Gaijin Smash

Deep Japanese Thoughts

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on June 12, 2007

By Azrael Handy
I hate lazy-eyed Japanese people. I can never tell if they’re staring at me, or out the window.
The Japanese name for a bowl of rice with chicken and eggs is “oyakodon.” Literally, this means “bowl of parent and child.” I think this is the saddest name for food ever, including rape blossoms. Could you imagine if there were a race of aliens that would just reach down and scoop up a mother and her child, put them in a bowl of rice, and eat them? If these aliens really did exist, I’m pretty sure I’d want to meet them.
People keep wanting Japan to apologize for all the atrocities they’ve committed, but honestly, I don’t think Pokemon was all that bad.
I once told a 12 year-old Japanese boy that if he tried to stick his fingers up my ass, I’d stick my fingers up his ass. In some cultures, this is pedophilic gay porn. Luckily for me, in Japan, this is only saying hello. I told this story to my friend Michael, and he said he was coming to visit me immediately. I hope I have a spare futon.
And this is totally unrelated to the above, but when Japanese people get sick, they wear masks over their faces to contain the germs. Then in the summer, women use umbrellas and cover their hands and arms with gloves to stay white. I also just read in the news that the US is asking Japan to crack down on its lax child pornography laws….No wonder Michael Jackson is still so popular here.


If Japanese pussy really was sideways, I imagine all Japanese girls would have to walk like cowboys. And they could get some jeans with tassels, and spurs too. If they ever got into a fight over a man, they could have a shootout at the Okei Corral.
I met a Japanese man once who asked me how many guns I had. I told him I didn’t have any, but he insisted that I did because I was American, and that I was lying about it because I was black. I was so mad over being stereotyped that I shot him with my glock.
I love the picture-in-picture thing Japanese variety TV shows do. It lets us people watching TV get to watch people who are watching TV. Only the Japanese could come up with something so innovative and cutting-edge.
Touts don’t invite us Gaijin into whorehouses. People say it’s because of the language barrier and STD fear, but I bet it’s because if they did let us in, the whores would retire. The same way Michael Jordan retired after winning the championship-with a destroyed vaginal area.
A lot of Japanese men seem to drink alcohol everyday. I asked them if they thought they might be alcoholic. They said they only drank to take away the constant misery and depression. Well, as long as they’ve set realistic goals for themselves, I see no problem.
In America, an octopus is a slimy creature of the sea. In Japan, it’s a delicious treat. To some, it’s a penis-ripping oral sex maneuver. This is what they call “cultural differences.”
I wonder how many geeks have built Gundams in their basement? Like, they’re waiting for the day Godzilla shows up so they can hop in their Gundams and defend Tokyo. Boy, will those guys be surprised when the first wave of hedgehogs make their brutal strike.
Sometimes, I just want to walk around completely naked. They’re already looking at me, but at least this way I get to keep cool in the summer.
One day, I want to stand in front of a love hotel, and as a young couple goes to enter, step forward and say, “Hey, want an upgrade?” I bet me and the guy would have a lot of fun with the free PlayStation in the room.
If American men lust after Japanese women, and Japanese men think American women are beautiful…then who’s lusting after the Spanish? I smell untapped potential here.
I was riding on my bicycle one day when the police stopped me. Angry, I said, “You’re only stopping me because I’m a Gaijin, aren’t you!” At that point, my bicycle begged the police to help her, and then I had to run away.
Me and Takeshi were standing on the old bridge over the river. I turned to him and said, “If I jumped off this bridge right now, would you jump off too?” Takeshi gave me a strange look and said no, he wouldn’t. That’s when I pushed him off, because clearly he was an impostor Japanese planning to eat my brains when I let my guard down.
Part of the AV (adult video) industry in Japan includes idol DVD’s–videos of a girl who does nothing more than frolic around at the beach or in her apartment in a swimsuit or her underwear. I used to think this was the stupidest thing ever, but then I realized that it’s actually quite genius if you are a Japanese girl. I wish I had been born a big-tittied Japanese girl. Then people would pay me to not have sex and not even be naked on camera.
Also, idol DVD’s have taught me that Japanese girls really enjoy rolling around in their rooms in their bra and panties. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one.
I used to think that Japan was this magical place of cultural diversity, acceptance, and friendly, helpful people. Then I realized that I forgot to get on the plane.
A tiny fish swims upstream and then gets eaten by a bigger fish. The bigger fish swims further upstream and gets caught by a Japanese salaryman. The salaryman goes to work and gets chewed out by the company president. The president comes home to find me fucking his wife. There’s always a bigger fish.
Japanese people think that having pink nipples means you’re sexually inexperienced. Obviously that’s not true, because we all know what huge sluts those albinos are.
Because Japan’s 17 hours ahead of California, when I talk to my friends over the internet, it’s like talking to the past. Yet, they never heed my warnings.
When a 14 year-old Japanese girl offers to trade sex if you buy her a Louis Vuitton bag, the only thing you can ask is, “What size would you like?”
The art of hitting on chicks in Japan is called “nampa” in Japanese. The concept of copping an unwanted feel on a woman is called “chikan.” The idea of an older salaryman dating a young girl (often high school, sometimes junior high!) for sex in exchange for money and gifts is called “enjo kosai.” I tried looking up “ladies first” in my Japanese dictionary, but it gave me back “ladies first” in English.
In Japan, girly, effiminate men are considered to be manly, while buff, burly guys are considered to be gay. You might think this means that cute, girly girls are then lesbians, while boyish, tomboys are straight. But that’s not the case at all. Everyone in Japan is a lesbian, except for gay men who are straight.

