Gaijin Smash

My Kids Are Perverted

Posted in Blog by gaijinsmashnet on November 11, 2004

I’m assigned to three different Japanese middle schools. The grade levels are ichinensei, ninensei, and sannensei. These translate to “1st years,” “2nd years,” and “3rd years,” and are equivalent to American 7-9th grades. So the kids are about 12-15 years old. The ichinensei are just beginning to learn English. So this means they know nothing. Well, they know “Good Morning” and “I go to school by bike” but that’s about it. Some of them don’t even know that.
You know what’s kind of funny though? Some kids can’t yet say “Good morning” but damn near all of them can ask if I have a big dick. Or “bigu dikku” in Engrish.
You see, Japan’s an island no bigger than California, and information about the rest of the world is filtered. There are so few foreigners here, their only impressions of things outside Japan are from the media. And to be honest, they don’t really give a damn about anything other than America. So try to imagine a country where the national perception of you is created by American movies, music, and MTV. When you stop crying and shaking at the sheer horror of that thought, I’ll be here waiting.


Okay? OK. The whole “black men have big dicks” stereotype stretches far and wide, even to the nation’s 12-year-olds. Part of why I’m here is not just to kind-of-sort-of help teach English, but to “broaden cultural perceptions.” Break stereotypes, challenge preconceived notions, all that jazz. That’s fine, but this is one stereotype I think I’m gonna let slide.
Still, I am asked “bigu dikku?” a lot. Every 2-3 days in fact, which is amazing considering I was asked this about 2-3 times in my entire life in America, locker room jokes aside. How do you answer that anyway? To a 12 to 15-year-old? I wave them off and say, “No, no, no.” Then they say, “Oh, sumaru dikku?” (trans: small dick) and of course that’s wrong so I have to correct them. It’s just a no-win situation.
On the days I’m not avoiding that question, I’m avoiding them actually trying to grab it. I kid you not, I have to play Dodgedick with Japanese Jr. High kids on a weekly basis. Age, gender, doesn’t matter, they all want a stab at it. The boys are more persistent though. I had one boy grab for it, and when I said, “No!” he put his hands together and said, in English, “Please!” Oh hell no. Another 12-year-old boy kept grabbing at it, and when I told him, “No!” he politely asked, “Why not?” I began to wonder if there wasn’t some cultural more I didn’t understand. So I said clearly, “Age 10 years and become female since birth, then we’ll talk.” His solution was to ask the girl sitting next to him to trade seats, grab my dick, and tell him about it.
That was so NOT what I meant.
I wish I could say it stops there. Let me introduce you to a game Japanese kids like to play called “Kancho.” It’s not as much a ‘game’ as it is kids clasping their hands together, sticking out their first fingers, and shoving them up your butt. I’m really not joking.
Just about any kid can be a Kancho Assassin. Even the sweetest little girl is liable to jam her fingers up your ass the second you turn around. This happened to one of my friends, which just goes to show – don’t trust anyone. I’d say the little girls are the most dangerous because they have natural ways of lowering your defenses.
During JET orientation they told me a lot of ultimately useless stuff: what kind of computer to bring, if my DVD’s would work, clothing sizes, that kind of nonsense. Nowhere, and I mean nowhere, in the 3-4 months of training did anyone ever mention that at some point, a Japanese kid may try to stick his fingers up my butt. That’s something I would have liked to know, personally.
I was pretty lucky. Before I left the US, I bought a really big, really baggy pair of pants. The kids try to Kancho… they just have no idea where my ass is. It’s beautiful! One kid tried and his fingers hit nothing but jean fabric and air. Yes! I’ve also become pretty good at dodging it. Much like Spiderman I have developed a Kancho Sense that tells me where and when it’s coming before it comes. I parry fingers like a pro. My record is still 100% Kancho Free. Ha! America 2, Japan 0.
All in a day’s work I suppose.

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239 Responses

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  1. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    What happened to the archive?! It makes me sad, this was a wonderful source of entertainment and now my friends and I are shamefully underdosed with Japanese-education amusement stories.
    I hope you kept backups 😦

  2. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    What happened to the archive?! It makes me sad, this was a wonderful source of entertainment and now my friends and I are shamefully underdosed with Japanese-education amusement stories.
    I hope you kept backups 😦

  3. Nutty said, on May 24, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    Congratulations on the webiste move. Suggestion: you should append these posts to reflect the ORIGINAL date you put them on the web….(if I recall correctly, this first posted dated May 24 was the first “I am a Japanese School Teacher” entry made, like, what, 2 years ago?)….

  4. Japanophile said, on May 24, 2006 at 12:56 pm

    It is nice to now read through the revised archives, it brings back good memories. While I was in Japan on an immersion trip I read the old archives and the kids in my group got a kick out of it…
    Anywho, good to see you! Can’t wait to read the more current stuff…

  5. Mikeymike said, on May 24, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    Could you keep the old site up with the archive, next to this new site?
    I like the old clean style better of the old site (with the archive) on outpostnine>>> the content is what matters, not the looks
    ….plus this new site has a green and a grey bar which takes up a third of the page width >>> Because of this, the editorial doesn’t read as well as it used to be…this new style is annoying…
    The old outpostnine site also has a new annoying style. Lots of disturbing fonts and pics which distract a lot >>> sorry Az, but returning to the clean style (retro) is just better
    Besides that >>> didn’t you have a forum and a e-mail for comments…I don’t want to see all the retarded comments of visitors on your future editorials (such as: ‘yeah that’s cool’ or ‘I can’t believe Japanese are like that’) >>> your e-mail is better equipped for filtering useless content…
    I’m not bashing your editorials, they are just great. The style of your new site, makes reading your stories a bit harder… >>> keeping the archive up on outpostnine alongside this new site, would give the readers a chance to choose their favorite reading style…
    Kind Regards,
    Mikeymike

  6. Kuwa-Jiji said, on May 24, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    I am also saddened by the removal of the archives. I’ve been a dedicated follower of Azrael’s journey since Day 1. I hope to see more. 😀

  7. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Where are the rest?

  8. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Where are the rest?

  9. Prince Mercury said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:13 pm

    Umm… update?

  10. alejandrito said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    i hope the archive gets fised up by the end of the day. cant wait to read the latest.

  11. The_LxR said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    My God, Az… What have you done? I hope all of the editorial entries will be up soon? And what’s with this cheap desire for extra popularity by buying a domen? We love your editorials anyway. )) I’ve shared the link to your page with half my ICQ contact list already. ))
    G-luck, from Russia with love.

  12. Marius Stepien said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    Yes, please !!!!!
    Give us the old stories back !
    I am now in Japan myself working part-time as an English teacher and was jast in the middle of your stories, pissed my pants every time I read them.
    I hope you can bring them back up soon….
    Otherwise I will personaly come over to kancho you *g*

  13. Isabel said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    Oh wow you moved! I thought this editorial title was familiar.

  14. EPM said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    Dude, nice move! I look forward to future updates!

  15. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    Sweet upgrade dude. I just hope you are going to post the other archives. Nice color scheme for the site though.
    I hope to read some new stuff soon.

  16. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    Sweet upgrade dude. I just hope you are going to post the other archives. Nice color scheme for the site though.
    I hope to read some new stuff soon.

  17. corrupted data said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    wow.
    I was on the other site this morning reading the old gaijin smash post.
    comming home after school to find this is kinda freaky.
    Congradulations on the new site. ^^

  18. Lita said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    I’m loving this more then I thought I would ^^
    Keep it up! Take care!

  19. Death-by-Spoon said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    Aha! a new site design! its very nice, but you are going to have to transfer an absurd amount of editorials here… That and the layout is a tad narrow from being so used to an entire page of your adventures. I hope that all my bookmarks for the previous editorials stay the same url. It would be annoying to go through them all again to find my favorites.
    Update please; love the drama!

  20. Jessica said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    I dont get on here often enough to keep up compeltely with your awesome posts and now that you have no archive, I can’t catch up! =(

  21. Gordon said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Congratulations on the move. I’ve been reading your site for oh…has to be a year now and it NEVER ceases to make me laugh my butt off. Thanks for exposing all of us to what it’s like over there. 🙂

  22. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Moving up in the world, eh Az? Been reading Outpost Nine since the early Japanese Teacher tutorials. Gone from some guy with a little website where he posts editorials about his day to day life to rubbing shoulders with Tucker Max. Amazing isn’t it? Good luck, and I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with this after you get back home.

