Gaijin Smash

You Are What You Eat

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on April 5, 2007

Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that kids can be little cesspools of germs and disease.
I don’t know why I forgot this, it certainly held true when I was a kid. We didn’t have the proper shame levels or appreciation of filth that we do now as adults. Something itchy down your pants? Well, scratch away! Front or back, it doesn’t matter. Out of tissues? Your hand is not only an acceptable substitute, your fingers can get to those hard to reach crevices that Kleenex just cannot. Washing your hands after using the bathroom? Pfft. And really, that only scratches the grimy, nasty surface.
I’d sort of forgotten about all this, but I was harshly reminded one day in an ichinensei’s class. I was standing near the front of the room when I noticed a girl on the far right picking her nose. Not the discreet “oh, let me just scratch my my nostril here – oops, a finger slipped in!”, not the skilled Ninja Thumb Penetration maneuver, no. This was full on Pointer Finger Excavation. She finished with one nostril and went right for the other one as well. I suppose this wasn’t too bad, I mean everybody goes gold-digging at some point. Most of us just prefer to do it in the privacy of our own homes with at least some tissue paper nearby, not right smack in the middle of English class.
It turns out though that this girl was hungry more than anything else, as she proceeded to take the fruits of her labor……………and eat them.
Fortunately, I’d skipped breakfast that morning. Had I not, I would have projectile vomited over the remaining 34 kids who weren’t eating their boogers right in the middle of English class. Man that was the foulest thing I’d ever seen since Paris Hilton’s debut music single. This was a whole two periods before lunch, and not only did I skip lunch, I barely felt like eating dinner too. (The New Azrael Diet Plan – just watch some kids eat their own boogers. See if you still want to eat that cheesecake for dessert) This girl could grow up to be the hottest Japanese supermodel, and still all I’d see when I look at her is a little girl chowing down on her nose goblins.
And yes, I know I’m being squeamish. And yes, I don’t give a flying fuck. She ate her boogers, man! All possible cries of “man it up!” go right out the nearest window. And if you disagree with me, next time you go fishing for slime fish, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU to eat one.


