Gaijin Smash

Random Select II

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on May 29, 2007

…Was there already a “Random Select II”? I’m too lazy to check. If there was, then just consider this “Random Select Reloaded” or “Random Select Continues” or “Random Select 2.5 Vista,” whatever the cool numbering convention is these days.
***
I mentioned a while back in an editorial the Japanese basketball player who had a brief stint in the NBA. He got his own commercial in Japan, for a sports drink. He gets checked hard into the scoring table, takes a big swig of the drink, powers up, and then gets the ball, and with a gleam in his eye…passes to his superior black teammate for an alley-oop. At the time, I thought that was fucked up–it’s your own sports commercial, and the best you can do is give it to the black man? Shafted.
Well, the guy’s got a new commercial. I wondered if, this time, he would get to actually do something. Well, after getting constantly blocked out, he takes a big swig of the sports drink….and then blows by two defenders to dribble down-count. And that’s it. No incredible 3-point shot, not even an alley-oop to the big black man this time. He just…dribbles down court. This is the saddest fucking thing, ever. It’s your own sports commercial, and the best you can do is do something that every other basketball player can do. Had this been an American commercial, the player probably would have dunked all over some poor defender. And then slept with the defending player’s wife on the way down from the rim or something.
Here you go Japanese kiddies, drink this! It’ll let you compete with the rest of the world, because as you are, you are made of nothing but fail….Yep, that sounds about right.
***
I was coming back from a class with Ms. Grinch when suddenly our path was obstructed. By what, you ask? A 19th century feudal army, having traveled back through time? A large oxen? Jenny McCarthy’s disembodied fake tits? No, something far more absurd. At least twenty Japanese boys, laying on the floor, all of them spooning one another. Some of them, I guess unable to find a spooning partner, were just kicking back on top of the whole pile.
Ms. Grinch turns to me. “Well. This is quite gay, isn’t it?”
FUCKIN’A, I’M GLAD *SOMEONE* FINALLY SAID IT!
Many of us Gaijin Teachers are initially surprised by how…touchy-feely Japanese boys are with one another. Granted, I am American, so I may not have the best perspective on the matter. In America, any male-to-male contact that is not in the context of fighting, a high-five/ass slap during a sports game, or a drunken “I love you man!” NO HOMO HUG, is gay. So I dunno, maybe it’s the American background coming into play here, but I’m just not used to seeing boys sit on each others’ laps, hold hands, grab each others’ penises, and especially, over twenty of them spooning in the middle of Brokeback Hallway.
…And I’m from San Francisco!
Yet, we Gaijin Teachers seem to be the only ones weirded out by it. Other Japanese teachers will just be like, “Oh, boys…” and never think about it again. So I felt justified to finally have ONE Japanese teacher finally acknowledge how frickin’ weird this is, even if it was Ms. Grinch.
Ms. Grinch brings her concerns to the boys.
Ms. G: Well. This is rather gay of you.
Boy 1: What? What’s gay?
Ms. G: All of you sitting here like this.
Boy 2: This isn’t gay!
Boy 3: We’re just relaxing between classes.
Boy 1: We all get along really well.
Boy 4: Why do you want to destroy such beautiful friendships.
Ms. G: …Whatever. Gay. At least get out of the way.
Boy 1: We don’t wanna move.
Boy 2: Yeah, it’s nice here.
Boy 3: You just wish you could be lying in a hallway full of boys, don’t you?
Ms. Grinch gives me one of those “Oy vey” looks, and says, “I guess we have no choice but to step over them.” Almost merrily, she says “Over the Gay!” as she takes a mighty step over the boy pile. I too had to step over the boys, minus any flowery words regarding it. As we were heading back to the teachers room, Ms. Grinch turns to me again. “I’m sorry about that, Japanese boys can be quite…peculiar.”
…Sister, you don’t know the half of it.