  23. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Moving up in the world, eh Az? Been reading Outpost Nine since the early Japanese Teacher tutorials. Gone from some guy with a little website where he posts editorials about his day to day life to rubbing shoulders with Tucker Max. Amazing isn’t it? Good luck, and I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with this after you get back home.

  24. Sikotik said, on May 24, 2006 at 4:31 pm

    Awesome new setup. It’s good to know you’ll keep this going after your years under JET are done. I was wondering about that the past few months. Can’t wait till the next post =D

  25. MadMonk said, on May 24, 2006 at 4:33 pm

    LOL! Love the graphic at the top!

  26. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Hey, I loved your old posts…will they ever be archived on this site?

  27. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Hey, I loved your old posts…will they ever be archived on this site?

  28. Maggie said, on May 24, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    Aww…somewhat disappointed with the changes in OP9. I guess it takes time to get used to it huh? I was hoping to read a brand new entry. So, where did the other previous entries go?

  29. Gaijin-Shujin said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:00 pm

    Hey Az, congrats on the move! Hopefully your editorials will now be read by an even wider audience. Don’t believe truth is stranger than fiction? Read on!

  30. Tim said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:08 pm

    so… you’re starting over?
    You could just put the first few (with some alterations) as an intro and then continue with the new stories. You had like what? 80? a 100? 37? gonna take a long time to catch up like this.

  31. Psycho-fox-girl said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:16 pm

    I have been faitfully following your exploits for about two years now, YOU ARE A HERO!!!!! If it had been me… I would have brought a gun or something, long before now. Jeez they really sound rotten ya know, I suppose there are alot of good times, but they those wouldn’t make such wonderful media now would they? Anyways, I’m lovin the new place, and to everyone here in America who’s taking up Kancho, that is a cultural boundry that should never EVER be crossed, as a girl who’s had her ass grabbed before, the ass is SACRED!!!! That is a NO TOUCHING ZONE!!! Maybe you should get a sign to put up in your class room that says in both English and Japanese: MY BUTT AND DICK IS OFF LIMITS! O_o on second thought that might encourage them… Anyways keep up the good work and remember people here in America are rooting for ya!

  32. wow said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:21 pm

    Az has finally sold out. Check out the phalanx of Google Ads on the right hand side.

  33. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    Are all your stories going to be ported over? I’ve been waiting in anticipation for a new story for weeks, and kind of disappointed that there’s nothing new.
    But the site looks good. Although, I’m not sure what was wrong with the old one?

  34. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    Are all your stories going to be ported over? I’ve been waiting in anticipation for a new story for weeks, and kind of disappointed that there’s nothing new.
    But the site looks good. Although, I’m not sure what was wrong with the old one?

  35. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    As others stated, I love your site and reading the articles, but where are they all? I thought this one was new at first, but it certainly is not.
    Hope the transition goes well, can’t wait to see some new stuff.

  36. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    As others stated, I love your site and reading the articles, but where are they all? I thought this one was new at first, but it certainly is not.
    Hope the transition goes well, can’t wait to see some new stuff.

  37. james said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    Where is everything, please go back to the old site@!!!

  38. Nique said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:46 pm

    Wow! Love the new site, although the green can get to burning your eyes. I’d been meaning to re-read the archives starting at the beginning, and this makes it a lot easier. Now I can go around and quote the old ones more accurately. Thanks! Loved these since I first read them, and will continue to read for a looong time.

  39. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    This is my first time reading your work, but anything that involves foreign children fingering your brown eye is a pretty decent measure of genius. You have a new and loyal reader.

  40. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    This is my first time reading your work, but anything that involves foreign children fingering your brown eye is a pretty decent measure of genius. You have a new and loyal reader.

  41. My Real Name said, on May 24, 2006 at 5:50 pm

    Damn, I checked the other site once a week hoping for a new post about Japanese Culture and the way you perceive it (and most likely any American who has been there as long as you). Now I find that I am going to be re-reading all the posts you made over the last 2 years. Eh, at least I have a bad memory and don’t remember every detail. Hope this move works out well for you, and I love the name you chose for the site.

  42. jared said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:19 pm

    im sure everything will be in order in due time

  43. Kathy said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:22 pm

    So, how do we get to the archives? When I click on archives, I only see the first (original) entry. Funny though, the date says May 24, 2006, but wasn’t this one from a few years ago? Where are all the posts?

  44. Lee said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:22 pm

    Why did you get rid of the old site? Sure it could have used a visual upgrade, but I’m not a big fan of the green, or the fact that the entire archive is gone.

  45. Josh said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:35 pm

    Yes! This deserved its own website in the first place. Long live the Gaijin Smash and your mis-adventures in Japan! If I could meet you, I would shake your hand, sir. Probably a welcome reprieve from having said hand shanking your anal cavity.

  46. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    “Dodgedick”, thats fucking hilarious

  47. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    “Dodgedick”, thats fucking hilarious

  48. Sabre said, on May 24, 2006 at 6:51 pm

    To everyone who’s wondering where the archive is, this is just the first day of his new site. He will probably transfer the rest of the archive over soon. Have patience.

  49. Tirion said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:03 pm

    Congratz on the move, Az! I’ve been a big fan for about a year now. Good to know that you’ll finally start getting some more mainstream attention. You deserve every bit of it.
    Hope we can get some new stuff soon, though.

  50. Andrew said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    Congrats on the move, Az! Can’t wait until you get your archives up, and I guess this explains why your updates have been slow lately. 🙂

  51. KazumiKuwabara said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:21 pm

    Awesome new site, but I do hope you have back-ups of those stories cause I didn’t get to read all of them!

  52. no said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:35 pm

    shame….
    i really liked the simple, easy to read layout of how this was previously.
    “My Kids Are Perverted – May 24, 2006”
    afaik, that’s FAR older than today
    at the very least, i would expect the newest article/post to be the 1st one on the 1st page, with links going back or to a list of all of them
    😦

  53. Leo said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    Your articles have always been amusing.
    Congrats on the new site, Az!!!
    From Malaysia&Singapore,
    Leo.

  54. William Stewart said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    puzzeled by your move. Your content is awesome enough you dont *need* to go to a portal, so why go to this group? I dislike the site desing too, you old was nice and clutter free. Stil, i wish you alll the best and i hope you make at least some $$ from being on this crappy network.

  55. dissapointed said, on May 24, 2006 at 7:41 pm

    GIMME A NEW TUTORIAL!!! and please post all the old ones back up

  56. Bartuc said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:03 pm

    Haha, glad to see that you have a site primarily for the Teacher Editorials now. I’ve been reading since the first dozen or so articles. I was surprised at the popularity of the articles. I would see random people at my school and even some relatives reading them.

  57. Horrible said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    This idea is ridiculous. You should have stayed at OP9. You had no reasons to change domains and remove all of your work. Your old writings looked much more professional.
    Also, this layout looks like vomit. And the drawing is incredibly shitty. And the columns are too fucking narrow. I will have to copy and paste into notepad to read them properly. Jesus man, why did you have to change? To make it look more generation X?
    So it could fit in with the thousands of uninteresting blogs on the internet? This hurts. I hope I can read all of your stuff off of archive.org, because I won’t be visiting this site regularly.

  58. Sailor Mewtwo said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:31 pm

    I’m really glad I recently reread all these editorials, given the sudden lack of archive. I’ve been dipping into them a lot recently.
    The first editorial was posted Nov 2004 I believe. I got passed the link in december or january (there were only 5ish when i started reading) and I’ve been hooked ever since. There have been over a 100, I remember noticing one day that Azrael had passed it. I remember that it was quite appropriate that it was a Moeko one that marked the milestone.
    Anyways, hope the archive is up swiftly and I agree that the dates should be modified to reflect the original dates, if only to help keep track of the kids age. Measuring time by Watson cannot possibly be the best strategy. Either that or someone gets bored and makes a chart >.>

  59. Justanothermom said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:43 pm

    My adult son got me started reading your work at Outpost Nine; it’s very interesting & entertaining, although I have to admit I “censor” when reading some of the funny stuff to my husband (words get changed to “stuff” & “freak” & the like), for my own comfort. I’m glad you’re moving up, but really wish you had chosen a place that had a tamer name.

  60. pauline said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:52 pm

    i hope you repost your archives, i just started to read your japanese teacher editorials and have yet to become up to date!

