Gaijin Smash

You Are What You Buy

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on October 18, 2007

We sell some weird shit.
They say that you can tell a lot about a country just by looking at the different kinds of weird shit they sell. Actually, no, I just made that up, but it sounds like something “they” would say, doesn’t it? And while I’m thinking about it, who are “they” anyway? You know, all those saying that start with “Well, you know what they say…” No, I don’t know what they say, and just who the fuck are these mysterious Illuminati “they” motherfuckers who sit around and rattle off mantras for us to live our lives by? BIG BROTHER, GET OUT OF MY PRIVACY!
…Ahem. Anyway, one might say (ah, much better) that you can tell a lot about a country just by some of the weird shit they sell. I certainly hope that isn’t the case, because what does America have to offer? Lose-weight-quick gadgets, George Foreman grills, and baseball cards? But in my duties here, I’ve found a few products that just made me say “Hmmm…..” I’d like to share a few of these products with you good folks here today.
Oh, and for those of you who had problems viewing the links before, try going to the main page first.
Let’s start with a light appetizer, of course.
The Eyelid Fold Fine – Here’s a handy little machine for creating a nice fold in your eyelids. …Huh? When I originally translated this, I had to triple check to make sure I wasn’t making some stupid error somewhere. “It…folds…your eyelids? Huh?”
The Chinese lady I sit next to saw my befuddlement, and asked if there was anything she could help with. I told her I didn’t quite understand this product, and she explained that it’s for exactly what it says it does – creating a fold in your eyelids. “Of course you don’t understand, you’re a Westerner, so you have natural, beautiful eyelid folds,” she says, “but we Asians don’t have that, so we have to have use machines like these to make eyelid folds.” I was not aware that having a crease in one’s eyelids was considered to be beautiful. On all the parts of a woman I check out, I don’t think I’ve ever gone “man! Check out the eyelid folds on that babe! Hoo-ee!” But okay, sure.
I also would not send ELECTRICAL CURRENTS THROUGH MY EYE SOCKETS in order to create an eyelid fold, but hey – different strokes and all that I guess.