***
Okay, so I can’t draw for shit. If you were to put a gun to my head and command me to draw something decent or else, just pull the trigger and save us both some time. My stick figures suffer from anorexia. I once tried to draw Santa Claus on the blackboard…I can’t tell you how this happened, but the end result looked nothing like Old St. Nick. No, the end result was a smiling Frenchman who had rabies. And anorexia. The students literally laughed at this for twenty minutes. “Oh my GOD! That’s not even human! Az-sensei, you are the worst artist EVER!” It became somewhat of a running joke in that class, with students occasionally drawing the Rabid Frenchman Santa Claus on any handouts they knew I’d been taking a look at. The teacher would get in on it too sometimes, and ask me to draw something on the board for the specific purpose of laughing at it. “Okay class, how many of you think that this is exchange student Demi, from the textbooks? Okay, how many of you think it’s a microwave oven? Okay, about half and half…”
Despite my crippling artistic handicap, one day I came up with a game for the ichinensei that would involve me drawing pictures again. Taking the idea from a Japanese variety TV show, I would have the students go shopping at a dollar store. There would be a number of items for them to choose from. However, hidden within the items would be several “high quality” items that cost significantly more than a dollar. The students wouldn’t know which items were “high quality” until they actually committed to buying them. I’d give the students money at the beginning of the class, and they had to take turns picking and buying items. Whichever group had the most money left at the end would win.
Of course, to do this game, I’d need the store items. I didn’t particularly want to carry around a bag of goodies (I’m not Santa, rabid, French, or otherwise), nor did I really want to shell out the cash to buy them. The easiest method would be to draw items on some poster cards, which is where we come back to my artistic handicap. However, if I REALLY put my mind to it, focus all my energies, and call upon the mystical powers of the Green Mega Dragonzord, I can actually spit out something halfway decent from time to time. This time, I pulled out my best color pencils (ironically enough, bought from a dollar store), put aside all possible distractions, and after a few toots on the Dragon Dagger flute, I drew some decent merchandise pictures. Immensely proud of myself, I carted my pictures off to the ichinensei classes, where even the students were forced to admit that the drawings were pretty good.
…Except for one overly-perceptive kid.
As we were playing the game, his group was debating over which item to buy next. The boy was making a very strong push for the bicycle. When asked why, he offered the following explanation, “Well, just look at it! Doesn’t it just look cheap? And c’mon, it doesn’t even have pedals!”
I checked my drawing, and sure enough, the kid was right–I’d forgotten to draw pedals.
The kid isn’t done yet. “I mean, you can’t honestly charge more than a dollar for a bike with no pedals, right? What are you supposed to do, only ride it downhill? Kick-push it like a skateboard? Seriously, that’s a fundamental design flaw right there.” His passionate arguments are enough to win his group over, who decide to buy the bike….Which ends up being one of my “high-quality” items.
As you can imagine, that didn’t go too well.
Group: Hey, you said the bike was cheap!
Boy: Well, how was I supposed to know? It has no pedals! (to me) Why is this bike so expensive, when it has no pedals!
Me: It doesn’t need ’em. It runs on the POWER OF YOUR MIND.
Boy: ….Now that’s a bunch of shit if I’ve ever heard it. We should have bought the comic books. At least you can READ those. What are we supposed to do with a bike with NO PEDALS? Sit on it? Look uphill and think, “Man, if only I had pedals, I could totally ride up this hill…”? Now we’re stuck with a chair with wheels and it only cost us a few hundred dollars.
I hope Rabid Frenchman Santa brings him a pedal-less bike for Christmas.

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70 Responses

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  1. Dave D. said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:26 am

    Wow, that is one messed up way to start the week; a hallway full of spooning japanese boys. Ewww…. an wow to mr. overly perceptive, what freakin’ died up his butt? It’s a friggin’ game kid! Ugh…

  2. Gennai said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:38 am

    ***
    ….because as you are you are made of nothing but fail. …Yep, that sounds about right.
    ***
    Had to read this a few times to understand it…still didn’t.
    ***
    Of course, do to this game, I’d need the store items.
    ***
    “To do”
    Funny article Az, but I just can’t wrap my mind around the concept of boys wanking each other off in the school hallway.

