Gaijin Smash

Students Are Still Having Sex

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on December 31, 2005

So my kids are having sex. My 12-15 year old junior high schoolers are sexually active. I suppose this is true for any country, not just Japan. But I don’t want to think about my kids having sex! Who does? (don’t answer that)
I’m not just referring to the FBI shakedown that Cherry Boy did over a year ago. I was talking to my Hot Nurse friend once, and she was telling me about some of the concerns that students come to her with. You see, at my three schools at least, the school nurse also doubles as the guidance counselor. There actually is a guidance counselor, but she only comes once a week, Thursday afternoons. I guess matters of the heart are supposed to patiently wait until then. Where do I sign up for this job? Shit, let me come in one afternoon a week and listen to jr. high schoolers problems. Pay me for that shit.
Ahem. Anyway, for the 99% of the time that the guidance counselor isn’t there, the responsibility of listening to the students’ problems falls on the school nurse. Sometimes Hot Nurse talks to me about it, and on one occasion, she told me she quite frequently gets problems dealing with sex/sexual issues. Even from the ichinensei. My God, they’re only twelve years old!
The other problem here is that Hot Nurse used to work at the School of Peace and I can’t picture any of those kids being sexually active. Again, not that I want to, but sometimes your brain just runs away from you and you end up thinking about something like that. Especially if I’m in a class and have nothing better to do. I start scanning the classroom and thinking “Hmm, which one of you fuckers is fucking?” That girl with her shirt buttons undone and her skirt hiked up … most definitely her.


Hot Nurse respects her students’ privacy and has never disclosed any names. And I don’t want to know. I already know too much. I just can’t imagine – what if Ultimate Sweetness’s name popped up? Mousey? The Mayo Girl? Everything I ever believed in, everything in the universe would just evaporate in a puff of smoke, and I’d instantly be rendered blind, deaf, stark-raving insane, and constipated.
And yeah, sure, I’ll admit it. Part of it is jealousy. I can’t believe some of my 14 year old students are getting lucky. The closest I got to sex at 14 was when the vertical hold on the scrambled PPV channels got a little lenient and I could see a tit. Only one tit, the hold was never that lenient.
My students seem pretty willing to share stuff with me, and given some of the graphic questions I get asked, I could probably conduct my own investigation and find out all the dirt. But again, I just don’t want to. Ignorance truly is bliss. I wonder, when I was a student, if any of my teachers ever scanned the classroom and tried to figure out who among us was sexually active. And maybe they came upon me, and thought “Nah, definitely not him.” Goddamn that’s harsh.

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18 Responses

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  1. Steve said, on December 13, 2006 at 1:07 am

    I wonder the same thing every time I look around my German classroom. It doesn’t seem possibly that any of these kids I’ve gotten to know so well are sexually-active, but at their age (16) you have to wonder.

  2. Ashlily said, on December 13, 2006 at 9:20 am

    The thought of 12 yr old school kids having sex is just head-explodingly wrong. But at least they seem to be keeping it within their age group. If a 12 yr old school girl in America is having sex, you can bet the guy isn’t 12 try 17 & up. (After typing this I wondered briefly if that’s truly something to be thankful for, their still having sex).
    In an intresting aside, I’ve noticed that many people seem to comment on the dreaded “octopus” incident crossing international borders. Now you may already know this, but since I don’t make it a point to read comments after every editorial. Im going to tell you anyway cause it would truly be a shame for you not to know.
    I don’t know if you’ve ever been to urbandictionary.com which is a great site and an invaluable resource when I was ignorant of sexual slang terms such as: rusty trombone and blumpy. However recently I went to the site again and for the hell of it I typed in Octopus. Can you guess what the #1 definition for Octopus was?
    1. octopus
    A mysterious type of blow job used by one of the biggest whore’s in Japan. It has been known to rip dicks.
    Az had to see the doctor to get help for his dick, wounded by the octopus.
    That was posted by a lovely miss from Illinois, bless her heart. Az you’re truly an internet-celebrity and everytime I read an editorial I wonder how I got on so long without them.
    P.S Merry Christmas!

  3. Gabe said, on December 14, 2006 at 2:35 am

    Az! You see that?
    “1. octopus
    A mysterious type of blow job used by one of the biggest whore’s in Japan. It has been known to rip dicks.”
    Your ex was a whore! That explains everything! Why she cheated on you (because you didnt pay her and her bing Japanese caused her to use subtle hints that you did not pick up on), why the kids are screwing when they should be still playing with dolls and action fighures, why 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything, and why buttered toast always lands butter side down. It is the key.