Virgin and Pink II – This is one of several products we carried in the line of nipple pinkening. Yes, you read that right, nipple pinkening. If you think your nipples are just too dark, apply a little Virgin and Pink II, and they’ll be, well, I guess virgin and pink, in no time!
I’ve also heard this Japanese old wives tale a few times – that women who have dark nipples supposedly have had a lot of sex, while women with pink nipples are still inexperienced and virginal. So I guess it’s like the rings on a tree trunk thing, except the pH of your nipples determines how many dicks you’ve taken inside or something.
I would absolutely love to link you to a product description page here, but the simple problem is that we’re all sold out.
I’m not sure what exactly this says. Perhaps that somewhere out there right now, there are Asian women desperately rubbing Virgin and Pink II on their nipples to hide their sluttiness? Don’t know, don’t want to. Although, it would be kind of nice if this old wife’s tale was actually true though. Could save us men a lot of pain and suffering…
Guy: Can I take off your bra?
Girl: Go for it babe!
Guy: …OMG! Woman, your nipples are darker than Charlie Murphy! How many men have you fucked?
Girl: …Today?
Guy: OUT YOU GO.
And yes, I was thinking about my ex in the situation above. IIRC she had some twilight fuckin’ nipples. Well, there you go I guess. I also can’t help but to think that Japanese men are some persnickety sons of bitches if these are the kinds of things they worry about.
American Man In Front of a Naked Woman: OMG NAKED WOMAN SEX NOW WHEE!!!!!!
Japanese Man in Front of a Naked Woman: …WTF? Where are your eyelid folds? And why are your nipples so dark? You ugly harleton, leave from my sight!
Toy Memories – When I first started working here, instead of translating right off the bat I spent a lot of time trying to go back and retroactively fix broken English. …No, I never quite finished that job. Anyway, here was another product that baffled me. We only get the item data in an Excel file – most of the time, you kind of know what a “Super Eyebrow Plucker” or “Soft Hands Foot Relaxer” is, but Toy Memories, WTF? The catch-copy didn’t help me much either – “A great value in what looks like a cute toy box.” Then I get to the spec – “Materials: Latex”. …Waitaminute. I have to bust out a catalog at take a look at what the hell this is.
Yep. Condoms.
Now, my ordinary hated for Japanese condoms is pretty well documented I think…but condoms that come in a toy box? C’mon now. What exactly are you trying to convey with this? “Ah, reminds me of all the pussy I scored back when I was 8 years old…” Or perhaps “This box will give the 8-year old I’m fucking an extra playful experience…” Okay, that one was terrible, but given how young some Japanese guys like em here, sadly it might not be that far fetched.
I mean, I’m as big of a fan of the Old School as anyone else. I have actual Transformer action figures lined up in my apartment. I can sing the GI Joe movie theme by heart. I can probably recite entire episodes of Ducktales with my eyes closed and Limp Biskit CD’s blaring behind me. But sometimes, you gotta draw a line with this shit, and for me, the bedroom is one of those places. To the ladies in the audience, if we were ever in a position to be having sexual intercourse together (humor me here), and I did something like pull out a Rodimus Prime dildo*, a Scooby Doo condom, or even patented Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle KY “Ooze” Lubrication…you have permission to slap me right in the face, and just walk out the door. I’d understand. I think everyone would understand.
*Today’s Random Trivia – Did you know that there’s a classic Transformers episode actually titled “The Girl Who Loved Powerglide”? The girl who loved powerglide. Wow. How the hell did THAT slip by the censors back in 1985?
Super Saver Condoms – Okay, how fucking cheap do you have to be to buy the Costco brand of condoms? Seriously, c’mon now. There are areas in life you can skimp on – pick up the “Dr. Cola” instead of Dr. Pepper. Get the “Flakes with Frosting” instead of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes. …But condoms? Nuh-uh, no.
Kid: Mommy, why was I born?
Mom: Well, you father bought the cheap brand of condoms, and I guess you get what you pay for. ….Hey, I didn’t mean it like that, stop crying!
What really kills me about these though is the catch-copy. “These condoms will expire 1-2 years after you receive them. Since the expiration period is so short, we recommend buying them up in a group.” Would that actually work?
Man: Honey, let’s have sex…
Woman: I told you before, I’m not in the mood.
Man: But you know, I still have a truckload of my Super Saver Condoms left, and they’re gonna expire soon…
Woman: Well, when you put it that way. Would hate for them to go to waste and all…
New picking up girls tactic: I’m just gonna go up to random Japanese girls on the street, show them a soon-to-expire condom, and say “Help me, I NEED to use this now!” I’m sort of joking, but it could actually work.
You see, Japan is a county that LOVES it’s “gentei”, or “limited time” goods. In America, a company will introduce something as “limited time only!”, but if it proves to be popular enough it’ll stick around. Like the McDonalds Monopoly game, or Justin Timberlake. However, in Japan, no matter how popular or well-received it is, if it’s “gentei”, it’s going bye-bye.
Which is frustrating because the BEST SHIT in Japan is always gentei! The new delicious drink at the convenience store? Gentei. That awesome new pasta at the Italian restaurant? Gentei. Japanese TV show that doesn’t make you want to pour microwaved baby vomit into your eye sockets? Gentei. Sometimes, a gentei item might come back, but much of the gentei is seasonal (of course. Japan loves its “unique” four seasons…) so you’ll have to wait for a whole year before its available again.
But yeah, given how much the Japanese love gentei, the “my condoms are about to expire!” trick might actually work. I have yet to try it out, but perhaps one day I will. I’d also like to try out “Hey baby, my dick is gentei” as a pick-up line, but I haven’t quite worked up the courage yet. One of my best friends left Japan recently, and we were thinking about making him a “gentei” T-shirt to help find him some last-minute lovin’, but sadly we never got around to it.
I’ve got lots more wacky goods to write about, but this article is getting long, so I’ll save it for the next time. Same bat time, same bat channel. You bring the Powerglide, and I’ll bring the Rodimus Prime.

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68 Responses

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  1. K. Daniels said, on October 18, 2007 at 5:14 am

    You know, the mention of condoms here reminds me, I have seen the, what were they… Super Big Boy condoms. The brand with the horse on the box. It was just as amusing when I saw it for myself as it was when I read your article featuring it before.
    BUT, something else that I saw…
    I assume you have seen Rilakkuma around, since you’ve been in Japan for a while now. (and if not, it’s this cute as hell bear that rolls with a smaller bear and a chicken)
    Well… Rilakkuma condoms.
    That just… that just makes me sad.
    Talk about pedo alert.