  3. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:39 am

    The whole gay boys thing probably comes down to the lack of double standard with regard to this kind of thing. Japanese girls can be touchy-feely with each other as well, can’t they? I seem to remember a gum commercial that involved one uniformed schoolgirl playfully grabbing another’s tits like it was totally normal.

  4. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:39 am

    The whole gay boys thing probably comes down to the lack of double standard with regard to this kind of thing. Japanese girls can be touchy-feely with each other as well, can’t they? I seem to remember a gum commercial that involved one uniformed schoolgirl playfully grabbing another’s tits like it was totally normal.

  5. saiyanid said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:41 am

    Haha omg Az I loved the green power ranger reference. I can’t wait for your book.

  6. Veinor said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:59 am

    Ah, sweet, sweet karma.

  7. Rob said, on May 29, 2007 at 1:19 am

    I used to go use the gym at a HS where my wife was an ALT. The kids, the jocks, the athletes, the boys… all would be laying on top of one another, massaging each other… for the USA western mind, it definitely took some getting used to. Just different.

  8. Usagi said, on May 29, 2007 at 1:41 am

    Just out of curiosity, how can someone look like a Frenchman? I’m French (although not rabid, nor a man, nor anorexic, and I’m not Santa Claus either) and I have to admit I have no idea why we’d look different from anyone else (except that we have very few asian-looking people compared to Japan, but so does the rest of Europe, and so do the Americas).
    Anyway… A bicycle? If it can make you feel better, as someone who actually does draw, I can tell you that drawing a working bicycles is one of the hardest things to do.
    Smart kid, though. With some sense of observation. But I think he missed the point of the game. Next time, maybe you should dry getting picture from magazines instead of drawing them? No offense intended.

  9. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Your stories get me every time. I truly appreciate them. Love the Green Dragon reference (although the Blue Ranger will forever be my favorite….yeah).
    Bad drawings ehh…?
    Looks like you’ve got some Bleach mixed in with your Naruto now.

  10. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Your stories get me every time. I truly appreciate them. Love the Green Dragon reference (although the Blue Ranger will forever be my favorite….yeah).
    Bad drawings ehh…?
    Looks like you’ve got some Bleach mixed in with your Naruto now.

  11. Shinkada said, on May 29, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Kudos on the old, old power rangers reference. Man, that brought back some memories of primary school. XD “Well. This is quite gay, isn’t it?” This new school seems to be full of funny kids. His argument about the pedalless bike was just freaking funny. Did he really word it like that?

  12. Barry said, on May 29, 2007 at 2:28 am

    The reason they ended the commercial right there is probably because he chugs the sports drink, blows past the defenders into the lane, and then airballs it over the backboard.

  13. Jonathan Pace said, on May 29, 2007 at 2:54 am

    Yeh I have to ask did he realy word it like that? Because if so that’s just the funniest thing ever.

  14. Kyle E said, on May 29, 2007 at 3:03 am

    “What are we supposed to do with a bike with NO PEDALS? Sit on it? Look uphill and think, “Man, if only I had pedals, I could totally ride up this hill…”? Now we’re stuck with a chair with wheels and it only cost us a few hundred dollars.”
    that cracks me up. and spooning boys… riiight but I like how Ms.G. (MSG lol) made fun of em “Over the Gay!”

  15. nescire said, on May 29, 2007 at 4:04 am

    “Just out of curiosity, how can someone look like a Frenchman?”
    I was wondering about that too.
    Come on Az, summon all your artistic talents (or lack thereof) and redraw the Rabid Frenchman Santa for us. We demand pictures!