Anyway, in that class, we played an interview game, where the students are supposed to get up and ask other students “What’s your favorite food?” The students were supposed to definitely ask me at least once. I was dreading having Booger Girl come up to me. Not even for the question (although having to ask a girl who just ate her own boogers what her favorite food is does reek of irony), but for the fear she might touch me with those boogery slobbery hands. And give me her paper that she’s handled with those fingers, and breathe her Booger Breath all over me. Ick, to say the least. Fortunately, we ran out of time before Booger Girl could interview me. …YES! Buzzer-beating victory! Saved by whatever God it is that saves a person from nasty-ass shit (incidentally, where was this God when I was dating my ex?).
As this was my last week ever at this school, this would be my last class with these students. At the end of class, the students would pass me goodbye notes that they’d written last week. Usually just the class rep would stand up and give me the notes in a gift bag. So at the end of this class, the teacher says “Okay, it’s time to give your goodbye cards. Class rep, could you please stand up?” More than the goodbye cards, I was just relieved at having dodged an encounter with Booger Girl (who now, by the way, was picking at a sore above her mouth). Cause, you know, in the three years I’ve been here, these things almost NEVER go my way, don’t they? Finally, just once, I got off the hook. Well, I suppose I wasn’t in the clear yet, there was still the class rep and the goodbye notes, but c’mon. In a class of 35 kids, what were the odds that out of the 34 kids who didn’t just eat snot that none of them would be the class rep? That’s the kind of shit that only happens in sitcoms, right? I had a 99.97% chance of success/.03% chance of failure here. Honestly, that kind of thing would be beyond God simply hating me, that’d be some powerful, divine forces conspiring specifically against me. I mean..
…Booger Girl stands up.
…Wow. They say karma is a bitch, right? For something this statistically impossible to happen to me, over and over again, I figure either I was Napoleon in a past life and I’m still writing karma checks, or I’m paying in advance for a life later on that will include me inventing cloning technology and somehow getting a sample of Jessica Alba’s DNA. You know, I would even accept this kind of thing if I actually had looked down Melon Tits shirt those three years ago, but I didn’t! I had literally like a trillion bajillion chances to do so, but I averted my eyes as a gentlemen would. Three years later, God rewards me by making a snot-eater the class rep. Thanks, Big Guy. If no good deed goes unpunished, then next time, I’m gonna look at those 15 year old melon tits.*
Booger girl reaches deep down (eww) into her desk and pulls out the bag with the farewell letters. She comes up to the front to present this bag to me. This bag, which contained all the heartfelt goodbye wishes of a class of young Japanese schoolkids…and heaven help me, I did not want to take it. All I could think about was how the hands that were handling that envelope now, earlier had not only gone fishing for boogers, but scarfed down today’s catch. And God knows what else she’d done when other people WEREN’T looking at her! I took the envelope cautiously, and made sure to wipe it down and bless it with holy water as soon as I got back to the teachers room.
It would seem though that nostril excavation isn’t limited to just schoolgirls though. Ever since this day, I started noticing a LOT more nose-picking here in Japan. It’s especially prevalent among salarymen on trains. Again, there’s no discreetness or subtleness about it – they just plunge right in and start digging. One guy took the fruits of his labors and was rolling it around in his fingers for a good 20 minutes before finally flicking it on the ground. A little something to think about next time you hold one of the handles aboard a train in Japan somewhere.
I haven’t seen any salarymen eat their boogers yet…and the day that I do is the day that I leave Japan. I don’t even mean book a plane ticket, I mean walk straight off the nearest shore and just let the currents take me where they will.
*I say that, but really, I’m all talk. No matter how big or round of soft-looking they might be, I don’t want to see 15-year old girl tits. Hold off your emails to Chris Hansen and Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” (although, if that show ever did come to Japan, they would never run out of footage, EVER). I only want to see the tits of women around my age, give or take a few years. Is that so wrong!? Why can’t more women who aren’t 15 (and my students) open up their shirts around me, show me a little skin. Instead, I get booger eaters. Shakespeare couldn’t write a better tragedy.

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61 Responses

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  1. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 12:49 am

    Digging for green gold !

  2. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 12:49 am

    Digging for green gold !

  3. Fray Pentaro said, on April 5, 2007 at 1:08 am

    I hear you. I work at a school cafeteria, and man oh man, would you be surprised. Dry boogers, coughing on other kids’ food…
    That’s why I say everybody should be born until they’re 18 years old.

  4. Erick said, on April 5, 2007 at 1:09 am

    God damn… I said GOD DAMN! God damn, god damn.

  5. Aaminah said, on April 5, 2007 at 1:41 am

    Deep down, you know you liked it! 😀
    I’m kidding! But now that I think about it, I remember a video I just saw the other night that kind of freaked me out, but now I think I understand it (thanks to your post)… Basically, two guys from a Japanese boys band called Arashi are taking care of two little kids, and there’s this part in which one of the kids is crying and thus gets some “boogers” down his nose. Instead of cleaning it, the guys just stand there laughing while the kid proceeds to eat those things. I guess it must be normal, to them… If someone is actually disturbed enough to want to see it purposely, it’s here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrl2bokQ-kA, around 03:09.
    Watch out not to get used to that kind of behaviour after you spend some time noticing it, just like you missed the surgical masks when you got home, and other things you though were weird at the beginning but nowadays you don’t. Really, don’t let Japan get to you, not that way! XD
    By the way, I never commented on this blog, but I really like your editorials! Keep it going! 🙂 Your adventures have reached as far as Portugal!

  6. Kohaku said, on April 5, 2007 at 1:49 am

    Yatta! First comment!!! I’m sorry Az, You know that here in Japan it’s bad to show your chest (or lack thereof) but you can wear a skirt that cant pass the ruler test (ie being over 12 inches long) but thats the fun of being gaijin, I can wear a low cut shirt and get away with it (and also because I’m a 34E), but explain to me why I’ll get women of all ages who walk up to me on the street and with no “konnichiwa” grab my chest……gotta love Japan.
    (Az’s Note: 34….E?!?! Damn, I miss America. I wanna see some 34E’s.
    I’d take 34C at this point too.)