  2. Megan J. said, on October 18, 2007 at 5:14 am

    I actually saw a “you are what you buy” sign in Yokohama.

  3. Mayhem said, on October 18, 2007 at 5:35 am

    Amidst the darkening of the day, when all seems boring and dull, your posts make everything appear funny once more. Out of interest, is there anything the Chinese lady has NOT been able to explain to you?

  4. Kyle E said, on October 18, 2007 at 5:44 am

    seems im the only insomniac around today. good to see you still kicking. I think half of the reason I love Japan is that I get to fathom these unimaginable circumstances that are everyday in Japan. Like, the lesidence across the street. Is that just a l-r confusion or is that the best house to put a video camera?

  5. AmbientSky said, on October 18, 2007 at 6:34 am

    haha good to see youve updated

  6. Coma said, on October 18, 2007 at 6:37 am

    rofl! my dick is gentei!

  7. spinkick said, on October 18, 2007 at 7:29 am

    O.M.G…. you’ve been gone for… like… forever, and there are no comments yet?
    Oh wait. I just did.
    I will try the almost-expired condom approach this weekend to see if it actually works. Thanks for the tip.

  8. LaMortImmortelle said, on October 18, 2007 at 7:39 am

    LOL i love reading your blogs…(even though i rarely comment)
    oh god that is some funny stuff right there o.O
    just what i need when i have a super stressful exam tomorrow ^^ haha totally made my night.
    Thanx!
    Yeah i’ve heard of that eyelid thing…sounds a bit uh…harmful o.O

  9. Craig said, on October 18, 2007 at 7:50 am

    FIRST!!
    Ahem.. anywho’s..
    I know what you mean about the limited stuff. the only time Mc Donalds serves stuff in the uk that dosent taste like 70% cardboard 30% cow ass, it when its a limited item. It sucks.

  10. eL Thorsen said, on October 18, 2007 at 8:46 am

    This is hardly scientific and I’ve not been able to confirm it, but I seem to remember something about the colour of nipples being dependent on the amount of estrogen in the body. The more estrogen, the darker the nipples.
    That would perhaps confirm the old wives’ tale but in reverse: the darker the nipple, the lustier the woman.
    Anyone here an expert?

  11. chosenone said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:16 am

    You jerk. I just busted out laughing in front of a class I was teaching DURING A TEST, because of your article. Had to cover it up like it was a coughing fit and shit. Powerglide got me. Thanks for the laugh, but I’ve learned never to do this during work again. Who the fuck am I kidding, I’ll be back on this bitch tomorrow! PEACE.

  12. Chela said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:27 am

    Great post. You crack me up.
    The whole pink nipple and eye-lid fold are just more evidence of the Japanese people trying to look more “white”. Doesn’t the color of nipples have to do with one’s pigmentation rather than estrogen?

  13. Eric of Oregon said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:34 am

    Another well written post!
    It’s always a good omen to read these at the start of the day, especially if it’s a new post! πŸ˜€
    As for “they,” my surroundings have always made it clear that the meaning is usually equal to the social norm.

  14. Ano Yaro said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:59 am

    “Harleton”? I think you mean “harlot”. I was hoping you had taught me some cool new word, but unless you mean a town in Texas, I’m afraid not.

  15. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:47 am

    I don’t buy that eyelid thing at all, asian people are meant to have those type of eyes. I have noticed that alot of asian people that I have seen look less traditional, they even have blonde hair. I blame anime for the vanity in Japan, if they believe that, the some of them must think that they are born deformed or something. I am not asian but I find nothing wrong with the way they appear to look. I think that this is self hatred, they need to be themselves. I respect those who will not change because you have self knowledge and sufficiency instead of pride, appearance is not everything, we become what we are mentally because of our environment. Asian people of the previous years ago found nothing wrong with their eyes. Don’t pursue or copy, originate, start from the root of what you are, that is beauty that matters most. Black peoples skin is a obstacle, but I never witnessed many controversy of them trying rid of it, but there is self hatred in the black ethnic such as skin tone and hair length. It is a stereotype that blacks have big lips and noses, but we prove our worth through music(well at least back then), I have met some people who hate blacks but they love our music and culture Glamour distorts us and causes us to care about materials instead of loving our selfs, good health is beauty, you could be the cutest person on earth, people will find a way to insult you. They majority are worried about external qualities and they don’t have a secure spirit, that’s why they are focus on what outwardly, I am not talking about all asians, or the majority of asians but the people in general(all races) who want to change in such a way, I am not judging, but I am trying to give a wake up call, Thanks Azrael, I am glade you updated. I don’t mind anyone disagreeing ok. sorry If I made any spelling errors.