  16. JH from Finland said, on May 29, 2007 at 4:26 am

    The “nothing but fail” bit is yet another 4chan-reference. Short guide to 4chan lingo featured on the site so far:
    Fail/Win: Used to signal general disproval/acceptance. Most common uses include using the word by itself to comment on the whole of something, or more specifically with the “is made of” structure: “GaijinSmash is made of pure win!”
    Pedobear: The patron saint of molesting young girls, and all things CP in general. Catch phrase: “Pedobear approves!” See also: Shotacat, the patron saint of molesting young boys.

  17. Shamie said, on May 29, 2007 at 4:58 am

    Wait…. Japanese boys are touchy with one another? Hold hands? Hug? Thanks for the warning….. I would have gone into shock or something. Maybe Naruto yaoi fangirls weren’t too far off, which is a sad thought.

  18. Chris said, on May 29, 2007 at 5:09 am

    A Frenchman would probably have a thin curly moustache, a beret, and a baguette. He’d probably also be smoking a cigarette and have his nose raised slightly so as to be looking down on you.

  19. Everard said, on May 29, 2007 at 6:44 am

    I will forever love you and your street fighter/power rangers/geek references.

  20. Anon said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Those commercials are weird, but not as weird as some commercials I saw when I went to Japan 2 years ago.
    There was this line of car commercials that made fun of the usual car commercial tropes. They pretty much subverted the ideas. One had a Pizza delivery guy functioning the turntable while this aria-ish song is going on. The other is more clever, showing the car with a light, revealing a guy is doing it in his garage, and his wife has this look from the doorway saying “Go to bed.” All with an aria-ish song, I forgot if it was the same one or different.
    I hope you saw it too.
    And for anorexic french santa, I swear I watched a special on Epcot’s holidays around the world and the French St. Nick in question was indeed anorexic.
    Also, I don’t mind anorexic stick figures. At least you can do something with them compared to the blob people everyone in my school except the artists (and to some extent I) could do. I wish they’d go back to stick figures. At least you could tell what they are supposed to be.

  21. Kohaku said, on May 29, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    Great as always Az! Yellow and Black were my favorite rangers…but there was something hot about Tommy and his long hair ….til he started dating the overly felxible pink ranger (who pissed me off cause half the damn time she was helpless!!!) Ok…enough of my power ranger complaining.
    Yeah, I’ll NEVER understand the whole boys touching each other stuff. Its sad when you’re spending part of a class telling the boys to STOP grabbing each others’ dicks or putting their fingers in each others asses. *shudders* I doubt I’ll EVER fully get used to it. As far as the girls, I rarely see the school girls touching each other….but the women/girls have NO problem going after gaijin tits……(I DID manage to watch a woman walk into a wall in the bathhouse because she was too busy staring…ha ha ha!!!)
    The over-observant boy is hilarious. I wanna see the posters!!!

  22. Kelly said, on May 29, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    In America, that kid’s ass would of been out of that classroom faster than he can ride that bike down the hill.

  23. Bret said, on May 29, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    One ox. Two oxen.

  24. polemon said, on May 29, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    This boy that scrutinizes that pedal issue, needs a decent nickname, for great justice!

  25. Prodigal Priest said, on May 29, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    Ms Grinch actually said something which made -perfect sense-?!? O_O Just a sec….
    ********
    Sorry, back now. I had to call Satan just to make sure he didn’t need some rock salt. Wow… outstanding 😀
    I’m guesing this will eventually become fodder for some aspiring young mangaka at that school for their maiden voyage into Yaoi or Shounen-ai xD.
    Peace, Az 🙂

  26. Kerii-chan said, on May 29, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    ….I so very much wish I could have seen the Brokeback Hallway scene. I probably would have died of bloodloss after having a nosebleed *yaoi fangirling, though this counts more as BL/shounenai, but still cute ^^* Oi oi, next time there’s an extremely gay moment, take a picture, pretty please? ^^

  27. Aangfish said, on May 29, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    Brokeback Hallway and “Over the Gay!” cracked me up. And Rabid Frenchman Santa sounds amazing. You seriously need to show us that.