  7. Megan said, on April 5, 2007 at 2:35 am

    That is so true, I see Japanese guys in cars picking their noses all the time. Also the guy that sits across from my desk is constantly digging for treasure. Unfortunately, it does seem to be a trend in Japan to do so.

  8. purplekitty said, on April 5, 2007 at 3:04 am

    Haha kohaku I am so taking that idea^^ I’m no E but a DD is close enough^^ I don’t think I’m a pervert but I’ve always felt a nice rack is a good icebreaker with strangers^^ Hahaha I have a strange since of humor.

  9. Coma said, on April 5, 2007 at 3:21 am

    Hey Azrael, please ask Rudius to remove all the RSS links from the other Rudius Media blogs!
    I use a Firefox Greasemonkey User Script that shows little buttons for every feed on the site, and there are so many in this one (it’s new) and it’s rather annoying.

  10. Brad said, on April 5, 2007 at 3:42 am

    Good lord. That’s just foul.
    I’m still hoping for a “Goodbye, Watson’s School,” by the way.

  11. Spring Hare said, on April 5, 2007 at 4:12 am

    Uhhh. Riiiiight. You know, i was really starting to think that you, Az, were the coolest thing since Lightsabers and then this pops up. Not only do you get whiny over something as little as that, you mention the fact that the itty-bitty girl ate her own diggings more times than should have been humanly possible. Little fun fact about germs is that small exposure now and then actually HELPS to keep you healthy, since it keeps your immune system ready to murderize that nasty flu you might otherwise catch and similar nasties. Yeah, sure, it’s a bit awkward and you might get a little ewww feeling, but actually having that affect anything you do… well, i hear USA born people take this more badly than other english-speakers, but i’ll say it anyway. Making such a number over such a little deal pretty much makes you a whiny bitch. You’re a cool cat with bad luck Az, but having a grown man (black or white, i don’t care) go that squeamish, i would have sworn YOU were the little girl.

  12. AapoAlas said, on April 5, 2007 at 9:03 am

    To Spring Hare up there: Boy, oh boy. I don’t think it’s unmanly to get squeamish about someone eating her boogers.
    Some people just have certain things that they do not want to see/eat *laugh*
    Yeah, germs are good in small amounts, and in no way is that girl now going to get a flu or anything, nor is Az, but I think it’s completely okay to not like it. Don’t you?
    Well, somehow (personal opinion, starting a flame war kkthxbye, right? *smile*) I find that a little disappointing, that someone really thinks that it’s not manly to be disgusted by something like that. Ah, what ever.
    Back to “on topic”: I go gold-digging every now and then! Yeay! But indeed, not in the middle of a class (usually, at least). And not too much in the public anyways. But, since Japan is so fucked up and different to the Western countries, I just suppose there it’s normal. Hmm… That doesn’t help the little Gaijin to get rid of his disgust, does it? Well, too bad, you just have to cope with it.
    Oh, and a bit of off topic, Az, would really like to get a small explanation: If your time on JET ended in August 2006 (that’s what it reads earlier), then how come you’re writing about the goodbyes you give to the schools now? I’m really, completely and utterly out. Can’t just figure.
    Please, do explain this to poor, thick me *smile*

  13. EdZ said, on April 5, 2007 at 9:28 am

    @Spring Hare
    Geez, lighten up! It’s a humorous post!
    Mucophagy (as the practice of picking your nose and eating it is formally named) may or may not help your immune system. No rigorous formal studies have been undertaken. Doesn’t stop me though, I just do it out of habit.

  14. nova20 said, on April 5, 2007 at 10:11 am

    What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
    15-year-old Japanese girls won’t eat broccoli.