  16. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:47 am

    I don’t buy that eyelid thing at all, asian people are meant to have those type of eyes. I have noticed that alot of asian people that I have seen look less traditional, they even have blonde hair. I blame anime for the vanity in Japan, if they believe that, the some of them must think that they are born deformed or something. I am not asian but I find nothing wrong with the way they appear to look. I think that this is self hatred, they need to be themselves. I respect those who will not change because you have self knowledge and sufficiency instead of pride, appearance is not everything, we become what we are mentally because of our environment. Asian people of the previous years ago found nothing wrong with their eyes. Don’t pursue or copy, originate, start from the root of what you are, that is beauty that matters most. Black peoples skin is a obstacle, but I never witnessed many controversy of them trying rid of it, but there is self hatred in the black ethnic such as skin tone and hair length. It is a stereotype that blacks have big lips and noses, but we prove our worth through music(well at least back then), I have met some people who hate blacks but they love our music and culture Glamour distorts us and causes us to care about materials instead of loving our selfs, good health is beauty, you could be the cutest person on earth, people will find a way to insult you. They majority are worried about external qualities and they don’t have a secure spirit, that’s why they are focus on what outwardly, I am not talking about all asians, or the majority of asians but the people in general(all races) who want to change in such a way, I am not judging, but I am trying to give a wake up call, Thanks Azrael, I am glade you updated. I don’t mind anyone disagreeing ok. sorry If I made any spelling errors.

  17. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:48 am

    thanks Azrael

  18. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:48 am

    thanks Azrael

  19. Red said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:48 am

    K. Daniels: Of course it’s a pedo alert, it _is_ a bear after all.

  20. PrettyNormous said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:57 am

    Speaking of your Rodimus Prime dildo, I managed to completely skew my thoughts of a certain transformer a couple of years ago when I caw his cameo in an adult movie. For those of us geeky enough to remember Scattorshot – leader of the Technobots – and his interestingly-shaped toy (OK, let’s be fair, it looked like a weird alien vibrator was attached to it), I saw him as an unwilling participant in porn. Some woman was inventing a new meaning to the phrase “playing with your transformer toys”.
    As much as I love my porn and my Transformers, I always feel weird whenever I see that character in an old episode now. It’s like walking in on a co-worker masturbating – you just can’t look them in the eye anymore…..

  21. Ishi said, on October 18, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    Yep, epicanthal eye folds are a sign of beauty amongst several asian cultures, along with small feet, big earlobes, etc. Frankly I think putting them all together would make a pretty freaky looking person.
    My parents met via my father’s cousin, who swore they would be a great match and guarenteed that their kids would have eyefolds or else she’d pay for cosmetic surgery. Luckily for her, I did have them… eventually. My dad held it over her head for 13 years first.

  22. Liz said, on October 18, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    @Craig, Nipples darken during pregnancy because of the increase in estrogen. Darker nipples would actually indicate someone who was more feminine.
    What would actually indicate “potential slut” would be having some darker hairs on the chest and upper lip (not like “gorilla girl” but just a few) that would indicate having more testosterone and thus a higher libido.
    While I do get why they have that default disclaimer on all their products, I found the warnings about being pregnant or breastfeeding on the condom pages absolutely hysterical.

  23. AD said, on October 18, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    I have an Asian friend here in the states that actually had surgery to create a fold in his eyelids. We were in high school at the time, and he just showed up one day with these thin red scars on his eyelids. He told us they did it with lasers. Yikes.
    Needless to say, we gave him hell about it.

  24. Gomez said, on October 18, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    I remember some Koreans telling me I had nice eyelids a while back… Kinda makes some sense now, but still…
    “These condoms will expire 1-2 years after you receive them. Since the expiration period is so short, we recommend buying them up in a group.”
    I’m still struggling to make sense of this, they are encouraging you to buy them in bulk because they don’t last long? In my mind this would seem like a last minute “Oh crap I’ve only got 100 yen left and the missus wants some protected luvin’.” kind of scenario, but I guess thats just me…

  25. ytter_man said, on October 18, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    bizzarre dude, i cant say i’ve ever looked at an asians eyelids? *googles*
    ok, i dont see much difference. who the hell notices eyelids? like fold in what way? im having a hard time picturing this whole eyelid folding thing.
    anyway great post man!
    ❀ for you Az!

