Gaijin Smash

Operation: Japanese D-Cup

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on January 27, 2005

I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here.
–Agent Smith
One night I was up late watching some TV show about sex in society. This particular episode was about breast sizes. It claimed that Japanese women’s breasts have been getting bigger over the past 10 years. They pointed out that there are fewer A-cups and more B and C-cups than there used to be. Keep in mind that Japanese sizes are one cup below American, so a Japanese B-cup is an A-cup, and a Japanese A-cup means she has the chest of a little boy. They speculated that the cause is the introduction of more foreign foods into Japanese women’s diets, particularly McDonalds (brings a whole new meaning to Super Size Me). They also speculated that by the year 2008, there would be no more A-cups in Japan, and more B and C-cups. D’s even. The men on the show were, needless to say, thrilled about this.
Japan is a breast-loving country. This is the one thing I have in common with Japanese men. Another entry on my list of Japanese oxymorons: the men here love breasts but the women just don’t have them. I’ll see a C-cup every now and then, but it’s pretty rare. It’s actually kind of depressing, but I’m learning to live with it. With pretty much any girl who develops a decent set, her family may as well just pull her out of school because she’s got a career as an actress/model/porn star guaranteed. In fact, the only big-breasted girls I see are the ones on TV. It makes me think that Japan sends out scouts to scour the cities, plucking young, ample-breasted maidens off the street and rushing them to Tokyo to wear bikinis and bend over a lot in front of cameras.


This is also why anime is filled with large breasted 14-year-olds. It fulfills two Japanese male fantasies at once: the Lolita thing and the boob thing.
One day I was in the teachers’ room at school, looking out the window at the schoolwide Sports Day practice. The kids were doing these human pyramids – getting on their hands and knees, stacking themselves five, even six levels high. I looked at the poor girls on the bottom, or anywhere really, and I thought to myself, “That can’t be good for their bodies.” Then it hit me. People blame Japanese genetics for the lack of tits and ass, but I don’t think that’s it at all. I think they’re doing it to themselves.
Bear with me here. Name me a few big-breasted female gymnasts, ice-skaters, sprinters, swimmers, etc. But don’t think too hard, because you can’t! These women have been training hard since they were kids through puberty, the formative years. Boobs are nothing more than fat sacks. So with all the physical activity they endured, the boobs never had a chance to develop. Come to think of it, none of the girls I knew in Jr. High who did basketball and swimming and whatnot developed big boobies, while the ones who gossiped during PE developed decent knockers.
Back to the Japanese girls. They play in their sports clubs two hours a day, six days a week. Then they go home and consume a diet of fish and rice. Not a whole lot of fat there, and what little they do eat, they burn off the very next day at school! McDonalds is probably introducing a very much needed fat component into their diets, which could account for the recent upward trends in bra sizes. However, if they just stopped all this sport club nonsense, or even just toned it down a little… my God, think of the possibilities!
Knowing that Japanese men, much like myself, are avid breast lovers, I decided to share my findings with a Japanese male friend of mine. I was hoping there was some sort of Science of Breasts Ministry he could contact, and in a few weeks we could get Operation: Japanese D-Cup underway. I carefully explained my observations and detailed my findings. He listened intently over his beer, giving me a few thoughtful nods, and when I finished he crossed his arms and said, “But, I think if our women eat more McDonalds and exercise less, then maybe they’ll be as fat as American women.”
Ouch. Feeling my American Pride slightly damaged, I decided I needed to come back on the quick and defend my country. So I shot back with, “Maybe, but at least they’d have breasts.”
He took a long drag from his cigarette, looked off into the distance, and said, “Soo da ne.” Translation, “That’s right, huh?” Damn skippy, son.
America 3, Japan 0.

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39 Responses

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  1. Cori said, on June 19, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    For the record, breasts are mostly composed of glands, rather than being mostly fat tissue. đŸ™‚
    I love your writing. I can’t wait to continue reading.