  15. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 10:18 am

    Hey Az, you clearly haven’t read the latest research on the subject.
    http://www.kidzworld.com/article/4361-is-picking-your-nose-and-eating-it-good-for-you
    Fancy that. 😀

  16. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 10:18 am

    Hey Az, you clearly haven’t read the latest research on the subject.
    http://www.kidzworld.com/article/4361-is-picking-your-nose-and-eating-it-good-for-you
    Fancy that. 😀

  17. Azrael said, on April 5, 2007 at 10:25 am

    To AapoAlas – Well, since you asked nicely…
    I moved to RudiusMedia from my personal site, outpostnine.com, in April or so. Because Gaijin Smash is, essentially, a new site with new readers, the decision was made to repost the archive starting from the beginning. But even at a rate of 3 per week, it was going to take a 7-8 months to catch up.
    While I hated putting the outpostnine readers through that, it was convenient for me, as my life became hectic sometime around June as my time on JET ended. Even if I hadn’t moved, I wouldn’t have been able to write anything. I did manage to pound out a few articles though while the repost was going on.
    When the archive repost ended, I started posting the new content I’d been saving from last year. So now we’ve finally got to the end of my time on JET, August 2006.
    Personally, it would be best for me if this site always remained a few months behind real life or so, as it gives me breathing room. But at two articles a week, and my life no longer involving Japanese school children, I figure we’ll catch up eventually.
    Hope that explains it all.

  18. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 11:33 am

    What I don’t understand is why anyone would use thier pointer finger to pick thier nose. That seems to me like a rescipe for a bloody nose since the diameter of the pointer finger is far too close to (if not greater than) the diameter of the nostril. The ideal nose-picking finger is clearly the pinky, since it is the smallest and can therefore manuver the best once inside the nose.

  19. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 11:33 am

    What I don’t understand is why anyone would use thier pointer finger to pick thier nose. That seems to me like a rescipe for a bloody nose since the diameter of the pointer finger is far too close to (if not greater than) the diameter of the nostril. The ideal nose-picking finger is clearly the pinky, since it is the smallest and can therefore manuver the best once inside the nose.

  20. gigga said, on April 5, 2007 at 11:56 am

    i love melon tits

  21. Anonymous said, on April 5, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Ah, but the pinky is also among the least dexterous of the fingers, and most likely to be involved in a horrible slip. I admit, it is useful for getting the ones that are REALLY up there, but otherwise the pointer-finger is the optimum choice, unless your nose is really small and your hands really big.
    The size of the pointer finger also works for you because it’s able to work a larger area at the same time.

  22. Claire said, on April 5, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Eww, eww and eww. I feel your pain. When my brother was younger, he used to eat his boogers all the time thus alienating him from me. I never wanted him near me after being grossed out by his weird eating habit. It has been at least 5 years and till now I do not know if he has out-grown it, which probably is not the case. Ugh. It makes me really sick just to recall those booger-chomping moments.

  23. flash_fox said, on April 5, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Now I aint sayin’ she’s a nose digger
    But she aint touchin’ me with those nasty fingas
    Now I aint sayin’ she’s a nose digger
    But she aint touchin’ me with those nasty fingas
    Wash up girl go head wash up
    Wash up girl go head wash up
    Wash up girl go head wash up
    Wash up girl go head
    Sorry, random flight of inspiration. Someone call Yankovic.

  24. RecurveHawk said, on April 5, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    In some nerd/geek circles, it’s perfectly acceptable to go mining for boogers and eating them. Supposedly they’re better than what some of these dorm cafeterias serve! I tried once (mining for nasal gold and sampling it) when I was younger and whew, I got hellfire and brimstone raining down on me from the “behave like a lady” nazis. Will I ever try again? Probably not after that trauma, but I’m certainly enjoying my own life as an aspiring forestry professor and bow-hunter/tournament archer!