  28. Wayland said, on May 29, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    That kid owned your a$$, Az. He was funnier than your whole post : D

  29. GringoDownSouth said, on May 29, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    Awesome post, as always Az. You have helped inspire me to create my own blog about how crazy other countries are when compared to our own. Too bad Ecuador is really tame next to Japan hehe.
    Az, when are you going to team up with Kohaku? I think a large black man and a large-breasted woman would be the ultimate Gaijin Smash Combo! Fear and awe would overcome the people of that land.

  30. Patrick said, on May 29, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    The Green Ranger is my all-time fav. He kicked so much ass, until they pussified him as the White Ranger. He got some of it back as the Black Dino Ranger, though.
    I think, maybe, Ms G is going to be fun after all, if you can get around the temper.
    As for the boys touching… Yeah, that’s weird as hell. Now, if it was the girls, then I’d be interested.
    What? I’m a guy.

  31. El-Ahrairah said, on May 29, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    Careful Az, your “chan” is showing.

  32. DunnDeegan said, on May 29, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    Ok. No nightmare co-teacher I’ve ever worked with has said anything remotely even close to as funny as what the grinch said. I’m starting to like her.

  33. Brian said, on May 29, 2007 at 9:36 pm

    The bike kid is quite possibly the coolest kid in existence. Because I too would also point out the inane details of an obviously non-accurate drawing just for kicks.
    Although I love that he convinced his group that the bike was the right choice based solely off of his observations.

  34. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    Thanks for the game idea, Az, I will use it with my students.

  35. Anonymous said, on May 29, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    Thanks for the game idea, Az, I will use it with my students.

  36. Deranged Doctor said, on May 30, 2007 at 1:58 am

    Actually, you tell the kid that road bikes (the real, Tour de France racing kind) NEVER come with pedals. The idea is that you can choose your own pedal system for clipping in. So the cheap roadies (er, $1000 Canadian or less) come with cheap junk pedals… the real goods come with nothing. You buy your own separately.
    So he’s lucky to have gotten away with only paying a few hundred.

  37. DunnDeegan said, on May 30, 2007 at 3:06 am

    Deranged Doctor,
    Your right. However, If Az is as artistically inclined as I am, he probably forgot to draw the cranks in as well. The kid would have nothing to attach the egg beaters to the bike with. 😛 In conclusion, the kid wins.
    (I just really wanna see the picture of the bike)

  38. FamFams said, on May 30, 2007 at 5:14 am

    what does ‘spooning’ mean?

  39. anon-chan said, on May 30, 2007 at 3:02 pm


    you know, the boys spooning in the hallway doesn’t really surprise me except for the fact why the hell they chose a hallway of all places. 😡
    /r/ rabid frenchman santa claus pls!

  40. Anonymous said, on May 30, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    Maybe the rabid Santa Claus it was Pere Fouettard (lit. “Father Spanker”). He travels with Pere Noel and spanks naughty children on christmas.

  41. Anonymous said, on May 30, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    Maybe the rabid Santa Claus it was Pere Fouettard (lit. “Father Spanker”). He travels with Pere Noel and spanks naughty children on christmas.

  42. Creston said, on May 30, 2007 at 6:26 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAA, that kid with the bike is hilarious. “What are we supposed to do, only go downhill?”
    You gotta admit, that’s some funny stuff. As for the spooning boys… Holy crap. Please tell me they were like 8 or something. That’s seriously just messed up. It just takes Wrong to a whole new level.