  2. Melanie said, on June 19, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    Hmm well that’s true Cori, but, I recently lost 70 lbs and went down two cup sizes from DDD to D so… I don’t think any of my glands fell out! Fat definitely makes a difference.

  3. wtf said, on June 19, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    Haha.
    They might be a lot cuter than I am, but I’ve got more boobage than they’ll ever dream of. //bitter.

  4. frank said, on June 19, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    I always thought that Japanese men’s fascination w/ breasts was a little counterproductive when combined w/ the fact that they tend to think women who aren’t absolutely tiny are fat. It’s really not that different here, at least in terms of our taste in women, though perhaps a little less extreme. It seems men in most places like really slender women but we want them w/ breasts two and three sizes too large for their frame. Hence the popularity of breast implants; it’s about the only way you can get that look w/o freakishly good genetics.

  5. Kitti said, on June 19, 2006 at 6:39 pm

    Breasts are mammary glands surrounded by fat. Therefore, the more fatty tissue a breast has, the larger it is. Men have mammary glands, but most haven’t got big knockers. Doesn’t take a genius to work that out, people (and Cori; you are an idiot).

  6. Seanimus Maximus said, on June 19, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    Yo, sup man. I just wanna say, I check your site for updates like every day. I love your writing, and even though people dont comment, it dont mean they dont read your entries. Keep doin what you doin man, I look forward to teh next entry.

  7. TheBrummell said, on June 19, 2006 at 7:45 pm

    Um, yes, there are glands in breasts, but human breasts – particularly anything bigger than a largish A-cup – are mostly fat, by weight and volume. Your “record” is damaged.
    You have the internet – go find the truth!
    Also, I like your writing, too. Please keep up the good work.

  8. Anonymous said, on June 19, 2006 at 9:14 pm

    Don’t you think it could be the other way around, that girls who develop boobs leave sports/dance early on b/c they can’t compete with the flat chested girls who don’t have all that bounce in their way?

  9. Anonymous said, on June 19, 2006 at 9:14 pm

    Don’t you think it could be the other way around, that girls who develop boobs leave sports/dance early on b/c they can’t compete with the flat chested girls who don’t have all that bounce in their way?

  10. Creed said, on June 19, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    Well how in da hell do you explain the lack of ass?

  11. Josh said, on June 19, 2006 at 11:11 pm

    I moved to the state of Delaware a few years ago, which is like Chicken Country, USA. There are numerous chicken plants located the tiny state. After awhile, I couldn’t help but notice the 14-year olds with gazongas like anime characters. Puzzled, I conducted numerous experiments (mostly me trying to get the image of a 14-year old with D-cups out of my mind while trying to explain it.)
    Here is what I’ve come up with.
    Chickens are injected with hormones to increase their breast size. After they’re slaughtered and shipped out across the country, the hormones in the chicken breast die off.
    But to the people in Delaware, not only are they eating a lot more chicken injected with hormones, they are getting that chicken much faster than anyone else. The hormones are still prevelant as the chicken is much fresher.
    If my theory holds true, I can expect to see 7-year olds with B-cups by 2009.

  12. maiira said, on June 20, 2006 at 12:34 am

    Holy crap…so…according to the Japanese, I actually have boobs? Awesome!

  13. di'Taykan said, on June 20, 2006 at 12:58 am

    Breasts are about 1/3 gland and 2/3 fat on average, Cori.

  14. Kacie said, on June 20, 2006 at 11:03 am

    I also think an increase in the levels of hormones and preservatives in their food might be a cause. A friend of mine drank organic milk all her life, and when she went to college and started drinking the cafeteria’s non-organic milk she went up a breast size from the hormones fed to the cows.

  15. WDot said, on June 20, 2006 at 4:12 pm

    Wow. Definitely an interesting thing to think about. You should collect this all into a book or something. Also, I’d love to hear other aspects of Japanese life besides those involving sex. Not that it offends me or anything, I think it’s hilarious, but if your writing is too specific it’ll get old after a while. =P

  16. I am Jack's Brain said, on June 21, 2006 at 4:56 pm

    I don’t know when you changed the site accent color to blue, but it’s so much better than the green. Thanks for paying attention to your readers.