  25. autumnfire said, on April 5, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    I’m paying in advance for a life later on that will include me inventing cloning technology and somehow getting a sample of Jessica Alba’s DNA. You’ve got good taste, Az! I’m a hetero female and even I think she’s hot.
    Why can’t more women who aren’t 15 (and my students) open up their shirts around me, show me a little skin. Instead, I get booger eaters. Shakespeare couldn’t write a better tragedy. Now this had me laughing so hard I was crying tears. You are awesome! Thanks so much for the posts. They’re absolute day-brighteners!

  26. Dave Worley said, on April 5, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    That’s one of the funniest posts made for a long time, Az.
    The subject matter wasn’t my favourite – hell it wasn’t even that good – but some of the comments made in it made me cry in laughter:
    “I figure either I was Napoleon in a past life and I’m still writing karma checks, or I’m paying in advance for a life later on that will include me inventing cloning technology and somehow getting a sample of Jessica Alba’s DNA.”
    Possibly the best piece of comedy on the internet, ever?

  27. Kosetsu said, on April 5, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    OH GOD. WHY DID I HAVE TO CHECK FOR A NEW ARTICLE THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE DINNER?! *dry heaves*
    Uggggh. There are so many better (and by better I mean less disgusting) ways to dispose of the green. I totally sympathize, Az, for being frightened of the Booger Rep’s hands.

  28. Mr. Bomberman said, on April 5, 2007 at 5:48 pm

    I pick my nose using my pointer finger and I’m fuckin’ proud of it too ^^
    I tried eating a booger once (I was 10, OK!? I was 10!) and it wasn’t nice. WASN’T NICE.
    Learn form ME.

  29. Zantetsu said, on April 5, 2007 at 6:42 pm

    One thing/person comes to mind after I read this article: Boogerman, titular character of a Sega Genesis/Megadrive platformer game. Not only did he pick his boogers, but used them as a projectile!
    Some might assume two things Az:
    1: Japan has plenty of mindreaders,
    2: Someone hated your guts.
    Therefore, they placed her as the rep just for that.

  30. Colin said, on April 5, 2007 at 7:01 pm

    Jesus christ, Kohaku…34E? Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I saw that here in America. I’m with Az on this one, I would dearly love to see that.

  31. Saben said, on April 5, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    It’s always so odd how Japanese are so paranoid that they don’t use a handkerchief for snot (it’s unhygenic to put it back in your pocket! use a tissue so you can throw it out) yet this thing goes on. Overall I’d say Japanese are more hygenic and health conscious than Australians at least, I’d think nose-picking is probably more prevalent here.
    But then you go and tell a story like this- no grade 7 girl in Australia would EVER do that. Nose picking in class is reserved for 8 year olds and below. A grade 7 would die of embarassment before doing such a thing and especially eating it. These aren’t little kids we are talking about, they are full on adolescents! Or at least pre-adolescents. Image is everything! It boggles my mind but I guess it just shows that adolescents really are straddling precariously the gap between childhood and adulthood.
    I dare say I have to correct your maths, though, Az. 1 in 35 gives you a 2.85% chance, not a .0285% chance. 1/35*100 to get a percentage, you forgot the *100 bit :p

  32. Risa said, on April 6, 2007 at 12:42 am

    Hey Az – I’ve been reading your blog for a while but never got around to commenting since reading 3 years of events in 2 days doesn’t really leave time for much of anything else…anyway….
    God doesn’t hate you. In fact, he’s actually helping you in one of those “god works in mysterious ways” types of things. See, if Nose Digger hadn’t also been class rep you would’ve been deprived to the fodder that made your story particularly ironic and entertaining. Therefore the only logical conclusion is that god reads your blog. be honored.
    much love and keep up the good work. i look forward to tuesdays and thursdays

  33. Jonci said, on April 6, 2007 at 6:53 am

    You know, I was reading the JET website and noticed they provide mental support for their JETs.
    So I started thinking, you either are too proud to use it or too embarrassed to mention you have to spend every free hour on the couch. With stories like this, it has to be the latter.

  34. Anonymous said, on April 6, 2007 at 8:36 am

    yum

  35. Anonymous said, on April 6, 2007 at 8:36 am

    yum

  36. Anonymous said, on April 6, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    God is helping you by giving you things to write about, so then people will visit your site, and you will make money!