  61. der Vorlagenmetallmetzger said, on May 24, 2006 at 8:57 pm

    How do I access the rest of the editorials?

  62. Mykath said, on May 24, 2006 at 9:00 pm

    Nice to see the move. Really enjoy these articles. I’ve been reading for over two years now, since near the start of them!

  63. Kertus said, on May 24, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    connect in using this link
    http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher1.html
    go from there

  64. Bbrendo said, on May 24, 2006 at 9:21 pm

    Dearest William Stewart,
    Perhaps the move to this “crappy network” stemmed from a desire to go to a place where the majority of his readers could spell “puzzled” correctly.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Bbrendo

  65. Lukos said, on May 24, 2006 at 9:39 pm

    This might make your content harder to find and some people will be less likely to read while being assaulted by all these ads. Lets hope you didnt shoot yourself in the foot on this one Az. And ditch the green border. It burns and looks like chicken shit.

  66. Bethany said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    This is awesome – I’ve been faithfully reading your posts since June of last year when I friend showed me (hoping to shock and frighten me). I kept thinking that this was in league with Tucker and Maddox. I’m glad to see that others recognize your genius as well.

  67. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:32 pm

    There are more articles by the same author on an old website? Can someone please post a link to it (if it is still up). Thanks

  68. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:32 pm

    There are more articles by the same author on an old website? Can someone please post a link to it (if it is still up). Thanks

  69. Azrael said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:34 pm

    Hey, thanks to everyone who’s come aboard from the old site.
    The archives will be rebuilt in due time. The old stuff is being professionally edited, so even if you’ve read it before why not have another look? But don’t worry, it’ll all be here soon enough.
    After the last of the old posts we’ll go straight into new stuff. Unlike before, updates will be more regular and consistant – no more random check-backs to see if there’s something new. You’ll know if and when.
    Your visual preferences aside, it will be the same content you’ve been reading before – if not even better. The icing has changed but the cake is still the same.
    Your understanding is appreciated. I’m looking forward to new and exciting things in the future with all of you!

  70. Anagove said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:52 pm

    Used to read all the time. Not sure I like this site. Liked the old one better. “Professional” my ass. Bring back the old site.

  71. lovett003 said, on May 24, 2006 at 10:54 pm

    hey who’s gaijin? are you changing your screen name az? personally i liked your op9 site better, it had a cleaner feel to it, but good luck and hope to see more of your work soon.

  72. Zenthor said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:21 pm

    Congratulations on the move.

  73. Holy Dragon Sword said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:21 pm

    Even though the location has changed, and all those years are to be placed back up again, I still love your work, Az. I never tire of reading through the stories, and they’re a bit of an inspiration to those of us who find ourselves living in absurdity.
    I can’t wait to see the new stuff.

  74. dan said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:27 pm

    hey az, nice new site!

  75. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Congrats on the move! I’ve been reading for just a few months, but your journal (when it’s updated) makes my day.
    I was sad to see that the archives were gone(even temporarily). Paging through those was always a good way to waste a couple minutes (or hours). I hope you get them up quickly…
    Again, congrats on the move

  76. Anonymous said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Congrats on the move! I’ve been reading for just a few months, but your journal (when it’s updated) makes my day.
    I was sad to see that the archives were gone(even temporarily). Paging through those was always a good way to waste a couple minutes (or hours). I hope you get them up quickly…
    Again, congrats on the move

  77. Patrick said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:37 pm

    I always liked the old site, but this new one will grow on me as well. And it’s funny to see them all. Any plans on making all of this into a book?

  78. Ken said, on May 24, 2006 at 11:52 pm

    What happened to the old ones?

  79. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:01 am

    This really sucks, I miss the old site. The big ads here are really annoying.

  80. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:01 am

    This really sucks, I miss the old site. The big ads here are really annoying.

  81. Anime_Kitsune_Steph said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:07 am

    I hope you saved them all and will update the dates to the original dates they were posted. I look forward to reading more Japan goodness in the future, and you must supply the masses with much of it, for they are dying from the current lack of Japanese hilarity. *shrivels* Ack! See! It’s affecting me too! ….anyways, is your email still azrael@outpostnine.com? because I have a few questions about Japan that I want to verify for a short story I’m writing…and it DOES NOT include kancho. ^_^

  82. Dave said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:18 am

    Question: I assume you’re from the US, as you seem to reference it often. Why, then, did you choose to say “programme” in the introduction? Just curious.

  83. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:49 am

    Here are the only good things I like about the new site: Updated RSS feed, Comment section, Dedicated web address. Other than that, I agree with most of the other posters in saying that I like the old site better. Much cleaner, more professional, less . . . trendy, and much less corporate. I hope you’re getting paid a lot for those stupid ads because they have an annoyance factor of holy crap.

  84. Alison said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:52 am

    Holy wow a lot of people are angry. I admit, I was hopeful for a new update (ya know, making sure you hadn’t broken anything again… who knows what they might do to you) I gotta tell you, I love this commenting feature! Hope the move goes well, looking forward to another update :).
    Hearts
    -Alison

  85. Kayla said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:05 am

    I agree with “no” (wayyyy up there). I think the new layout is sure pretty, and I definitely wanna steal it for my own site (don’t worry, I won’t!!!) but the old version was much more… genuine. There is something to be said for sites that are simple yet elegant (and not to mention, more browser-friendly). I just hope that you keep this site as it is now (don’t add too many needless graphics – speaking of which, where did you get those?)
    Oh yes and I am also confused about the whole reusing-the-old-story-but-adding-a-different-date-to-it. The new site intro is awesome though I, being an ex-Japanophile, can relate… I suppose the love of Japan hasn’t died in me yet, though. Has it for you?
    All in all, I hope the site works out for you. I’m a little reluctant to change my bookmark – *tear*

  86. TJ Williams said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:15 am

    Sorry man but I really liked your old site so much more. I’ve been a loyal fan from nearly the begining I even got other people to start reading. The new site is too complicated, I’ve delt with festering ass network sites before (Namely TuckerMax and Tard-Blog) and their layouts have changed so much they are just as bad.
    this place is way too thin and of course the lack of the posts. While I think it is nice for you that there was a move I honestly think moving here was a mistake. Your site was already super popular and now you are alienating the old fan base.

  87. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:15 am

    SELLOUT

  88. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:15 am

    SELLOUT

  89. Gedun said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:18 am

    Congratulations on your transition. I think you’ll have an even wider audience now…not that you needed any help. I’ve been a loyal reader for almost a year and as sad as it may seem, reading the stories of a way-ward Gaijin makes my damn day go by much fastar. Thanx for taking the time out to do this…we all appreciate it very much!
    …despite your efforts, though, Az…I’m still going to Japan this year! Keep ’em coming, man…for all of us 6+ ft. folks of the african-american persuasion…

  90. DaveJ said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:26 am

    Long time reader of your japan crap saying good luck, have fun.

  91. Gendou said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:59 am

    Wow. Nice site.
    Except for the big green Google ads right in the middle of every single page. I don’t mind the unobtrusive ones on the sides, but the ones in the middle are just plain obnoxious. Is there any way you can get them removed, or is this just part of the price of moving to another site?

  92. Lilith said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:00 am

    I happen to agree with some when I say I dislike the move. Your webpage on OP9 was kinds of like a part of your trademark. It was so simple, with no ads in the middle of the tutorial and it’s not a network which name’s has the word ASS.
    I live in Dubai in U.A.E and they block every offensive sites so naturally “Festering Ass” is one of them. Used a proxy just to post this comment.
    Ah well, nevermind me. As long as you’re happy, haha. Congratulations. ^_^

  93. yousuke said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:09 am

    where`s the craziness?? you amd thing…getting kanchoed,jesus you are crazy, oh wait you didnt even manage that. boo boo boo

  94. Kurt said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:26 am

    Hey there Az, greetings from New Zealand ^_^
    I’ve been following your page faithfully for over 2 years now and I must say that your exploits have been worthy of nothing less that complete admiration. Your stories have gotten me through countless hours of complete boredom when I’ve been studying or in class, completing my Bachelors Degree in IT.
    I’ve actually be checking the old page every day recently because I had a feeling that it was almost time for an update and what do I find when I click today, a brand-spankin’-new site! It may take some getting used to, but that’s hardly a problem.
    Anyway congratulations, and just a note to say that the Southern Hemisphere is well aware of your trials and tribulations and is cheering you on 😀
    K[^-^]E

  95. Keroro said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:42 am

    Well I’m not really happy with the move. I’ve been reading for about 2 years now and loved everything you had written. But this new layout and the adds are killing me. Whatever I’ll get used to it. I just wish you had at least kept your archives up on your OP9 site. For those wondering you can still read the the archives just you can’t get to a talbe of contents like before. Well I wish you luck on your new move. Just please see if you can get rid of some of those adds atleast the ones in the center.