  17. Fox said, on June 21, 2006 at 5:44 pm

    You can be my avatar of large breast in japanese women. Someone will realize your genious and eventually they will build a statue of you standing atop a very larg tit.
    The coolest part will come with signing the bosom of all the girls made voluptuous off of your resarch.

  18. Annie said, on June 21, 2006 at 6:44 pm

    Hey, just stumbled on your site. This entry definitely brought back memories of my time there. I’m not a well endowed girl by any stretch of the imagination (US size A) but my Japanese boyfriend couldn’t get enough. He marveled at my “big breats.” Hah! That sure gave the girls a boost in self confidence!

  19. Sarah said, on June 26, 2006 at 4:59 am

    I think you have a point. Man, I know when I exercise a lot my boobies shrink to half their size. Yet, when I sit around and diet, they’re still there, yet my waist shrinks. Thusly, screw exercise. Poor, young Japanese girls!

  20. taopix said, on June 27, 2006 at 8:30 am

    hmm good theory, but i prefer slim girls with small/medium sized breasts than fat girls with HUGE breasts. keep up the good work!

  21. Wuzizname said, on June 30, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    I love your site – you’re very good a grasping and describing the comedy in your experiences. Do your Japanese friends and collegues find you amusing? Do they understand your humor?
    I see a movie script in your experiences. Good luck!

  22. Lauren said, on July 18, 2006 at 5:55 pm

    Don’t forget genetics, guys, if you line up a bunch of 5’4″, 120 pound women, they aren’t all going to be the same bra size. It probably doesn’t help that Japan is an incredibly homogeneous country.
    Now I want to see a Japanese A-cup Bra . . .

  23. Anonymous said, on July 24, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    It’s the food dude, that is why the white girls are getting more as$ now.
    Oh, you’re not a Brit.
    oh well even better, sweet!

  24. Anonymous said, on July 24, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    It’s the food dude, that is why the white girls are getting more as$ now.
    Oh, you’re not a Brit.
    oh well even better, sweet!

  25. Anonymous said, on July 31, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    I like asian women with small breasts better than fat american women with big fat breasts… Fortunately not all big breasts belong to fat women…

  26. Anonymous said, on July 31, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    I like asian women with small breasts better than fat american women with big fat breasts… Fortunately not all big breasts belong to fat women…

  27. Romanticide said, on August 5, 2006 at 10:49 pm

    where did you were when I was just entering my teen years!!! T.T okay I can’t complain much since I am a c cup but still… goddamit I could have a been a d!!!!!! >.<

  28. Anoniemouse said, on August 18, 2006 at 8:30 pm

    Actually, once female swimmers hit puberty, they have a tendency to not lose as much weight as someone in a different sport would. I know this from experience. If you look at the female swimmers at the olympics, they’re kinda squishy. The only way a swimmer can really lose weight is if they work out (like running or something) again after practice. If they’re new to swimming, they’ll probably lose the extra pounds faster, but I swim and I haven’t really lost anything.

  29. Anonymous said, on August 31, 2006 at 6:58 pm

    This article reminds me of a quandry I’m in right now. I know two girls who have crushes on me, and I’m trying to decide which one I should date. One of them has large boobs, which is good.
    (b^_^)b
    The other one has small boobs, which is good.
    (b^_^)b
    I think I’ll go with the small-boobed one. I’ve dated mostly busty girls up until now; time to try a different flavor.

  30. Anonymous said, on August 31, 2006 at 6:58 pm

    This article reminds me of a quandry I’m in right now. I know two girls who have crushes on me, and I’m trying to decide which one I should date. One of them has large boobs, which is good.
    (b^_^)b
    The other one has small boobs, which is good.
    (b^_^)b
    I think I’ll go with the small-boobed one. I’ve dated mostly busty girls up until now; time to try a different flavor.