  37. Anonymous said, on April 6, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    God is helping you by giving you things to write about, so then people will visit your site, and you will make money!

  38. defectron said, on April 6, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Could’ve been worse, someone could dig in their nose and then kancho you with their digger finger

  39. Spoon said, on April 6, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    I’ve been eating my boogers all my life (i’m 20 now). You guys are soooo overreacting 😛

  40. Wayland said, on April 7, 2007 at 3:41 am

    LOL I watched the linked YouTube video that one of your commenters left and that crap was so funny! I hope you watched it Az. Double-Drip-And-Slurp move. You have to see it, but WE ALL need to see some 34 E’s. : (

  41. Defectron said, on April 7, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    This actually brings back alot of traumatic memories from my childhood, for some reason all the kids in my grade school wanted to put their boogers on me, and sometimes they would succeed. They also liked to spit on each other alot, these two kids on the bus got in spit fights regularly, one time one of them spat in the other guys mouth with a big loogie and it was pretty gross.

  42. Jenn said, on April 7, 2007 at 7:16 pm

    I believe I`ve seen something worse… But this was in America:
    One day I was riding along in the car and came to stop at a light and was just kinda glancing around waiting to go when I notice this lady sitting in her car next to me. She`s digging out the boogers in her eye. Next she goes for the other eye. (Which grossed me out anyways… You`re supposed to switch hands!! >.>) Then, to put the icing on the cake, she subtly lowers her hand and sucks the things right off her fingers. It was… slightly traumatizing, considering the image is still ingrained in my memory.

  43. ymbwithvd said, on April 8, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    I don’t know what the big deal is…. boogers is good eatin’

  44. Maleas said, on April 9, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    What’s wrong with eating your own boogers?

  45. Megan Jones said, on April 9, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    Oh God, why did you have to write that story Az? Why? Now I notice even more that guy who sits right across from me at the yakuba. He is always going at it. Why?

  46. Wrath said, on April 9, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    when she was handing you the bag, something about the way you wrote out the situation smacked of seinfeld, absolutely hilarious. although it reminds me of watching kids do it back in kindergarten along with eating paste and crayons, i loved the story.

  47. I kinda feel your pain said, on April 12, 2007 at 4:20 am

    I’m here in China, gold digging capital (for boogies that is) and let me say it ain’t pretty. Yet, what you have in Japan can’t compare with people not using tissue and blowing snot directly onto the sidewalk…etc….gotta see it to believe it. Little girl snot seems very hygenic to me at this point…..but eating it is still pretty nasty yo!

  48. Blacksimus said, on April 12, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    (AJ – Give it up. I’m not approving your comments anymore, no matter how many times you try to change your name. I’m tired of your ignorant racism. -Az)

  49. Max Wilder said, on April 17, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    I gotta say I find it strange you don’t find young women attractive. Nature’s dividing line is puberty which happens around age 11 give or take a few years. Some girls around 15 or 16 are absolutely stunning, and Mother Nature says they are ready for life. A couple hundred years ago most girls were married well before 20, so don’t try to tell me there’s something wrong with me. Maybe these days it’s psychologically damaging for a girl under 18 to have sex, but most of them are doing it anyway, so I have no qualms about admitting that them young bodies are *fine*. I’d never touch a girl under 18 because of moral/legal restrictions around here, but there ain’t nothin’ wrong with daydreaming.

  50. Dave said, on May 13, 2007 at 12:53 am

    Hurk….ewwww, dude the sitcom luck thing sucks. I shudder at the thought of booger girl, she could strike fear into any man, beast, or the tooth fairy…lord knows that she doesn’t want any booger chewing teeth

  51. Lauren C. said, on May 19, 2007 at 6:13 pm

    *sighs*
    Somebody REALLY needs to make a sitcom out of your life.
    hey, we could get Bob Sapp to play you! :DDDDD

  52. Anonymous said, on June 29, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    I couldn’t read this article. Every time I tried, the gag reflex kicked in. That shit is just gross, man. I saw people do that when I was a kid, and even in kindergarten, I was like WTF?!