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96 Responses

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  1. Bast said, on June 12, 2007 at 4:27 am

    And of course, this was bound to happen. Az cracked.

  2. inurlled said, on June 12, 2007 at 4:54 am

    Az-sama`s girlfrend is messing with his blog.I say sex punishment! And post pics…

  3. ETJ said, on June 12, 2007 at 5:44 am

    Are you drunk?

  4. Andrew said, on June 12, 2007 at 6:31 am

    Az, get some sleep. This looks like something I’d write if I were awake for 36+ consecutive hours. Still amusing, though.

  5. Jay said, on June 12, 2007 at 6:42 am

    Most of those are actually pretty good Like this one:
    “If American men lust after Japanese women, and Japanese men think American women are beautiful…then who’s lusting after the Spanish? I smell untapped potential here.”
    I smell signature potential. 😀
    Most excellent, Az.

  6. Poop said, on June 12, 2007 at 6:54 am

    Nah, lad-humour doesn’t suit you. Though the bra and panties line made me laugh.

  7. open_sketchbook said, on June 12, 2007 at 6:55 am

    I love articles like this.

  8. Rob said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:00 am

    Really funny… thanks.

  9. LoR said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:49 am

    It’s like Az channeled the spirits of three different short-joke comedians.

  10. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:56 am

    keep writing! people need to hear this.

  11. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:56 am

    keep writing! people need to hear this.

  12. Dave Worley said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:06 am

    What the fuck happened there!?
    Some interesting insights 😛

  13. code monkey said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:20 am

    I emphatize…the longest I was in Japan (because of work…overtime and it was winter!) was six weeks and I was bonkers. Can you just imagine what years is doing to Az?!?

  14. Eclipse said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:35 am

    AZ, calm down. It will be ok. We’re your friends and we’re here to help. Take deep breath and go play Street Fighter Anniversary Edition for about 3 hours and call us in the morning. If that doesn’t work, heed my words in reminding you that the new Transformers movie comes out next month. There, now doesn’t it feel all better?
    Zero

  15. eL Thorsen said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Alright people, own up: Who broke Az?

  16. TeraByte said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:50 am

    After his post on cosplay, I’m not surprised that Az cracked.

  17. BrianfromNazareth said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:02 am

    YOu wanted to shoot him with Glock? And I thought black americans carry 357’s 🙂

  18. Anonymouse said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:08 am

    That was awesome.

  19. Tom said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:08 am

    They should give you a day off.

  20. Nidoking said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:21 am

    Am I the only one here who’s familiar with Jack Handey’s “Deep Thoughts” as featured in books as well as Saturday Night Live? This is how we know Jack Handey’s never been to Japan… because we’d have heard these things sooner.