  31. Akiko said, on September 10, 2006 at 5:36 am

    Excessive activity during puberty doesn’t always mean small breasts – go to Brazil and take a look around… the girls there play soccer like no tomorrow and get D cups anyway. I think it has more to do with genetics and natural selection.
    To be honest, kimono looks awkward on a woman with B-cups or larger, and as my Japanese teacher once told me, “Nice Japanese young ladies don’t have cleavage.” (As she flattened my breasts under some kind of ungodly plastic board so she could finish tying my obi) Apparently, back in the day Japanese women with smaller breasts were considered prettier. So men married women with small breasts and the big-boob gene was phased out. That’s my current theory, anyway.

  32. Jay said, on October 19, 2006 at 10:23 pm

    haha, glad to see a fellow american who likes his breasts!

  33. Anonymous said, on November 12, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Hmm as a girl I think most girls,like me, rather like to be flat and skinny than fat with big boobs. Since weight is a much more important thing than breast size.Besides if you have a small size than at least you know guys don’t only like you for your boobs =P..
    So all I can say is..Go (Japanese) girls!Sport till you drop!

  34. Anonymous said, on November 12, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Hmm as a girl I think most girls,like me, rather like to be flat and skinny than fat with big boobs. Since weight is a much more important thing than breast size.Besides if you have a small size than at least you know guys don’t only like you for your boobs =P..
    So all I can say is..Go (Japanese) girls!Sport till you drop!

  35. Anonymous said, on November 25, 2006 at 2:30 am

    Being a large-breasted female myself, I find that I must unfortunately debunk this theory. The thinking behind it is impeciable, though, and hillarious.
    The reason those of us with larger chests tend not to do as much altheletics is because they tend to hurt like hell, especially in the formative years. Bounce + large boobs = pain, about as much pain as say, stubing your toe. This wouldn’t be so bad, but its that much pain at each and every bounce. This is magnified by the fact that boobs are about two to three times as tender while growing.
    Concequently, you don’t get a whole lot of big-chested atheletes.

  36. Anonymous said, on November 25, 2006 at 2:30 am

    Being a large-breasted female myself, I find that I must unfortunately debunk this theory. The thinking behind it is impeciable, though, and hillarious.
    The reason those of us with larger chests tend not to do as much altheletics is because they tend to hurt like hell, especially in the formative years. Bounce + large boobs = pain, about as much pain as say, stubing your toe. This wouldn’t be so bad, but its that much pain at each and every bounce. This is magnified by the fact that boobs are about two to three times as tender while growing.
    Concequently, you don’t get a whole lot of big-chested atheletes.

  37. Brassenaurian said, on January 31, 2007 at 8:32 am

    No. Just no. I MUST debunk this theory of yours. I admit, it looks great on paper, but the “Uber exersise = no boobs” theory don’t check out. I am a white, American woman with an American D-cup myself, so I know what I’m talking about. I am also very active: I’m just about solid muscle. Except for one thing: my boobs. It’s in my genes I’d guess, but I’m living proof that being extremely active all your life won’t always make you flat-chested.

  38. Anonymous said, on August 24, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    Exercise two hours a day, six days a week is certainly not excessive, it’s pretty much the bare minimum you should be getting.
    Japanese children generally do eat better and get more physical activity than their American counterparts, and this is a good thing. If American’s had similar lifestyles we’d live longer for one thing.
    Additionally, it’s muscle tone that gives girls those nice round butts and hourglass figures. Girls who don’t get enough exercise tend to get flabby and gross =/

  39. Anonymous said, on August 24, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    Exercise two hours a day, six days a week is certainly not excessive, it’s pretty much the bare minimum you should be getting.
    Japanese children generally do eat better and get more physical activity than their American counterparts, and this is a good thing. If American’s had similar lifestyles we’d live longer for one thing.
    Additionally, it’s muscle tone that gives girls those nice round butts and hourglass figures. Girls who don’t get enough exercise tend to get flabby and gross =/


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