  26. kkk said, on October 18, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    Hmm.. I’m asian and I have 2 – 3 natural folds on each eye. I have to actually shape them into a single fold cos they’ll look weird otherwise. My eyes aren’t really asian looking but I’m a pure chinese. Well, many east asians already have double eyelids, because whether its fake or natural, it makes your eyes seem bigger and believe me, some asian singers/actresses can become unimaginably popular due to their “big” eyes alone.

  27. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 6:41 pm

    Woman, your nipples are darker than Charlie Murphy!
    Darkness!Darkness is spreading!

  28. Anonymous said, on October 18, 2007 at 6:41 pm

    Woman, your nipples are darker than Charlie Murphy!
    Darkness!Darkness is spreading!

  29. Shamie said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    What the hell is with asian women and dark nipples?! I’ve heard this numerous times and I still don’t get it. I’m just happy I’ve never had to deal with this kind of insecurity personally. Guuuuh. And that pedo-joke was just bad. I’m sure pedo-bear is proud. Or jealous.

  30. Prodigal Priest said, on October 18, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    I had a crapload of the GI Joes growing up myself, and transformers?!? xD I had the original Megatron plus other sundry autobots and decepticons.
    Plus He-man action figures…. and V. Remember that? God, the stroll down Memory Lane is getting me all misty-eyed :).
    Classic example of different strokes for different folks, indeed :D. Take care, man.

  31. Triplekia said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:00 pm

    you forgot this

  32. LaMortImmortelle said, on October 18, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    Oh apparently jackie chan had double eyelid surgery.
    let me see if i can find the picture for it.
    ..ah here it is

    got it off a thread in the Asian Fanatics forum

  33. Patrick said, on October 19, 2007 at 12:31 am

    PrettyNormous, you want to inform us of what movie that was?
    *Today’s Random Trivia – Did you know that there’s a classic Transformers episode actually titled “The Girl Who Loved Powerglide”? The girl who loved powerglide. Wow. How the hell did THAT slip by the censors back in 1985?
    I had Powerglide. He was one weird plane. And I can see how he’d make a good porn toy, if he was larger. As for how it got by the censors… That one you’ve got me on.

  34. Anon said, on October 19, 2007 at 9:06 am

    There are products here in the Philippines that turn your nipples blue, violet, pink and green and it does NOT make women look like virgins.

  35. TeratoMarty said, on October 19, 2007 at 10:25 am

    OK, the eyelid creaser looks like a medieval torture device, except you use it on YOURSELF. That is messed up. I saw an eyelash curler once- like a little bitty guillotine mounted on scissor handles, you’re supposed to close the guillotine over your eyelashes to bend them outward- and that struck me as wack at the time, but damn. That was practically normal compared to electrocuting your eyesockets.

  36. Jenna said, on October 19, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    At least your job isn’t boring!

  37. Dal said, on October 19, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Pro tip: If you copy and paste the links to another window, they work as well!
    Anyway, asian people always seem really into the whole fold thing. Getting cosmetic surgery etc…
    It’s all very apparent if you just look at anime. I mean, the reason for the big fucking eyes, weird hair colour, giant motherfucking tits + tiny waist and nice shapely thighs is because that’s something that asian women don’t have most of the time.
    If they only knew that white women thousands of miles away strived to stay as thin as a lot of them are as well πŸ˜„
    (Note: I do not strive to be super thin, I quite enjoy having boobs and lets with contours)

  38. Dan C said, on October 19, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    I think that they said “Buy them in a group” meaning get a group of people together and split the package between you. That seems to make more sense to me.

  39. Nick said, on October 19, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    you.. are my hero. lol
    haha
    i wanna go back to japan SO bad

  40. Anonoachick said, on October 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    “A seamonster ate my ice cream!!!!!!”

  41. Will J said, on October 19, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    I’ve heard there are some weird mentalities about nipples in Japan…so Japanese people have varying colored nipples? To be honest I’m surprised there wasn’t some sort of ethnic cleansing in their history to make sure the levels of “sameness” were never overthrown by this nipple coloring dilemma.