  21. El-Ahrairah said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Man, teeth or nails? Which made the injury? Wouldn’t hurt giving us that much.
    (Az’s Note: Neither.)

  22. Az's Penis said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:30 am

    I agree. SEX PUNISHMENT!

  23. Sekani said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:44 am

    “I met a Japanese man once who asked me how many guns I had. I told him I didn’t have any, but he insisted that I did because I was American, and that I was lying about it because I was black. I was so mad over being stereotyped like that, that I shot him with my glock.”
    Hahaha, nice. Now I need a similarly smart-assed response for the next time someone asks me if I’m a basketball player. Yes, there are 6-foot-2 black men in the world with no basketball skills. Hard to believe, isn’t it?

  24. Zantetsu said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:46 am

    Short, to the point, insightful.
    The last one is what I agree with most considering I’m anything but girly which would make Japanese girls think I’m gay… I mean, what?
    When I discovered the AV part I was quite disappointed… Where was the skin? The humping? The white showers? Cultural diversity indeed for pron.
    It’s a different format than you usually post but it’s good nonetheless.

  25. Kohaku said, on June 12, 2007 at 9:53 am

    The sad thing is once you come to Japan, you have these SAME thoughts…omg…
    “I met a Japanese man once who asked me how many guns I had. I told him I didn’t have any, but he insisted that I did because I was American, and that I was lying about it because I was black. I was so mad over being stereotyped like that, that I shot him with my glock.”
    Died laughing at this one…do you know HOW MANY TIMES my students and friends have asked me about it???? I got asked “what gang are you in?” TODAY! So of course I told them I was a Blood and my gang was going to take over Japan…..
    “In Japan, girly, effiminate men are considered to be manly, while buff, burly guys are considered to be gay. You might think this means that cute, girly girls are then lesbians, while boyish, tomboys are straight. But that’s not the case at all. Everyone in Japan is a lesbian, except for gay men who are straight.”
    SOOO TRUE!!All Japanese women love breasts!!!Actually everyone in Japan does, but the women ARENT AFRAID of them!

  26. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:09 am

    He’s lost it. I knew he would. That much moonspeak can cause a man to go truly, utterly insane.
    That’s it. We’re comin’ for you, brother, just hold on!

  27. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:09 am

    He’s lost it. I knew he would. That much moonspeak can cause a man to go truly, utterly insane.
    That’s it. We’re comin’ for you, brother, just hold on!

  28. joha said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:25 am

    So Az, you too enjoy rolling around your room in your panties and bra? 🙂

  29. Gordon said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:26 am

    This was weird! It kind of reminds me of Drinking For Two.
    Hey, I guess it’d be kinda cool if these random little sentences / paragraphs appeared on non-article days, like on wednesdays and saturdays or somethin’.

  30. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:37 am

    So it IS oral!

  31. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:37 am

    So it IS oral!

  32. Crosse said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:52 am

    Az your sanity has finally been broken I think you need some time in your bed rolling around trying to get that sanity back

  33. flpdm said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:05 am

    Yeah, trying to create a bit of diversity on the archives is cracking, right Bast?
    Why don’t you just tell him which one of his stories is your favorite, so he can post it over and over again? Would that make you happy? He could even change a word or two in order to keep it fresh.

  34. Brandon said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:11 am

    Amusing, but are you feeling alright, Az?

  35. Jay said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:23 am

    +1 for az turning japanese.. err, goin nuts.
    dude, take a break and do a gaijin “hadookin” on those school kids. specially the ones that sit in the hall and finger fuck each other.

  36. jay said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:24 am

    +1 for az turning japanese.. err, goin nuts.
    dude, take a break and do a gaijin “hadookin” on those school kids. specially the ones that sit in the hall and finger fuck each other up the ass.

  37. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:34 am

    Jack Handy is some fantastic stuff. Gracias.

  38. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:34 am

    Jack Handy is some fantastic stuff. Gracias.

  39. Sal_Bass said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:43 am

    What the hell is this, are you high or something?

  40. Xycken said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:46 am

    “YOu wanted to shoot him with Glock? And I thought black americans carry 357’s :-)”
    Perhaps he has a Glock 31 (chambered for .357 SIG)? =)

  41. that one said, on June 12, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    “Also, idol DVD’s have taught me that Japanese girls really enjoy rolling around in their rooms in their bra and panties. …I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one.”
    xD I do that too.

