whole two months. Man, time flies.
So, as it seems people are curious, just a few updates as to what’s been going on lately. And no, the title of this piece has nothing to do with anything computer related.
Yes, I am actually married now.
“But wait,” many of your are saying, “didn’t you say September?” Yes, yes I did. Funny, that. You see, more or less the instant I proposed to my girlfriend…well, wife now, in her mind we were already married. The rest is just formalities. In my head I’d had a one or two year engagement in mind. She wanted to go ahead and get married in May. I managed to talk her into September. But sometime around January, she said we should go ahead and submit the official paperwork for the actual marriage. …There really wasn’t anything I could say otherwise.
Her: Let’s go ahead and put the paperwork in now.
Me: Why rush? We’ve still got time.
Her: So…you don’t want to marry me?
Me: No, I didn’t say that. I mean, the actual ceremony won’t be until September, so the paperwork can wait, can’t it?
Her: So…you don’t want to marry me?
Me: No, I mean, its okay to take our time with the paperwork, isn’t it?
Her: So…you don’t want to marry me?
Me: ….What I meant to say was, we should go ahead and submit the paperwork now.
Her: ^_^
So yes, legally we are all married and stuff. The wedding ceremony though is still set for September. Wedding plans…so far with the event still quite a few months away, there isn’t much do to. Right now the big thing is saving money. I’m having to put back pretty much the majority of my paycheck that isn’t devoted to bills, and even then I’m not sure I’ll be able to save enough. So yes, I am still looking for ways to whore myself out for a few extra yen. And failing that, if nothing else presents itself, I suppose I could teach English. But that’s only if the whoring plans never pan out. I have been looking for part-time work, but both the wife and my mother are opposed to the idea for the potential strain it might put on the relationship…so I’m not sure what to do in that regard yet.



Very Lost in Translation

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on April 22, 2008

When I first started my job, I didn’t do the translations – I merely checked translations done by other people. The people who were primarily doing the translations were Japanese. As many of you can probably guess, this lead to some hilarious Engrish.
Not to take away from the translators abilities. Japanese and English just don’t directly match up, and anyone translating into their non-native language is bound to encounter a few problems. But still, these lines struck me as funny, so I wanted to showcase them. …Also, in a lot of cases, I think the original Japanese was pretty screwy as well.
And one final note – while the translations for clothes catch-copy sometimes provided for great entertainment, the ones I’m focusing on here are all related to condoms, lube, and sex products. Why? Cause I’m a huge perv. Er, man. Same difference.