  42. raspberihevn said, on October 19, 2007 at 9:51 pm

    Hey Az, I remember an article you wrote about oyako-don, I’m watching this anime from recommendation. Within the first 10 minutes they talk about the “child-parent-family” combo, it’s pretty disgusting. http://www.crunchyroll.com/showmedia?id=50059

  43. notnotchris said, on October 20, 2007 at 3:53 am

    My ex had a birth control pill case with Hello Kitty on the cover. I couldn’t believe it. But it was kinda cute.

  44. Julia said, on October 20, 2007 at 5:37 pm

    I’m Asian so I know the whole thing about the eyelids. It’s supposed to give you the illusion of having larger eyes. I happen to have a fold, which is pretty rare.. So people usually compliment me like this
    “Wow.. You have thousand dollar eye-folds”
    or..
    “Who is your plastic surgeon?”
    Yea.. It is a gift and a curse. :3 I love reading your entries.. keep them up~!

  45. Bill Koch said, on October 21, 2007 at 1:55 am

    “Powerglide” is also the name of the two-speed automatic transmission introduced by General Motors in 1950.

  46. Anonymous said, on October 21, 2007 at 5:33 am

    Whoo, new entry! Great stuff Az, this could be an entertaining path to go down for a while. =P I assume new products don’t come around all too often so it might not be as frequent material as the kids stuff, but with the site now being called ‘Gaijin Smash’ you’re not really bound by rules of what to write about. It’s just another aspect of Japan from the eyes of a large black guy. Gold.

  47. Anonymous said, on October 21, 2007 at 5:33 am

    Whoo, new entry! Great stuff Az, this could be an entertaining path to go down for a while. =P I assume new products don’t come around all too often so it might not be as frequent material as the kids stuff, but with the site now being called ‘Gaijin Smash’ you’re not really bound by rules of what to write about. It’s just another aspect of Japan from the eyes of a large black guy. Gold.

  48. Lindsay said, on October 22, 2007 at 2:22 am

    The first time I saw one of my Korean friends giving herself eyelid folds (which involved some sort of poky thing and… eyelid glue.) I just sort of stared at her and went wtf? To this day I do not understand what exactly the purpose is.
    And @ limited-edition-everything, I believe this quote from a friend of mine during our own LE bitching session sums it up quite nicely:
    “One day they’ll come out with the cure for AIDS, but it’ll be in limited edition Hello Kitty vials and only available until they go out of print.”

  49. Jen said, on October 22, 2007 at 11:33 am

    The color of nipples are darkened by the increase of hormones during pregnancy. So having lighter nipples only proves you probably never exprerienced a pregnancy. So I guess in a way, they do prove you’re younger.

  50. JH from Finland said, on October 22, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    Man, now I can’t stop thinking about my eyelids. I have so heavy a brow that I can’t even SEE the upper lids, so this is fucked up on so many levels.

  51. Amanda said, on October 23, 2007 at 2:59 am

    Trust me, I’m a white girl, but wearing eye shadow is futile for me because you can’t even see my eyelids. My b/f says I have hooded eyelids, “Asian eyes.” But I like my eyes =D They’re my favorite feature.

  52. Anonymous said, on October 23, 2007 at 8:36 am

    In all fairness, if you combine the whole nipple-darkening-with-pregnancy thing with the fact that Japanese women are, in general, much less likely to take birth control pills and have easy access to abortions, there might be a grain of truth to it.
    Of course, that would also mean that the population of Hokkaido is full of dewy virgins and that Kyushuu is pretty much one big orgy.

  53. Anonymous said, on October 23, 2007 at 8:36 am

    In all fairness, if you combine the whole nipple-darkening-with-pregnancy thing with the fact that Japanese women are, in general, much less likely to take birth control pills and have easy access to abortions, there might be a grain of truth to it.
    Of course, that would also mean that the population of Hokkaido is full of dewy virgins and that Kyushuu is pretty much one big orgy.

  54. jimbo said, on October 23, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    harleton = charlatan?
    http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/charlatan

  55. Exerci said, on October 24, 2007 at 11:34 am

    [in all fairness, if you combine the whole nipple-darkening-with-pregnancy thing with the fact that Japanese women are, in general, much less likely to take birth control pills and have easy access to abortions, there might be a grain of truth to it.
    Of course, that would also mean that the population of Hokkaido is full of dewy virgins and that Kyushuu is pretty much one big orgy.
    Posted by: Anonymous at October 23, 2007 08:36 AM]
    I’m not sure it’s possible, but that post was almost made from more win than Chuck Norris, Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal added together. Just…Wow.