  96. Es said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:03 am

    Az, I know you just started this new thing, but I have to say, so far I hate the new site. I loved the old site. It was simple, ad free and very pleasant to visit. This new layout looks like one of those search engine mistakes.
    The google ads here are extremely tacky even for a commercial site, especially the ones in between paragraphs. Buts its your work and you have your reasons. Sorry for being harsh but thats my opinion.

  97. daveyr said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:14 am

    Congrats on the new site dude, looks great! and RSS, finally! yay

  98. Izirath said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:17 am

    Good luck with the site man 😀
    We all LOVE your stories^^ thx for opening up like this ;D

  99. Brandon said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:20 am

    cant wait to see the new development on the site, and new articles. I hate to complain, but seriously, the green hurts my eyes I hope you’ll change it.

  100. I am Jack's Brain said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:42 am

    I like the gaijin smash image, but the green and black theme and narrow layout are hard to take.

  101. peru said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:48 am

    I do like the little guys running from the flames. The stories are (and have always been) top-notch.
    Congratulations on the move.

  102. tokyobobcat said, on May 25, 2006 at 4:00 am

    Sugoi kore wa subarashi ne~! So many people reading what you write. I liked your old site, but I am sure that the new one will be just as cool as the last one. Gambatane Az-san~~ ^^v

  103. Christopher MKM Stephens said, on May 25, 2006 at 4:50 am

    Urg…Loss of archive, a hideous looking site, and those infernal google ads all over the bloody place. Oh. And the fact the network is called Festering Ass.
    Hopefully at least you’ll continue to write like you do.

  104. bakaneko said, on May 25, 2006 at 4:57 am

    I was wondering why there wasn´t that much activity in the editorials this month, now I know it ^^
    I´m looking forward for your future writings Az hoping to keep laughing my ass off as usual.

  105. ZeoZaki said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:01 am

    awww… man this really sucks. Kind upset by this as i use to be able to read your site from my cell phone at work.
    Man this sucks. even donated for your trip too.
    Well good luck with your new site man.

  106. calstudent said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:04 am

    i miss the old site, easier to navigate. how come we cant read the old entries? are you re-publishing old stuff you wrote ’cause when i read your latest entry, it seems youre starting over and rehashing everything.

  107. Mr. E Commenter said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:30 am

    wow.. some of these comments are like “You moved site! now my life has no meaning and i hate the world!!”
    but yea, i kinda agree, i liked the old site cause i could always read it while downloading and stuff and cause its small, clean and somehow seemed more spur of the moment. Hope that doesnt change with these guys reviewing everything..
    cant wait till next real update ^^

  108. B_The_Archetype said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:07 am

    Festering ass… That smacks of Professionalism. But whatever I don’t judge.
    I didn’t think the site needed a visual upgrade. the minalmilistic look was fine, direct and to the point, since the humour was in the what was written and not some effect or drawing.
    I don’t like the move or renaming to gajin smash either. It’s obviously because you’ll be staying after your a teacher but the original title was less stupid.
    Though I hope you get your book deal. I also don’t care if a site wants to make a little money with Ads at all(I don’t understand why anyone would, unless the ads were pop ups…. Friggin gamespot)
    Though I read that entry you linked(about the site’s designer), and the design and logo isn’t that good.*not good at all*

  109. Ever said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:07 am

    I’ll add to the masses and say the date on the archives should probably be amended to the original date they were posted. I’d also like to throw in my other cent and say that the ads are obnoxious and I miss reading ad-free. =/

  110. Noella said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:01 am

    Hey!
    Uh, I know this is the beginning of your move, however I don`t think I like the new site. The old one was a bit difficult to navigate, but it wasn`t inundated with the ads like this one and the color gives me a headache. Other than that, good luck and I hope to see the archives up and running soon.

  111. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:02 am

    Wow, this is just depressing. I really loved the old site — it was hassle-free and didn’t involve being attacked by ads that say “the fart button.”
    The new site is ugly and why can’t we access the archives? I got attached to reading about Ms. Americanized and all the others and you’ve just ruined it. Simply ruined it. I’m not sure I can even read this anymore.
    Please turn back. I’m begging you.

  112. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:02 am

    Wow, this is just depressing. I really loved the old site — it was hassle-free and didn’t involve being attacked by ads that say “the fart button.”
    The new site is ugly and why can’t we access the archives? I got attached to reading about Ms. Americanized and all the others and you’ve just ruined it. Simply ruined it. I’m not sure I can even read this anymore.
    Please turn back. I’m begging you.

  113. arobotar said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:05 am

    What the hell, Az? Why did you have to change to site to something hideous, covered with ads, and with no access to the articles that drew us in in the first place?
    Trying to earn an easy buck alienates people. Goodbye; it’s been a nice few years, but this change makes me sick.

  114. mohfire said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:07 am

    I hope you’ll put up all your old entries so we can read them…ah “black man lies”….

  115. Jen DOnehoo said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:15 am

    Hey, where did all the other posts go? I have to say – I like your old site better… It looked much more professional… This one has ads and everything. But what I really miss are the old posts. 😥 I hope you post something new soon!!
    Anyhow, please put these stories back on outpostnine as well!! 🙂

  116. Dannii said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:20 am

    I prefered OP9 much more. Hopefully this will be able to keep up.

  117. pissed off said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:23 am

    Gross. Just gross.

  118. Ronin said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:32 am

    Stop acting like a bunch of fags to my friend. God damn. Let Az do his thing and quit being whiny bitches.

  119. MoMo said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:41 am

    What the fuck happend?! I don’t understand any of this shit! If I recall, this is the same post as the one around 2 years ago. I have to say, I liked your old one better. It also looked much more professional. At least get the dates changed, please! ^_^

  120. Patware said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:24 am

    Ah, the glory of author interaction.
    Sup Az. Been reading the entries for years now, this move changes nothing for me. Makes it a little more convenient, actually, I already read a few of the things on Festering Ass.
    Remember, selling out is what jealous people call success.

  121. Past Tense said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:38 am

    Only discovered your site a few days ago. I read all the teacher editorials and wasted hours.
    This site’s nice. If you move the adverts to the bottom, put the text in larger font and make the text column wider, it’ll look even better.

  122. Past Tense said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:47 am

    Just read all about Festering Ass.
    Seriously. You DON’T NEED professional editing. One or two of your teacher editorials are a bit of a ramble (your Tokyo adventure for example) but the rest already read as if they’ve been professionally edited.
    The only professional editor you need to pay attention to is whoever is assigned to you by a publishing house if you get a book deal.

  123. inari said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:50 am

    read you before you moved to Festering Ass and loved it, read it now and still do. Ignore the whining anime fag asshats who are bitching that they lack a place to fantasize about Morning Musume anymore. You’re important, they’re not. Anyway as a former CIR and ALT who is too lazy to write my own adventures, let me say that every word rings true. If you’re still in Kansai, let me buy you a beer sometime. Cheers.

  124. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:53 am

    People, people. The site has been up for no more than one or two days. How about you wait a bit before pointing fingers and shouting “Judas Iscariot! Gimme my editorials! You have no right to go around doing stuff with your own intellectual property! Goodbye!”
    But yeah, I agree that some kind of indication as to when the events in the texts take place. It was hard to keep track of things in the previous archive already.

  125. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:53 am

    People, people. The site has been up for no more than one or two days. How about you wait a bit before pointing fingers and shouting “Judas Iscariot! Gimme my editorials! You have no right to go around doing stuff with your own intellectual property! Goodbye!”
    But yeah, I agree that some kind of indication as to when the events in the texts take place. It was hard to keep track of things in the previous archive already.

  126. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:28 am

    As others have said, please adjust the dates to reflect when the original archives were first published.
    Also, the green/gray/black color scheme just hurts to view, especially over long periods of time. The green stripe is a constant visual distraction from the text.
    Good luck to you in your new home.