  43. Alex said, on May 30, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    Az, I’ve been reading your editorials since Outpost Nine and I’ve loved all of them. I love picking apart all the references inside each editorial; finding out all this wild info about some aspects of Japanese culture have really made me take more preparative measures for Japan after I finish high school. (Seriously, I’m not trying to mind my own business in Shinjuku and get randomly kancho’ed because someone thought it would be funny to mess with the gaijin) Reading your editorials was the sole reason that I got a TypeKey identity. (though it hasn’t been working for me, so maybe I’m doing something wrong. I’m a loser like that.)
    But damned if this isn’t one of the funniest ones yet! XD I love the sarcastic comments Observant Kid had for your bike. It was priceless. I can’t draw for the life of me either, so I know the feeling on getting those taunts and jibes. (I’ve been a T.A. for younger grade classes as part of my work experience credit for my Junior year. To be shown up in the art department by a bunch of first graders really doesn’t do well for one’s ego. :/)
    Loving these editorials. Keep it up. d ^__^ b

  44. Mac said, on May 30, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    For the poor guy who didn’t know what spooning is:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spooning

  45. FamFams said, on May 31, 2007 at 2:01 am

    Thanks Alex.

  46. FamFams said, on May 31, 2007 at 2:04 am

    I mean ‘Thanks Mac’. Sorry.

  47. Anonymous said, on May 31, 2007 at 2:49 am

    heehee. “over the gay!” equally combines a wizard of oz reference as “over the rainbow”, gay in its own right, and an equally unintentional semblance to “over the bridge!” from “The Little Gaijin” youtube video. XD my mind amuses me with stuff like that.

  48. Anonymous said, on May 31, 2007 at 2:49 am

    heehee. “over the gay!” equally combines a wizard of oz reference as “over the rainbow”, gay in its own right, and an equally unintentional semblance to “over the bridge!” from “The Little Gaijin” youtube video. XD my mind amuses me with stuff like that.

  49. Raspberihevn said, on May 31, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    I wish you could have taken pictures of the spooning boys. Their behavior is ridiculous!

  50. Social said, on May 31, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Ms. Grinch is my hero. That’s right, girl, you jump over that gay.

  51. Kacie said, on June 1, 2007 at 9:41 am

    About the whole touchy-feely thing: OMG YOU’RE RIGHT!!!
    I’d never noticed it before, but Japanese high school boys are All.
    Over. Each. Other.
    I went to kabuki today, a special ‘Introduction to Kabuki’ performance for foreigners and students, so the theater was full of 16-year-old boys sitting on each other’s laps, petting each other’s faces, and curling together with linked arms to read the program. Several guys seemed to be pulling the classic ‘offer your date some popcorn then while she’s distracted slowly slide your arm around her shoulders’ maneuver… on the guy next to them. One guy had to get up from his seat for some reason, and when he returned all his friends kindly put their hands on his butt to support him as he climbed over them to get back to his seat. @.@
    Of course, watching kabuki has explained SO MUCH about Japanese culture to me. First off, all the plots of the gay manga my friend keeps showing me? All stolen from kabuki. The point of kabuki: pretty men in drag getting seduced by other pretty men.
    My 50-something friend who gave me the tickets couldn’t get over how pretty the heroine was, how delicate his face was, how clear his voice was, ad nauseum. Only in Japan do you young men being openly admired by women old enough to be their grandmothers.
    Second, the fighting style you see in Dragonball Z or Naruto or whatever, where the hero throws a punch, then spends the next 10 minutes describing how he learned his punch technique, and the noble history of his punching technique, and how his master tragically died before he could perfect the Ultimate Punch so the hero must carry on his legacy, etc., etc., etc…? Stolen from kabuki.

  52. really?? said, on June 5, 2007 at 4:42 am

    so japanese guys REALLY sit on each other and stuff like that??? and pet each others face and hold each other in their arms??that sounds so gay… i never saw anything like that in anime or drama. can u put a video on youtube that shows it?? need to see it to believe ;lol

  53. Navi1101 said, on June 5, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    lol, that Brokeback Hallway story had me in stitches for like 5 minutes. *breathe* I’m gonna be sniggering all day and nobody’ll know why… XD
    I want to see this rabid Frenchman Santa of yours. Post a pic on OP9, please? ^^

  54. B.B said, on June 8, 2007 at 12:51 am

    Missed Grinch’s comments…… now make me imagine her hot! I’m going to have to go back and reread the description he gave of her. She was just too cool in this post.