  56. TeratoMarty said, on October 24, 2007 at 4:22 pm

    You are what you buy, huh? That makes me… pants from Goodwill and a lot of comic books. Damn, it’s true.

  57. Anonymous said, on October 25, 2007 at 10:08 pm

    I think the eyelid folds are supposed to make the eyes look a lot bigger and more expressive.
    I’ve never heard of nipple lightening cream…is it like skin bleach?? That sounds interesting though, let us know when it’s back in stock πŸ˜‰

  58. Anonymous said, on October 25, 2007 at 10:08 pm

    I think the eyelid folds are supposed to make the eyes look a lot bigger and more expressive.
    I’ve never heard of nipple lightening cream…is it like skin bleach?? That sounds interesting though, let us know when it’s back in stock πŸ˜‰

  59. Amanda said, on October 26, 2007 at 12:52 am

    Correction on my earlier post: Ok…I have ONE fold. I still have what I consider “exotic” eyes though o.o

  60. Cerebomb said, on October 26, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    “WTF? Where are your eyelid folds? And why are your nipples so dark? You ugly harleton, leave from my sight!”
    ROFLMAO! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day.

  61. Matt said, on October 30, 2007 at 5:55 am

    How about a shirt that says “Fuck me, I’m gentei”? That could work…

  62. Elizabeth_h said, on November 3, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    Believe it or not… I found something similar to the “virgin and Pink II” called “Juvenile and Pink II”. It sounds even sicker.
    http://www.jshoppers.com/shohin-eg.asp?Shocd=J49005&Gamen=3&PageNo=1&bunrui1=6&bunrui2=1&bunrui3=1

  63. Anonymous said, on November 7, 2007 at 4:56 am

    Asian blepharoplasty is getting to be a big deal. It really can make a difference though.
    http://www.drmeronk.com/asian/asian-eyelid-photos.html

  64. Anonymous said, on November 7, 2007 at 4:56 am

    Asian blepharoplasty is getting to be a big deal. It really can make a difference though.
    http://www.drmeronk.com/asian/asian-eyelid-photos.html

  65. Monica said, on November 13, 2007 at 10:09 pm

    i can understand why theyd want to fold their eyelids. im asian, so i dont have eyelids either. its really hard to put on eyeshadow when u dont know where to stop. thats what the eyelid is for!!! i cant put on eyeshadow cause i dont have eyelids! so, seriously, we have our reasons for random randomness.

  66. vampjannae said, on November 16, 2007 at 4:18 am

    roflmao!
    What I find so strikingly funny about this is that my room mate and I frequently curse our eyelid folds because Asians can do anything with their eyes and not make them look like they are popping out of their heads… for example, if I were to put on dark eyeshadow below the crease and a really drastically light color to the brow… oh my God… I would look like a complete zombie…
    Let one of our Asian friends do that, and they look like GODDESSES!
    Yet another example of the grass being greener on the other side, lol!

  67. Anonymous said, on December 3, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    “Trust me, I’m a white girl, but wearing eye shadow is futile for me because you can’t even see my eyelids.”
    “i can understand why theyd want to fold their eyelids. im asian, so i dont have eyelids either. its really hard to put on eyeshadow when u dont know where to stop.”
    Exactly. I’m too lazy to wear makeup anyway, but the few times I tried to put on eyeshadow, it just disappeared because of the way they fold underneath. I always thought the creating the eyefold was just so you could put on eyeshadow, not so that you looked more white or whatever. By the way, I have used this tape thing that creates an eyefold, and it doesn’t hurt at all and you can’t feel it.

  68. Anonymous said, on December 3, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    “Trust me, I’m a white girl, but wearing eye shadow is futile for me because you can’t even see my eyelids.”
    “i can understand why theyd want to fold their eyelids. im asian, so i dont have eyelids either. its really hard to put on eyeshadow when u dont know where to stop.”
    Exactly. I’m too lazy to wear makeup anyway, but the few times I tried to put on eyeshadow, it just disappeared because of the way they fold underneath. I always thought the creating the eyefold was just so you could put on eyeshadow, not so that you looked more white or whatever. By the way, I have used this tape thing that creates an eyefold, and it doesn’t hurt at all and you can’t feel it.


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