  53. Anonymous said, on June 29, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    I couldn’t read this article. Every time I tried, the gag reflex kicked in. That shit is just gross, man. I saw people do that when I was a kid, and even in kindergarten, I was like WTF?!

  54. Vespalady said, on July 24, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    haha yeah I totally feel your pain. I remember I knew a guy who would sit there in front of everyone pick his nose, spread the stuff on his lips and then lick his lips. freakin disgusting.

  55. CleanFreak said, on September 26, 2007 at 11:21 am

    I never thought nose-picking was okay, even as a kindergartner; I never even sucked my thumb! Disgusting people!

  56. yasir said, on December 6, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    cesspools…wow

  57. Brooke said, on June 30, 2008 at 2:46 am

    I’m a 15 year old American blonde girl, and I regret to inform you that the “Melon-Tits Phenomenon” – male teachers completely disregarding the legal boundaries between Penis and Brain/Anxiety is all too common. I’ve atually had chick friends copy work word-for-word from a male classmate and score higher (by about 20%) with a male teacher. Or more messed up. Some girl walked into a classroom in the middle of a lesson, whispered something into this teacher’s ear, and he actually SHOVED SOME CASH INTO HER CLEAVAGE. And this is South Florida, when I say cleavage, I mean ultra push-up bra + spaghetti strap which “doesn’t quite rise to the equator”, if you follow. So this guy right about lost his hand in there. Wanna know what’s even funnier? The administration went into a little fit about it after there was an uprising amongst other female students complaining to the administration, and he wasn’t so much as given a formal demerit of some sort. Amazing, right?

  58. Jonadab the Unsightly One said, on July 10, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    I really don’t get what the extremely big deal is. I mean, sure, it’s a social taboo in most of the Western world, especially for adults, but honestly that’s really just a social norm.
    Biologically speaking, the worst thing about picking your nose and eating it is that you’ve touched the boogers with your _fingers_ before eating them. (Your fingers, if you are at all typical, are usually fairly dirty, because you handle all sorts of things with them.)
    The second-worst thing is whatever atmospheric contaminants got filtered out by your nose hairs as you were breathing; but you’d get just as much of that by breathing through your mouth for an hour (which you probably do every time you have a stuffy head cold).
    The actual snot itself, while it has no appreciable nutritional value, is innocuous. You swallow some every day without thinking about it (albeit, not usually after it drips down into your nose and hardens).
    It should also be noted that usually when people pick and eat, it’s not because they like boogers so much as because they want them out of the nose (hence the picking) and then off their finger (and the mouth is a convenient disposal site).
    I have heard that in some parts of Asia the mouth is regarded as dirtier than the nose, so e.g. picking your teeth in public is more of a taboo than nose-picking. I don’t recall where I heard that though, so I can’t tell you how reliable the source was or which part of Asia they were talking about. Caveat lector, cum grano salis.

  59. Jonadab the Unsightly One said, on July 10, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    Oh, and I wanted to comment on the probability issue. There are probably thirty or forty times a day that the opportunity occurs for something weird to happen to you, at a probability of about one in twenty or one in forty or so. If so, it would not be all that statistically unlikely for one or two of those to pan out each day.
    For example, every time you ride a train, and there are forty people in the car (okay, okay, you’re in Japan: eighty people in the car), there’s a one in twenty chance (in Japan, one in forty) that the ugliest/grossest person on the train will position themselves either to your immediate right or to your immediate left. If you ride three trains a day, it’s going to happen almost weekly. And that’s just one thing.
    Of course, when the unlikely thing *doesn’t* happen, you usually don’t notice.

  60. Anonymous said, on August 5, 2008 at 7:15 am

    “Hi there, why don’t you have a seat?”
    =D

  61. Anonymous said, on August 5, 2008 at 7:15 am

    “Hi there, why don’t you have a seat?”
    =D


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