And Now, Back To Our Show
With yesterday’s post, “Gaijin Perimeter, Revisited”, that brings us to the last archive post from Outpost Nine. From here on out it’s nothing but newness, baby. Er, babies I guess, since there’s more than one person reading. Don’t want the Grammar Nazi’s getting all gestapo on me. So from here on out, it’s nothing but newness, babies. …Wait, that doesn’t sound right, not at all. What’s that? Someone named Chris Hansen on line 1? FUCK!
*Ahem*. Anyway, it’s been a long, interesting half-year (plus change), hasn’t it? I made the decision to move to Rudius Media for a number of reasons, the most important of which were not even commercial. Many fans of the old editorials understood the reasons for the change, and continued to support me. I’m very thankful to all of you. Some fans decided that I was now the square root of all evil on Earth. But, eh, that chapter is pretty well documented.
Though having to wade through the old archives must have been excruciating, even if I had stayed on Outpost Nine it’s doubtful I could have come up with any new material for awhile. Life was kinda crazy from July until, well, now. A lot of stuff happened. I finished my time on JET. I moved from the countryside into the city. I took another job, quit it after only a few months, and then spent some time as an umemployed bum. I went through the desert on a horse with no name, and let me tell you, it was good to get out of the rain. I got a quick sex change and entered the Japanese porn industry for awhile, and under the name of Manko Smashalot I set a new one-woman bukkake record. I pioneered the fusion of Japanese music, ballpark-organ themes, and polka. I also traveled into the past, and found that by accidentally stepping on a butterfly I’d set off a chain reaction of events that would eventually lead to the invention of Diet Coke. …Some of the things I just listed are entirely fictional, but honestly, if I had to tell you that…
Anyway, for the non-fictional stuff, you’ll hear about that in the coming weeks, at least if I deem it interesting enough to write about.
For the moment, a quick status update. No, I am no longer a Japanese school teacher. My time on JET ended in August 2006. Yes, I am still in Japan. Yes, I am completely out of my mind. I thought we’d established that a long time ago.
Updates will shift to twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This is a measure to keep me nice and somewhat sane. I’ll do my best, but please understand that there may be some times where I’m late with an update, or miss it entirely. As I am no longer a Japanese school teacher, I can’t really write about the wacky misadventures of my kids anymore. There is some catch up to be done with the last of my teacher days, so the kids haven’t graduated yet, but unfortunately they will. However, I’m sure this country will find various different ways to keep me amused, and if you’ll all come back to read it, I’ll keep writing. I may also write about some other non-Japanese related stuff, because the universe does not actually revolve around this country, contrary to what Japanese people may try to tell you.
At any rate, from now on, nothing but new content, Tuesdays and Thursdays. I appreciate the support you all have given me, both the new Gaijin Smash fans, and the fans who were with me back during the “I Am a Japanese School Teacher” editorials on Outpost Nine. If you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.