  42. Curtis Cage said, on June 12, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Az, you’ve cracked big time G and it’s easy to see.
    But on the real bro, I laughed as I read every row.
    I feel your pains when you’re trying to let everyone know it’s different to live in japan.
    Being black on top of that it’s something we’ll never understand.
    It’s alright, you still got your fans! keep those posts coming about that crazy ass land.
    And when a 14 year old peeps you for a bag, buy it and then tap her after you wrap with a mag!
    Cause as my daddy would say as he stands tall,
    If theres grass in the field .. lets play ball!
    The illest 4 letter word in the world is C-A-G-E!

  43. tideman said, on June 12, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    This was not up to your usual standards, still not bad though.
    I think you may need a vacation.

  44. Dave D. said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    See, stuff like this is golden, we need more of insane-Az hehehe.
    Cheers dude
    -D

  45. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    i lol’d

  46. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    i lol’d

  47. Sarah said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:52 pm


    I’ll send some postive thoughts in your direction, ‘kay? I think you need them at this point. Perhaps it’s time to come home and regain your sanity for a bit…?

  48. マッキー said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    どんだけー

  49. Crabjesus said, on June 12, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    Have you been smoking some crack up behind your ears again, Az?

  50. Crowley said, on June 12, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    ~~If they ever got into a fight over a man, they could have a shootout at the Okei Corral.~~
    Absolute 100% genius.

  51. Justanothermom said, on June 12, 2007 at 2:28 pm

    Umm….yeah. The Jack Handy thing doesn’t work in written form, like it does when spoken in a stand-up routine. No idea what the tonal inflections should be in the written form.
    Your writing is much better when you do a few paragraphs or sentences on a random subject, then move on; or when you give a full article about something that is happening/has happened in your school teacher experience. Even so, we should all give you credit for trying to broaden your literary horizons.
    Keep writing & keep stretching; you might find yet another literary form that you excel in, as you do the ones mentioned above.

  52. Sindian said, on June 12, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    Simply brilliant. I kept going down the list thinking there’s no way you can maintain the funny, yet you did. Like a black man ordering steak, well done.

  53. Prodigal Priest said, on June 12, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Az, these sound weirdly like the thoughts I have when I’m in the dark because of a blackout. Ya know…. just sitting there letting your mind wander? Mmm….. just like that, but Japanese-flavored.
    I wonder if thinking like this kept me from the good jobs? o_0
    Sounds like you’re having a rough week, kemosabe. Hang in there :).

  54. Ruela said, on June 12, 2007 at 4:09 pm

    Is everything alright with you, Az? We’re worried!
    Maybe all these one-liners are some kind of inside joke I didn’t get. God, I hope so.

  55. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    See, this is why JET ALTs usually go over with no Japanese at all – the language barrier is a gaijin safety precaution! It’s like the safety switch on a gun!

  56. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    See, this is why JET ALTs usually go over with no Japanese at all – the language barrier is a gaijin safety precaution! It’s like the safety switch on a gun!

  57. Nick said, on June 12, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    “Japanese people think that having pink nipples means you’re sexually inexperienced. Obviously that’s not true, because we all know what huge sluts those albinos are.”
    In my head, I could hear “Jack Handy’s” voice reading that one out. Funny stuff.

  58. rubbav1 said, on June 12, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    this just called just my talents
    “there’s always a bigger fish”

  59. Jose said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    Steven Wright anyone?

  60. Ihmhi said, on June 12, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    That was an awesome picture.
    Az, question on the futon front (possibly one of the few sane things in this blog post). I am 6’4″ (193cm) and weigh about 280 lbs. (~127 kg). I do not know about your weight, but you said you are a pretty big guy yourself and 6’3″ or so. What I wanted to ask is:
    1) Is it remotely possible for me to find a comfortable futon for myself?
    2) Do you sleep on a Japanese futon?
    3) Are you comfortable on it?
    4) I do not intend this to be like a stalker-ish question like asking what you sleep on, but since we are of similar heights and somewhat close weights (I imagine), are there any recommendations you can make for a comfortable futon for someone my size?
    If you want to answer via e-mail or something that is fine, but I am curious on this front (as I am sure several other tall, large framed men are) and would love to see your answers here. Plus, hey, some futon importer could stamp his specific product “Japanese tested, Gaijin approved!” hehe…

  61. DunnDeegan said, on June 12, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    “People keep wanting Japan to apologize for all the atrocities they’ve committed, but honestly, I don’t think Pokemon was all that bad.”
    That was awesome.
    But seriously Az, quit your job and find a new school or something. That school will just ruin your entire experience in Japan for the duration of your contract.