  127. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:28 am

    As others have said, please adjust the dates to reflect when the original archives were first published.
    Also, the green/gray/black color scheme just hurts to view, especially over long periods of time. The green stripe is a constant visual distraction from the text.
    Good luck to you in your new home.

  128. Azrael said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:29 am

    For more information about the move, including the fate of the archives, go here – http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/explanation.html

  129. Nani said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:43 am

    Hey, what about the rest? I enjoyed reading all of your stories, but I would enjoy new stuff. Not everything all over again.

  130. Just A Guy said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:45 am

    Now what do I see here in this comment thread…nothing but a bunch of goddamn whiny little faggots bitching incessantly.
    Shut the HELL up, people. Az doesn’t owe you a DAMN thing unless you were paying to read the old site.
    Ah? What’s that? None of you were? Then you got no say in a damn thing, bitch. Shut the hell up.
    And for god’s sake, learn to READ, people. Or at least get the common sense to know Az isn’t planning to just erase the whole goddamn site and start over. It DOES take time to re-edit and reconstruct a site that’s been running for two damn years. Jesus, have a little freaking patience, you ninnies.
    And to the people bitching about the colors, or the ads–nobody asked you. Shut your holes.
    The only complaint *I* have about the new site is the damn comment boards. If I were you, Az, I’d give serious thought to disabling this shit.

  131. Andres0082 said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:49 am

    Hey Az, congrats on the move, and i wish u success and happiness in your new ventures
    i have been a fan since the beginning, i am from Ecuador,even my bro who went to japan for an exchange program agrees with you, the post are great and i know the new ones will rock too

  132. Staredown said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:17 am

    While I do not know the terms of your JET contract, you should have held out for hazard pay. If this move gets you some cash (or even some pachinko tokens), then more power to you.

  133. CHANGE IS GOOD said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:35 am

    I love the new site man. No mtter what every1 else says. I am sure that it will tke off very well here. you’ll get more readers andpeople will get used to the new layout as well. Adjust people!! Good luck to ya, Az.

  134. Rebel1852 said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:50 am

    I have been reading for about a year and a half now, and i can safely say that you never cease to amaze us with your content and seemingly sporadic decision.

  135. ......... said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:51 am

    I’m sorry, but I am not usually one to complain, but if one more person complains about how they don’t like the layout or that they think that Az is selling out…I mean, come on! If you are THAT pissed off about it, then don’t read it! AND every other person keeps complaining that they don’t know where to find the rest of the articles and that is because they aren’t posted yet. If you bothered to READ, he said it himself!!! Look:
    “Hey, thanks to everyone who’s come aboard from the old site.
    The archives will be rebuilt in due time. The old stuff is being professionally edited, so even if you’ve read it before why not have another look? But don’t worry, it’ll all be here soon enough.
    After the last of the old posts we’ll go straight into new stuff. Unlike before, updates will be more regular and consistant – no more random check-backs to see if there’s something new. You’ll know if and when.
    Your visual preferences aside, it will be the same content you’ve been reading before – if not even better. The icing has changed but the cake is still the same.
    Your understanding is appreciated. I’m looking forward to new and exciting things in the future with all of you!”
    So stop complaining and shut up because the new site has only been up for a few days. Give him time to build it for gods sake.
    I understand this isn’t a forum, but someone had to say it.

  136. Past Tense said, on May 25, 2006 at 11:06 am

    Just wondered if I sounded horrible. I didn’t mean to sound horrible.
    What I meant to say is that you are already a very good writer.

  137. Azer said, on May 25, 2006 at 11:40 am

    God! The ranting masses!! You’d think these people were paying for this move or something!!!
    It’s all fine by me.(Just hanging for something new…)The green is cool. The adds.. I don’t see a single one…. in my browser….
    Hope the writing pays off for you. Keep up the good work.

  138. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    “I kid you not.” *crys for the abandoned shit.*
    Hope Ms. Americanized doesnt get cleaned, I like it dirty~ I MEAN THE LANGUAGE O.o. Anyway, grats on the move. Best of luck

  139. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    “I kid you not.” *crys for the abandoned shit.*
    Hope Ms. Americanized doesnt get cleaned, I like it dirty~ I MEAN THE LANGUAGE O.o. Anyway, grats on the move. Best of luck

  140. al said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:37 pm

    im sure it was said repeatedly allready in the 90 comments i decided not to read but it would be great if you could post all the old articles that were on the other site. i just started reading them and have a bunch to still read… now im stranded in statistics class with nothing to do… if only my prof was japanese instead of hindi, i could gaijin smash my way out of this class

  141. Roxie said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    Look, I don’t know anything about either of those sites. But what I do know is that Az’s got a gift for writting with humor and connecting with your audience. Please believe, those can be very hard to cultivate.
    I think Az deserves whatever he can achieve through his talents and I think getting paid some scratch ain’t a bad start.
    Az’s pretty level headed, but I just thought I should pop in and remind you to NOT LISTEN to the folks who say you’re “selling out”. That’s so ridiculous there’s no justifying.
    I really cannot wait to see how far Az’ll go. I’m proud of you as it is, even though you don’t really know me. It honestly warms my heart to see you doing well and see people loving your work. Follow every avenue you can to achieve your desires.
    althought the green is bright.

  142. Jono said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:43 pm

    All the best in moving ur stuff over and I hope one day you’ll get a book outta this dude….*thumbs up*
    cant wait for more new stuff ^.^
    Kancho forever

  143. Kuba said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    This layout is soooo unprofessional. It’s hard to read and feels like second rate crap — note, not even regular crap, but second rate, man.
    OP9 felt right and rendered right. Here, the ads and navigation take 50% of the screen width, the background is black/grey (couldn’t decide?!), and the fonts are too small by default.
    If you’re looking for a webmaster, I hereby volunteer. But don’t count on me maintaining this crappy look 😉
    Cheers, Kuba

  144. Kuba said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:51 pm

    BTW, if the old site ever vanishes, feel free to use http://web.archive.org/web/20050209005807/www.outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html
    If you want to go to the ones that are not directly indexed, use the numbers, e.g. editorials/teacher100.html
    Cheers, Kuba

  145. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    Hey, guys? If you want to read the archives, start at http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher1.html and then just click on the links at the bottom of the page linking each one to the next in the series.

  146. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    Hey, guys? If you want to read the archives, start at http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher1.html and then just click on the links at the bottom of the page linking each one to the next in the series.

  147. Erin said, on May 25, 2006 at 12:58 pm

    Loving the new blog format! I hope to see all of your previous entries soon (and more too, of course).
    I never realized how many fans you had until I saw how many comments were on here, lol. I know when I had my Japan blog (I was a foreign student last summer, and holy crap was there weirdness.), I didn’t have nearly as large a following…if what I had can be called a following. XD
    Anyway, keep up the good work! Good luck to you in your final months in Japan! o(^.^)o

  148. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    hey az, as many have said, been a long time fan and it’s great to see you moving up to festering ass. gratz man, and all the best.

  149. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    hey az, as many have said, been a long time fan and it’s great to see you moving up to festering ass. gratz man, and all the best.

  150. aerox said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    heey… where is the “i shit you not.” I kid you not sounds… not az.

  151. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    …ah, what…? I must wait forever and ever to continue from where I left off? I’ll continue to check in on a daily basis though.
    -Kumiko
    p.s. I like the new site.

  152. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    …ah, what…? I must wait forever and ever to continue from where I left off? I’ll continue to check in on a daily basis though.
    -Kumiko
    p.s. I like the new site.

  153. Elaine said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    I LOVE your site! I have been reading your material for over a year now. I told a friend of mine who wants to teach in Japan that she needs to read your site. She is still going and now is really glad she got to learn a little about what really goes on in Japan!
    Thanks for showing us what it is really like!

  154. Anon said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    This comments section um … interesting. It probably like an unfiltered version of Az’s inbox. Except we get the chance to attack each other as well. I’snt the internet wonderful.
    Anyway, thanks for the explanation Az. I was a bit disappointed at first, but I think I understand where you’re coming from now. Good luck on your new venture.
    BTW, I still believe that your old site had much better readability. There was something about the simple black on white that made if feel just like reading a paperback. This new layout feels a bit garish and … out of place?

