Gaijin Smash

I Can Only Love You For One Day

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 30, 2005

I think I mentioned before, I went on a “date” once with one of my English teachers, the one with the big-headed boyfriend. I’m not talking about his ego; I mean the actual size of his head.
While we were out, I got an email from one of our students, an ichinensei boy. He’s kind of a bad student, and actually the younger brother of the worst ninensei bastard, but he will actually listen and do his work from time to time. So I don’t think he’s too bad. I ran into him on the street one day, and as luck would have it, my cell phone went off. He then asked me to give him my phone’s email, and at the time I couldn’t think of an excuse why I couldn’t. If you’re wondering why I would hesitate, well, exactly what I feared would happen did for the first few weeks. The only messages I received from him were either “Penis!!!” (in katakana English of course, so “Penisu!!!”) or “Waist-shake!!!” “Waist-shake” being the word they invented for sexual intercourse. I’ll explain that one some other time.
This time though, he was actually emailing me with English questions. I was happy that he seemed to be taking an interest, even if the questions were a little strange. He was asking me how to say things like “love,” “forever,” “special friends,” stuff like that. I told my teacher who sent the messages, and she too seemed happy that he was working on his English in his free time.


Then I got the weird request. It was strange even in Japanese, so I asked her for help. We confirmed it to be, “I can only love you for one day.”
On its own, it was strange enough, but with the other stuff he’d asked… My friend asked me to ask him if he had a girlfriend. He replied that he did, and even provided her name and class. My friend became extremely happy about this. As she put it, “I’ve recieved a good information!” I asked her please not to violate my student’s trust. She asked me not to tell him that she was there, which I wouldn’t have done anyway. If word had gotten out that two of their teachers were out together, it would have set the school ablaze. By the time we went back to class they would have already named our children, who, hopefully, wouldn’t have big heads.
Anyway, my friend became very, very interested in this. Every time my phone’s email chimed, she’d jump up in anticipation, “Is it him?! Is it him?!” I told her to settle down or I’d revoke her phone privileges.
The boy finally told me that he’d been dating this girl since, well, yesterday. He was starting to get bored with her and he wondered if he should break up with her. Thus, “I can only love you for one day.” My teacher took my phone at this point and emailed him with, “Hey! You’re a man aren’t you? You have to be honest with her about your feelings!” To which the student replied, “You sound like a girl now.” Then I promptly took away my friend’s phone privileges.
I think he did break up with her the next day, making it officially a two-day relationship. Or maybe three. Based on his emails to me, I’m fairly sure he wrote the letter in English and it probably took her a day to translate it. And I realized, this poor girl, not only was she dumped two days later but she had to translate her own break-up letter.
I really hope she doesn’t grow up to hate men.

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9 Responses

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  1. krystal said, on June 21, 2006 at 10:12 am

    *THIS* is what I like waking up to.

  2. mamba said, on June 21, 2006 at 11:26 am

    liking the changes to the site, the blue is alot easier on the eyes.

  3. mr mr said, on June 21, 2006 at 4:50 pm

    i’ve read your stuff for about a year now, and getting to return to the older blog entries is a treat. will you repost the meiko and the owl story? one of my faves. p.s. liking the blue WAY more than the festering green. keep it up dude!

  4. Fox said, on June 21, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Spreading love one day at at time…..I like it!!!!
    So do these kids know that you have a website?

  5. Brian said, on June 22, 2006 at 12:37 am

    I’ve been teaching in Korea for about a year now. I didn’t read your last site, but this is great. Anyways, I’m just wondering if Japan has “fan death?” Koreans beleive they will die if they are left in a room that has a fan on with the doors and windows closed. Apparently this cuts off the oxygen supply to the room. People are not given autopsies if they die in these condition.

  6. Zenthor said, on June 22, 2006 at 9:12 am

    Yes, I have to agree. To be honest, I didn’t notice until I read “Mamba”‘s comment. This design is much more comfortable. I thank you from the bottom of my bottle.

  7. Tony said, on June 23, 2006 at 2:40 am

    That’s a smart kid. He’ll do well in life.

  8. Hugo said, on June 23, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    hilarious!

  9. SH said, on July 23, 2006 at 10:16 pm

    I just started reading these entries today.. how long do they go for? Because this is excellent reading. May your entire life be this interesting, sir.


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