  62. Defectron said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    >>Az your sanity has finally been broken I think you need some time in your bed rolling around trying to get that sanity back
    You mean rolling around in his bra and panties?

  63. asd said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    permalink on the main page is broken, by the way.

  64. asd said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    did this turn into a Tumblog?

  65. Neil said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:18 pm

    First 2-3 comments summed it up for me.

  66. Poopo said, on June 12, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    Hey about that staying white thing what about ganguro girls? Aren’t they the very opposite of this.

  67. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    Ganguro are in the minority.

  68. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    Ganguro are in the minority.

  69. Doomsought said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    Sarge:”All right marines, this is a rescue mission. Grab him and evac. Don’t leave sight of the pelacans and get him strait to the medic.”

  70. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    Wow Az … you’re now a hentai star, right up there with all the other high quality porn mangas.
    (By the way, the bigger fish in this scenario would likely be the Bobbitt-fish the president sets on your loins)

  71. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    Wow Az … you’re now a hentai star, right up there with all the other high quality porn mangas.
    (By the way, the bigger fish in this scenario would likely be the Bobbitt-fish the president sets on your loins)

  72. lawl said, on June 13, 2007 at 12:33 am

    some of you guys have the worst taste in humor this is quality shit.
    Az good to see your writing is not only limited to the traditional style of Az-esque material, but also maturing as well.

  73. Hikari said, on June 13, 2007 at 1:10 am

    The last one was fantastic! I laughed out loud because it’s so true 😄 Great post!

  74. inurl said, on June 13, 2007 at 4:11 am

    Come to think of it Az – it`s your Ex that will always be the biggest fish. No matter what you do in your remaining life – Bitch defines chronological order!
    PS – It was her hair wasn`t it – like when you get paper-cut only the skin on the penis is much-much more vulnerable.
    The Octopus was her wrapping her long asian hair around you`r… er thing. It`s quite anti-climatic realy – I tried to think of a possible foreign object she might have used but all was levels beyond perverted and insanely dangerous too.
    She just gathered it in a few locks so it looks like tentacles stretching from her head. The rest of the story – she pulled a bit harder and it cut you.
    Then again it`s your spam filter man. I`m not gonna go any further anyways. 🙂

  75. Anonymous said, on June 13, 2007 at 4:38 am

    Agreed with “lawl,” some of you guys who don’t understand this post seem to be…missing something.
    -TS

  76. Anonymous said, on June 13, 2007 at 4:38 am

    Agreed with “lawl,” some of you guys who don’t understand this post seem to be…missing something.
    -TS

  77. Travis said, on June 13, 2007 at 5:55 am

    “then who’s lusting after the Spanish?”
    I like to think I have this area covered. I loves me some Spanish womens.

  78. Anonymous said, on June 13, 2007 at 9:02 am

    … wait. i don’t understand why previous commenters think that Az is cracking.
    ???

  79. Anonymous said, on June 13, 2007 at 9:02 am

    … wait. i don’t understand why previous commenters think that Az is cracking.
    ???

  80. Colin said, on June 13, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    Have none of you ever seen Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy? I mean, come on, now. These are actually pretty good.

  81. Megan said, on June 13, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    “Because Japan’s 17 hours ahead of California, when I talk to my friends over the internet, it’s like talking to the past. Yet, they never heed my warnings.”
    BWAH! That last line was absolutely brilliant! I love it!
    Nice change of pace. I can picture you sitting there, bored, trying to come up with one liners. 🙂

  82. Shinkada said, on June 14, 2007 at 7:27 pm

    Quite possibly your best entry ever.
    “In Japan, girly, effiminate men are considered to be manly, while buff, burly guys are considered to be gay. You might think this means that cute, girly girls are then lesbians, while boyish, tomboys are straight. But that’s not the case at all. Everyone in Japan is a lesbian, except for gay men who are straight.”
    I haven’t heard anything that brilliant in a long, long while.