  155. Kimberly Pauley said, on May 25, 2006 at 1:57 pm

    I hope you get a book deal; I’ve been thinking for months that’s what you should be going for. I’m not sure this is the best way to go about it, since many publishers won’t touch anything that’s been published already (and the web does count), but if you have new stuff + old, you can definitely get there. I’m not sure how many agents you’ve contacted, but keep plugging away.
    To all the complainers — hey, suck it up! You get (excellent, funny) entertainment for free. Writers deserve to get paid for their work. Technically, if Az really wants a book contract, he shouldn’t really be posting this stuff at all. He should be saving it up for his book.
    And…wanting to get paid for your work is NOT selling out. It’s trying to make a living. Yeesh.

  156. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    I really like your stories, you are such a great writer! Good luck with this new website.

  157. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    I really like your stories, you are such a great writer! Good luck with this new website.

  158. Chibi-chan said, on May 25, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    Congratulations on the move Az. ^^
    I remember first reading your first post when my friend introduced me to your editorials (back when he was in high school).
    And I was a stupid freshman back then and forgot to add the site to my favorites. =_=;
    But then my friend Cei-face helped me rediscover this amazingly funny site again, and it’s kept me pretty sane during junior year (specifically during AP English when my teacher would ramble on for 10 years about Emerson or some other American author/poet that wrote nonsense that is incomprehensible to the teenage mind, while your English teacher chuckles to herself at the innuendos hidden within the short story/novel/poem we’re reading).
    So yes, your stories are something that I would always look at in class.
    Fortunately, junior year will be over tomorrow after my math exam. But I’ll still continue to read everything you post. ^^

  159. Ben said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    Hi, ive been a long-time reader of your editorials and have always recommended your one-of-a-kind writings to my friends. I’ve been around observing your increasing popularity from back when there were twenty school teacher articles. I saw such things as ultimate sweetness on the bbs board later created – hell, you even got me on to street fighter, heh.
    among my time on the interwebs ive formulized some basic principles which create a functional web page for the audience. A successful web page should be created with the sole aim to deliver utility, function or in your case, content as simply, obviously and above all directly as possible.
    That is what i really, really liked about the drastic simplicity of http://www.outpostnine.com found before the update, because it was a trophy stand whose only aim was to connect you, with us through your writings.
    this philosophy of functionality over the countless websites with obfuscated, labrynthine menus, regardless of how competently written – is the key rule to the success of many newer websites, most obviously google but for broadness, look at youtube, or flickr, or even the chan bbs code of say, iichan.
    This site, however, does not practice this. Upon first impressions there is no clarity as to a mind map or explicit keys to the viewer as to direction, instead it takes a larger degree of familiarisation.
    “The old stuff is being professionally edited, so even if you’ve read it be….”
    /pif… when the australian tech magazine http://www.atomicmpc.com.au switched publishers to Haymarket Media some year and a half ago readers were met with a huge overhaul of the visual theme and layout, interwoven with content obviously strained with the new leashes strapped to the writers necks. This was soon followed by mandatory subscription prior to being able to chat in the general chat forum.
    That sparked widespread, audible disgruntlement among the readers whose countless pages of negative feedback in long dead threads attest to (the mag is now subjectively restored and excellent today).
    professional editing means this hit network has vested interest in your content and are willing to fine-tune, or sanitize, or mutilate your IP to make it adhere. And apparently you dont have any objections to this, not that they will fuck it up in any sense, its just that i want to read your writings, not syndicated ‘content’.

  160. IMightBeStandingBehindYouBreathingDownYourNeck said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    Love your site. It’s interesting to see how Japan is getting weirder day by day.

  161. DGMavn said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:33 pm

    What the hell, everybody?
    I have to admit, when first I read this I thought somebody had ripped off Az’s editorials and put them onto a less-professional site. Shame on me for looking at Tucker Max’s frontpage before OP9, but such is the power of RSS feeds. And I wasn’t happy at first with the layout, and I’m not happy about the lack of archival availability. When the first site was launched, there were 6 editorials already availiable. With this site only starting out with one, I’m not sure how you’re going to hook people who are curious and clicking the news links on TuckerMax and Festering Ass to check out this hot, new, and as of yet empty site. It’s lacking the Azrael soul.
    But the layout I can deal with, and ads are a fact of internet life (Google has ads, IGN has ads, MySpace has ads, Facebook has ads – if you can’t deal with one tiny box in between two paragraphs, please stop using my bandwidth).
    I think everyone who’s yelling “sellout!” and “omgwtfbbq new layout suxx0rz” is forgetting the reason why they read OP9 in the first place – the heartwarming story of Moeko, the baffling yet curiously entertaining Dodgedick play-by-plays, the uniquely powerful Requiem for a Legacy – we all smack our foreheads morosely at the slightest shout of “BREASTS!” and all burn with the same self-righteous anger over the evil ex (and yes, we still all want to see Az get with Ms. Americanized). It’s an editorial site. The archives are mirrored – those will hold you over. But the writing will return, and as long as the writing remains here, so will I. And you should too.
    Congrats, Az, and godspeed.

  162. JD said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    I’ve always loved your stuff, ever since a coworker of mine forwarded this very post to me about a year ago. I hope this new site goes well for you, and I’m glad you’re able to get more exposure. (But I do agree with some complaints, particularly the green and the narrow text.)

  163. sinja said, on May 25, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    oh my god “… same teacher editorials with a new great look and more professionalism”
    more professionalism? please don’t i’m beggin you… i wish i would have read the editorials again before you deleted them. ore are you going to post them again the exact same way? no changes? because you were hillarious. if people have problems with the language they just shouldn’t read it dammit. not that it was bad.. i mean… come on.. .
    i loved it and i hope it stays uncensored.
    and please excuse the english, i’m from europe.

  164. some math said, on May 25, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    There are 117 editiorals,
    3 per week =
    almost 10 months… without new editiorals!?!
    Oh no, say it isn’t true :\
    I’ll miss them

  165. Jim said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    Well, this really is a change. Its for the better thou, I like the layout a lot better.
    Bit of a hassle to redirect all the fans i recon, but as you said, “one might say…” that change is for the greater good, yours and our.
    Thanks for all that good smashin´ Az.

  166. Brian said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:31 pm

    Aw, I was really looking forward to the final entry; your trip home and reflecting on the experience. You’re still going to write entries about Japan, right? I hope you at least write some sort of conclusion to it. Ah well, I bet the move to the FAN was a good move. Wish you the best of luck.

  167. Lukos said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    “Posted by: pissed off at May 25, 2006 07:23 AM” Shut the hell up your no more Az friend than i am made of cheese. Internet fakers gotta love em.
    “Posted by: Nani at May 25, 2006 09:43 AM” Now now hes a grown boy he can take care of himself. Who asked you to be his keeper? He didnt.
    Now on a side note im seeing alot of biggots useing “fag” and “gay” in their comments. I take exception to this. I happen to BE gay and i dont appreciate the negative connotations you people are attaching to my sexuality anymore than Az would appreciate you throwing around the word nigger. If your going to complain then think about what your going to say insted of being knee jerk finger pointing children.

  168. Zed said, on May 25, 2006 at 5:38 pm

    Nice layout, Az! Can’t wait until you put up all your old articles.
    I think this is the 100th comment, if anyone gives a crap.

  169. Dewi Morgan said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    Sadly, the latest copy in the wayback machine is:
    http://web.archive.org/web/20050401054725/http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html
    2005. So, just haveta wait till the archives are up. Being able to comment and laugh and get regular updates, should be very cool.

  170. Me said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:07 pm

    This site is quite hard on the eyes. I don’t mind the ads at all, but the giant graphics and awful vomit-green color could use some work.
    I wish Az could find another way to get his writing out that doesn’t involve joining something called “Festering Ass” [worst. name. ever.] Hopefully something good will come out of this move.