  55. Kat said, on June 12, 2007 at 12:14 am

    The very blunt, “Well this is quite gay.” had me in tears of laughter, along with, “Over the gay!”
    I’m wondering if Ms Grinch may turn out to be rather funny in the end if she continues with these sorts of comments?

  56. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:41 am

    hahahha! your entry had me laughing for 10 minutes. .

  57. Anonymous said, on June 12, 2007 at 1:41 am

    hahahha! your entry had me laughing for 10 minutes. .

  58. Anonymous said, on June 30, 2007 at 3:01 am

    Just read the RoE editorial….
    I have one thing to say: Amen, Brother.
    I have the exact same views. I have friends who call me a homophobe for this. Never mind I have several gay friends, and they get grossed out by two men holding hands. You just don’t interfere with another man’s call to nature. It’s a private thing, and it’s meant to stay that way, public restroom or no!

  59. Anonymous said, on June 30, 2007 at 3:01 am

    Just read the RoE editorial….
    I have one thing to say: Amen, Brother.
    I have the exact same views. I have friends who call me a homophobe for this. Never mind I have several gay friends, and they get grossed out by two men holding hands. You just don’t interfere with another man’s call to nature. It’s a private thing, and it’s meant to stay that way, public restroom or no!

  60. Anonymous said, on July 27, 2007 at 9:59 am

    Hey, you may need to install a gay bridge in that hallway

  61. Anonymous said, on July 27, 2007 at 9:59 am

    Hey, you may need to install a gay bridge in that hallway

  62. BKE said, on August 20, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    Super Random Select Alpha II: Dark Resurrection! LOL

  63. B.S said, on August 23, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    Hilarious! I would love a bike that could be powered with my MIND!
    I wish I could have seen a drawing of you Rabid Santa, because I also cannot draw if my life depended on it….

  64. fabiopl_ said, on September 22, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    … a quasi-Johnny Turbo reference??

  65. Anonymous said, on November 5, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    For serious, I learned to play the Dragonzord call on a recorder (the poor mans flute not an actual sound recorder). If one of my friends threaten me or things get out of hands I bust it out and summon the Dragonzord.
    Suprisingly, chicks dig it. They’re all “Oh I wanted to be the pink ranger” in which case I make some sexually explicit joke.
    Moral of the story. GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!!

  66. Anonymous said, on November 5, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    For serious, I learned to play the Dragonzord call on a recorder (the poor mans flute not an actual sound recorder). If one of my friends threaten me or things get out of hands I bust it out and summon the Dragonzord.
    Suprisingly, chicks dig it. They’re all “Oh I wanted to be the pink ranger” in which case I make some sexually explicit joke.
    Moral of the story. GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!!

  67. Skiba said, on November 24, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    Over the Gay = Gay Bridge?!
    The world may never know!

  68. Arti said, on February 17, 2008 at 6:45 am

    Alright, that kid who noticed the pedal-less bike gets a gold star in my book. That so sounds like a conversation I would have, “Wow, look. A hill, wish I could go up that, if ONLY I had some pedals on this chair with wheels of mine.”
    I love reading these stories.

  69. maaku_sutipen said, on March 27, 2008 at 1:55 am

    I am from the Philippines and I got to say I love your site. I have been reading your archives for some quite time now starting from the earliest one up to here and I would like to say something about the boys go all touchy-feely with one another. Well my case is different because its not Japanese highschoolers instead I have Korean high schoolers. I used to tutor Korean teenagers English in one cram schools in the Philippines. They are like what you have been saying in your blog. It really surprised me. I also had very friendly Korean exchange students as friends and even already older they are as “liberal” to us and amongst themselves as the youngins were/are. Maybe its an Oriental thing with the exception of the communist countries of course?

  70. Jaft said, on November 26, 2008 at 3:39 am

    This entry is just… It’s just hilarious. I like the kid who just ripped on that bike.
    Reminds me of myself when I want to give people a hard time.
    Go, go, Gaijin Rangers!


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