  83. Tyra said, on June 19, 2007 at 9:17 am

    LMAO! I loved this one, story of my life 😛
    I love the koncho one, I forgot that it actually wasn’t okay to say this back home.
    Me:”So this kid koncho-ed me so I picked him up with his butt facing outward held his legs down and encouraged all the other kids to koncho him as I koncho-ed him right back”
    Friends:”dude….did you just tell me how to anal-y penetrate a small boy?”
    me:”….ah…..yea”

  84. j said, on June 21, 2007 at 6:23 am

    its like Drinking For Two in japan. ace.

  85. Xin said, on June 24, 2007 at 8:28 am

    Az, you’re right. It’s actually pretty hilarious how many people think you’ve cracked. Great stuff.

  86. Nate said, on June 27, 2007 at 1:23 am

    Boy. I’ve read a lot of your articles in my day. Nearly all of them, in fact. It’s a rare day when you just give us random musings and I quite enjoy it. They’re all rather good points, and I find myself reminded of Mitch Hedberg.
    🙂 Keep it up.

  87. Anonymous said, on July 1, 2007 at 7:05 am

    “Rape Blossoms” HA!

  88. Anonymous said, on July 1, 2007 at 7:05 am

    “Rape Blossoms” HA!

  89. Cho-Gaijin said, on August 8, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Gotta love the last two, there!
    None the less, you do sound like you’ve been up 63 hours straight, in which time gave your mind time to crack, spewing what was left of your american heritage onto a single sheet of paper, which you use to add american spice into your posts.
    Kokujin gaijin R We!

  90. Anonymous said, on September 11, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    oh no! Az gets real for a second and everyone starts freaking out. you’ve cracked? no, but when you don’t sugar-coat everything the otaku’s whine. Go to japan. This is all true, insighful stuff. Just because it points out the negative aspects of japanese culture doesn’t mean the guy is losing it. It’s actually pretty funny. Chill Out.

  91. Anonymous said, on September 11, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    oh no! Az gets real for a second and everyone starts freaking out. you’ve cracked? no, but when you don’t sugar-coat everything the otaku’s whine. Go to japan. This is all true, insighful stuff. Just because it points out the negative aspects of japanese culture doesn’t mean the guy is losing it. It’s actually pretty funny. Chill Out.

  92. bruno braga said, on September 26, 2007 at 6:56 am

    have you given a thought that maybe oyakodon does nof mean bowl “of” father and son, but “for” father and son? Just a thought…

  93. Ceri Cat said, on September 28, 2007 at 2:48 am

    Az’s girlfriend wrote that? *chuckles* I don’t think her English is anywhere near that good yet. Looks like Az is finally losing it though.

  94. Yamil M. said, on December 9, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Nice Franz Ferdinand ref.

  95. Cameron said, on August 9, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    “If American men lust after Japanese women, and Japanese men think American women are beautiful…then who’s lusting after the Spanish? I smell untapped potential here.”
    This is a pretty stark illustration of how similar growing up one of the most metropolitan cities in the world can be absolutely no different from growing up under a bucket in the Ozarks…did you have NOT a single clue about the Mexicans a couple hundred clicks southward? Brazilians? Cubans? Puerto Ricans? You like breast and booty and you didn’t notice them right there?
    Of course the closer you get to the border the better they look, and that stops right there at the border; the best you find are the ones who got the hell out. Same case in point could be made for the Pacific border; I don’t find Asians generally attractive for the same reasons as you, but when I went to San Fran, there was an unbelievable concentration of them who were hot as hell. Ahem…those are the ones who got out.
    My point is that the potential is being tapped by people who live half a continent to a full continent plus an ocean or two away from where you lived, but it could’ve been tapped by you at any time. Grass is always greener?

  96. NeN said, on September 17, 2008 at 2:50 am

    What kind of monster can orally tear a penis without the aid of teeth OR nails?


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