  171. Masa the Masta said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:20 pm

    Yo, Az. Longtime reader and frequent poster in the forums. Everyone needs to chill out. This is just another way of getting the word out for his content, that’s all. “OH THE NEW SITE IS THE SUCK.”
    Suck his god damn dick why don’t you? There was a paypal donate button in the old site. Did you contribute to it? No? Are you contributing now? No?
    I thought so. This content is 100% free, PURELY for your reading enjoyment. Furthermore, the words are EXACTLY the same, minus the typos. The people who complain here are probably the same people that the author of http://tard-blog.com writes about. Suck it up, stop pretending like you’re stockholders of an ass-poking fest, and go back to your lives, people.
    For the record, I find amusement in the assholes who have something bad to say to Az, and then leave their names as Anonymous, or some other vague name.
    Congratulations on the move Az, and I sure do hope you kick very much ass with this new site. Furthermore, I still have that challenge directed to you for 3rd Strike still pending. BRING IT son, I will MURDER you with Ken. 🙂

  172. Ali Siddiqui said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    Az! OMG! I didn’t expect this change to have occured to suddenly! But, still. It’s good to see that your broadening this gold mine out for the general public and perhaps mass media *coughbookscough* soon in the near future? I hope so. You could have a picture on the cover of the book with a Japanese boy in Kancho position behind an ass…that will detail EVERYTHING that there is to know from your stories. Keep up the good work and keep protectin’ that ass from Kancho-Bandits.
    Take Care,
    Ali

  173. becky said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:49 pm

    I get the feeling that Az is soon to be the most popular guy on Festering Ass. ^-^ 99 comments in what, two days?
    Watch out Tucker.

  174. wels said, on May 25, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    I’ve been reading your editorials since the beginning, and I’ve really enjoyed them. If I understood correctly, from now on you won’t release any new material, only edited versions of your old editorials. This saddens me – and that pinch of unprofessionality was actually part of the attractiveness. It’s the same with the outlook, this new one is just awful.
    But, I guess everything good must come to an end. Good luck with your new site and everything!

  175. Nicole said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:44 pm

    I think all of your writing is great. It makes me laugh so hard I cry, and I’m happy if you can share that with people. ;D
    Though everyone complaining is pretty funny too. You just moved and they expect the entire archive to be here? And what’s the matter with the layout if the content is still made of awesome?
    Congratulations on your move, and good luck with getting a book deal!

  176. Pin said, on May 25, 2006 at 7:56 pm

    LOL, love how first they’re on your nuts and thinking “IF I READ AZ’S EDITORIALS MAYBE I CAN LAND A JAPANESE GIRLFRIEND TOO!!! YOU’RE MY HERO!” and now they’re like “SELLOUT, I’M PUNK FOR LIFE!!!”
    “Trying to earn an easy buck alienates people. Goodbye; it’s been a nice few years, but this change makes me sick.”
    Please. If it’s such an easy buck, why don’t YOU post up your hillarious Japanese schoolteacher anecdotes? Wait, no, fuck yourself instead.

  177. Hopeless said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:08 pm

    I’m probably a bit too late to get noticed. Whatever. If you remember me, I’m Karate and Suicide guy… who has e-mailed you twice since that faithful e-mail and is starting to feel like an annoying fanboy. Anyways, keep up the good work. You should publish a book on http://www.cafepress.com. I’d buy it.

  178. Cariss said, on May 25, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    COMMENT 100!!!!
    good move
    *looks for archives*

  179. Kevin said, on May 25, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    You guys here complaining don’t get it, and that’s understandable. Az is about getting in on the ground floor of one of the networks that will help shape the internet over the next several years. Whether you like his personality or not, TuckerMax is a smart guy and knows what he is doing here. Az will greatly expand his readership with this move, which is the point of the FA network. There are at least 6 or 7 quality blogs/sites on FA that initially appeal to completely different types of people. Some people wouldn’t normally read Az or Tucker or anyone else on this network, but there is one person they would read. They get drawn in, see that the material is quality, and start reading other writers they had no idea they would like at first look. That is how I found Az in the first place – through Tucker’s message board.
    This move will make Az plenty of money. Those of you who call him a sellout, shame on you, you are just a bunch of freeloaders. Looking at ads on a page is the price you have to pay for FREE ENTERTAINMENT. He is not asking you to pay a membership fee. Suck it up and deal with a few google ads.
    Finally, I have no doubt that Az will get a book deal out of this eventually if he wants one. Tucker hit the NYTimes bestseller list recently. Maddox will hit number one when his book officially drops. When Maddox hits #1, publishers will start scrambling for other authors with followings on the internet to sign – Az will have an opportunity if he wants it.
    Meanwhile, if you are looking for something to do while waiting for Az to put his old material online, check out the other FesteringAss authors. There is somebody who will appeal to you, I gaurantee it. I highly suggest Tucker, PhillaLawyer, Hollywood Interrupted and FireOnTheLine.

  180. Dave said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:11 pm

    Congrats on the move and good luck making a bit of cash from your writing. You deserve it!

  181. A Rambling Voice In Concert (ARVIC) said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:17 pm

    Good luck with the new site Az but I gotta say that I agree with the others about the layout… The green at least should really go and the ads would be better under the posts rather than in the middle of them like that…
    But that’s not whinging, that’s just constructive critisism. I know it’s been said before many times, but if everyone who thinks something doesn’t say it he can’t know how many people feel that way. It does make a difference if 5 people say something of if 50,000 people say something because if it’s only 5 out of all his readers, he might think it’s just the personal feelings of a couple of people but that most are happy with it.
    I’m not saying that everything’s horrible and that I’ll never read your work again, I love your posts and have for almost 2 years now. I simply wished to point out the two things that could make this new site better: to let the green go and to move the ads (not get rid of them, just move them a little out of the way). Admittedly the column could be a little wider but that’s not really important.
    Constructive critisism is important to anyone who wishes to do anything that affects anyone else and I think those that present it as such (rather than wildly thrown insults and temper tantrums) are only doing a good thing.
    Everyone complaining about the “whining” seems to actually be insulting Az himself. If he was going to be bothered by such critisisms, he wouldn’t have the courage or determination to do what he’s doing or get the book(s) made because he’d be too afraid.
    Instead, like any intelligent and rational adult, he can hear the voice of his fans and choose to, or choose not to, take action based on what he hears. It’s all up to him, let people have their say and let him make any final decisions.
    Trying to protect him from the “whining” does nothing except show how little faith you have in him to keep going, despite whatever obstacles might make things a little uncomfortable. As I said before, if he was that scared of it he wouldn’t have a chance of making a book. And I have full confidence in him so I’ll be checking the bookstores for his works soon.
    Anyway, that’s the end of this ramble. Really, good luck with whatever you do Az! Even with the tacky green you have an eternal fan in me ;P
    ARVIC

  182. Kouri said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:17 pm

    I’m not going to be the thousandth person to say “OMG where are the other editorials” or anything, but could you please set the text default on this to black? I have to highlight everything to read it due to the color scheme on my computer. Thanks. ^^
    (PS: OMG bring back the other editorials!)

  183. Zeon said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:29 pm

    Hey there Az, Nifty new site, gonna hate the wait for all the old stuff you have to catch up with, but oh well I guess ^_^
    I turned a lot of people onto your site and now you go and move it….
    But I gotta say, awsome pic at the top there,
    “Az Goes to Japan, panic ensues”

  184. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    you sold out…
    sad sad sad…
    good luck in the future…cant say Ill be coming back anymore =[
    …and it was so great before too!

  185. Anonymous said, on May 25, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    you sold out…
    sad sad sad…
    good luck in the future…cant say Ill be coming back anymore =[
    …and it was so great before too!

  186. Bates Holman said, on May 25, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    Dude- How the hell can someone stick a finger up your butt when you have pants on? I am slightly confused with the physics of this “Kancho” activity. If you could elaborate for me, (and possibly the rest of the world), I would greatly appreciate it.

  187. emily said, on May 25, 2006 at 11:55 pm

    This shit is hilarious, I can’t wait for more.

  188. nobody said, on May 26, 2006 at 12:26 am

    i think its great that you’re gonna revise them. but i think that this layout isnt especially friendly. i like the old op9 one better. also posting the original date of the original release would be pretty sweet. been a fan of ures for a long time wish u luck.