  4. Anonymous said, on December 14, 2006 at 10:11 am

    Yeah that’s not really surprising for 12 year olds here in Australia either. A friend of mine was dodging out of religion at her school by going to the counselor where she was informed that a common event amongst the 14 year old female students was to meet up in a park with a group of boys get drunk and have a gang bang. Then again it was a catholic all girls school.

  5. Anonymous said, on December 14, 2006 at 10:11 am

    Yeah that’s not really surprising for 12 year olds here in Australia either. A friend of mine was dodging out of religion at her school by going to the counselor where she was informed that a common event amongst the 14 year old female students was to meet up in a park with a group of boys get drunk and have a gang bang. Then again it was a catholic all girls school.

  6. Runs With Scissors said, on January 2, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    *siiigh* I feel bad that alot of those kids don’t have the information they need to practice safe sex, not to mention the fact that alot of those girls probably feel pressure (direct or indirect) to do it just to keep their boyfriends around.

  7. Chȯ-Gaijin said, on May 13, 2007 at 5:59 am

    Meh… kids… you gotta admit, though… it does get kinda interesting, hear the stuff the kids have to say.

  8. David said, on July 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    The veritcal hold thing with PPV
    OMG haha i used to do the same thing when i was a kid

  9. David said, on July 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    The veritcal hold thing with PPV
    OMG haha i used to do the same thing when i was a kid

  10. Anonymous said, on September 21, 2007 at 12:17 am

    Are you guys kidding? We were all horny at that age, too. It’s not some kind of weird epidemic. It’s always been happening, no matter how shocking it might be to us. Kids have hormones, too. More hormones than adults, believe it or not.
    Just like Az, most of us were trying to catch a boob on the scrambled PPV.
    And actually, the Japanese practice safer-sex (lots of condoms) than probably any other country.

  11. Anonymous said, on September 21, 2007 at 12:17 am

    Are you guys kidding? We were all horny at that age, too. It’s not some kind of weird epidemic. It’s always been happening, no matter how shocking it might be to us. Kids have hormones, too. More hormones than adults, believe it or not.
    Just like Az, most of us were trying to catch a boob on the scrambled PPV.
    And actually, the Japanese practice safer-sex (lots of condoms) than probably any other country.

  12. Ceri Cat said, on September 26, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Heh catholic? Sounds like the Anglican girl’s school here. Never heard one story of them I couldn’t believe even now after leaving school and meeting some of the nicer girls who went to that school. A big chunk of them earnt the school nickname, going as far in some instances as stealing an electrician’s apprentice for several hours, or dragging guys up to the dorms during dances while some of the others distracted the teachers on duty (the first the electrician is a friend, the second I saw personally).
    And no Az I never got any in HS either, I like to think I had better sense, bicycles aren’t that much fun.

  13. Anonymous said, on November 11, 2007 at 6:20 am

    According to who, David? I’ve read Japan has extremely poor sexual education compared to other developed countries, and as a result also has higher than average STD rates. Maybe I’m missing some recent news, but I haven’t seen anything other than “Japan’s youth infection rates on the rise!” for the past 8 years.
    And I get that jealousy thing too Az, I do. It’s hard not to feel cheated by time.

  14. Anonymous said, on November 11, 2007 at 6:20 am

    According to who, David? I’ve read Japan has extremely poor sexual education compared to other developed countries, and as a result also has higher than average STD rates. Maybe I’m missing some recent news, but I haven’t seen anything other than “Japan’s youth infection rates on the rise!” for the past 8 years.
    And I get that jealousy thing too Az, I do. It’s hard not to feel cheated by time.

  15. Skiba said, on November 17, 2007 at 6:41 pm

    Some kids at the (American!) middle school my brother used to go to were caught having sex in an empty classroom during an assembly.
    … That’s really all that needs to be said about that.

  16. ~The Freak!~ said, on February 21, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    I think 12 is a little messed up but I got laid at 14 and I don’t regret that =D Mwahaha.

  17. Nappy said, on May 5, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    I lost meself at 13, so I can’t really talk about said youngsters. I personally think, as soon as you can if you can do it responsibly it’s fine, which sadly enough, many people can’t. But I was using condoms by then.

  18. Roy said, on November 22, 2008 at 1:27 am

    Ugh. You adults, always so full of yourselves.
    Us kids ain’t gonna break because we get a little adventurous. For gods sake puberty starts at that age for a reason, guys.
    And anyone who thinks it’s immoral needs to move on to the 21st century.


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