  189. Poohkumo said, on May 26, 2006 at 12:36 am

    Love reading the stories. Hope I can get used to the new site. All the stories bring back vivid and fond memories of all the weird crap I experienced in Japan too. I have long thought that Az should put together a book for publishing. 30 years ago, some journalist put together a bunch of stories about the same things he experienced when he lived there. Don’t know if its still in publication, but it was called “Japan: Its not all raw fish” by Don Maloney. Japan Times was the publisher. The stories then were as hilarious as they are now.
    I didn’t realize there was such a following of op9. Bikkuri

  190. Sparky said, on May 26, 2006 at 12:43 am

    Hmmm. Az, you’re not an ass. And you don’t fester. I mentioned this on the boards. The design here is pretty appalling. Other than that – I’ll take your editorials to Kodansha if you want. I mentioned it to my ex-boss. Have you thought of trying to work at say – the Apple store in Osaka?
    I’m not interested in any of the sister sites, just your editorials. – Sparky

  191. MAKO said, on May 26, 2006 at 1:44 am

    hey az. wye? i had your editoriols in my favorites. T_T its me t.j. well i guess your moving up. getting that book everyones been tellin you to make. now i understand wye there was nothin new for a while… oh well. im still gona email you often. (“\(>_<)/”) rawr.
    ^_^

  192. paul said, on May 26, 2006 at 1:45 am

    what of japan do you live in?? this shit is crazy, i live in japan and didnt know the schools are like this.

  193. charmee said, on May 26, 2006 at 2:08 am

    Dude, I’ve been reading your editorials for a really long time, and I’ve been amused every single time. I’d just like to say that I can start being amused all over again now that you’ve moved.

  194. Horus said, on May 26, 2006 at 3:30 am

    Congratulations man!

  195. The-Excel said, on May 26, 2006 at 3:49 am

    I love the header graphic.
    It seems to me from the load of comments from people I’ve never seen before that moving to this network was a smart move.
    Congratulations.
    But you could have at least kept a few of the more recent ones up at your homebase.

  196. Yuffie2006 said, on May 26, 2006 at 5:46 am

    Hey Azzy ^_^
    Good luck with this move, screw everyone else downin’ ya! Although I had grown quite fond of the simple layouts with excellent content, this could be your break, y’know? And I’m sure that if you do get a book deal, the pages your hilarious stories are on will be everso simple enough for me to read ^_~
    I’m very proud of you and all you’ve done. I really appreciate everything! Your stories have kept me laughing for the past two years, and I don’t ever want ’em to stop! So do what you gotta do and transfer the stories on over here so we can continue to read them.
    Love you lots!!! Thanks for everything!!! Good luck!!!
    ~Yuffie2006

  197. The Evil that is Oompa said, on May 26, 2006 at 6:32 am

    Az,
    As the previous 150 plus posters have said (for the most part) congrats on the move. I realize that the archives will be coming in due time. I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for providing endless hours of laughter in the middle of the night while I was at work.
    I found O9 by accident originally but I have shared it over the last 2 years quite intentionally with anyone I thought would actually appreciate it.
    Best of luck in all your future endeavors and I hope you will continue to get to practice all of your hard learned skills (like dodgedick).
    And in closing…screw what anyone else thinks. The site is for you and your aspirations to become a published author. Any publishing house with half a clue who reads your material will realize that you make even Dave Barry seem like a no talent hack.
    All the best man…and I hope our paths cross at some point in the future.

  198. Rinda Zing said, on May 26, 2006 at 11:17 am

    Hello,
    People fear change. They will get over it. I hope you get the old archive up soon as I enjoy rereading them.
    I don’t care what you look like on the outside its whats on the inside that counts. 🙂
    Rin

  199. some guy with a baseball bat :D said, on May 26, 2006 at 2:46 pm

    Well they new site seems better (visually) but it ain’t got the old sites text only allure, it’s like eye candy. I’m easily distracted how am I gonna laugh now? D: ANWSER ME!
    That aside congratulation on the new site
    Yours sincerely
    Bat wielding vigilante

  200. Mom and Daughter said, on May 26, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    Congrats on your new site. We’ll read your stories wherever they are- they are so wonderful and funny. My 16yr old daughter got me hooked on jpop/rock, food, customs,history and she is now taking Japanese in SF on Sat. (we live in the East Bay) She also is planning on doing Jet after college and finds your stories educational. Keep em coming….Thank you

  201. Jerome said, on May 26, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    At first reading that you had moved to a new website, I was happy for you. You were moving up and trying to do big things. Then when I got to the website, I was like eh, it loses its personal appeal, and it doesn’t seem as funny anymore. I don’t feel like I am actually talking to you, its more like just going to ESPN or something and having to click around before I can get to see the results from the game. As you know, you will lose some of your fan base because you had so many articles and to get those posted up will take some time. You will get new ones as well, but the ones that were there when you weren’t anybody won’t all be there. But that is what happens when people get famous I guess, they want to get bigger and better and so they will change so their style to attract more people to them. It may work out and it might not. I don’t know if you will be hurt losing those that were there in the beginning; but you have to do what you think is best for you so good luck on your adventures maybe it will all be for the better. You mentioned Michael Jordan, well Michael came back from retirement and although he was good and helped the wizards a lot; he still did not have the fan base he had when he was in Chicago.

  202. thermopyle said, on May 26, 2006 at 4:53 pm

    How pathetic that people are calling Az a sellout because of site-move. Seriously, it’s pretty pathetic. If they’re leaving and are going to stop reading Az’s stuff because of this, good riddance.
    ~Have a Nice Day

  203. Anonymous said, on May 26, 2006 at 6:51 pm

    Kanchono kakumei! < Kancho Revolution. Az, you’ve really gotten our school going with these editorials. It’s sad to see that your contract will be up soon.

  204. Anonymous said, on May 26, 2006 at 6:51 pm

    Kanchono kakumei! < Kancho Revolution. Az, you’ve really gotten our school going with these editorials. It’s sad to see that your contract will be up soon.

  205. WTF said, on May 26, 2006 at 8:00 pm

    Where the fuck are all the other editorials? The only reason I even came to this place was for them and now they’re gone – FOR NO FUCKING REASON.
    Bring them back, asshole. You clearly make money off of this site, so do something to have more come (Hint hint, mother fucker).

  206. Ender at Eros said, on May 26, 2006 at 8:32 pm

    Great switch to F.A.N., hope ur fanbase gets bigger and I’m waiting for the archives!
    (The green really doesn’t fit well)

  207. Dylan said, on May 26, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    Yo, I have been reading your site for a while, I guess you weren’t joking when you said you get alot of email, I can tell because I just scrolled through like 5 million comments! Or maybe the comments are just easier for people to toss out there. Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for the hours of amusement at my boring ass job and good luck with the new site!

  208. Anonymous said, on May 27, 2006 at 4:28 am

    Az, It is good to look at the old posts again. Good move i hope your oyster turns out to be a high payer!!!! You deserve it.

  209. Anonymous said, on May 27, 2006 at 4:28 am

    Az, It is good to look at the old posts again. Good move i hope your oyster turns out to be a high payer!!!! You deserve it.

  210. MCMenses said, on May 27, 2006 at 5:23 am

    Congrats Az! Looking forward to more entries!

  211. Le Blue Dude said, on May 27, 2006 at 11:07 am

    Heh. Your stuff has always been pretty funny. There is a Japanise student at my boarding school, and I try to get him to conferm the stuff, but he always gets shifty eyes (Metaphoricly speaking. I’ve never seen him have anything other then a steady gaze), and dodges the questions.

  212. Anonymous said, on May 27, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    Hey Az, congratulations on your move. I’ve read all the old editorials and I can understand that you as a writer have the desire to expand your readership. I believe you made a wise choice in moving to this network, I’ve already started reading stuff from the other writers and I’m sure you get readers from their sites as well. I don’t agree with all the people who say you’re a sellout, they’re selfish. I say more people should read what you have written and what you will write in the future.
    Now if I may make some suggestions, please heed the people who say you should post the older editorials under the original dates. You want to show people that you’ve been around for some time and that means a lot. Also, if you could get a different layout that would be great. As it is, your site looks just the same as all the other Festering Ass network sites. Would it be too much to ask for the old layout back? I’m partial to it.
    Well I really hope you get the book deal. I’ll be checking back often to see if you’ve posted anything new, and I mean NEW. Good luck!

  213. Anonymous said, on May 27, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    Hey Az, congratulations on your move. I’ve read all the old editorials and I can understand that you as a writer have the desire to expand your readership. I believe you made a wise choice in moving to this network, I’ve already started reading stuff from the other writers and I’m sure you get readers from their sites as well. I don’t agree with all the people who say you’re a sellout, they’re selfish. I say more people should read what you have written and what you will write in the future.
    Now if I may make some suggestions, please heed the people who say you should post the older editorials under the original dates. You want to show people that you’ve been around for some time and that means a lot. Also, if you could get a different layout that would be great. As it is, your site looks just the same as all the other Festering Ass network sites. Would it be too much to ask for the old layout back? I’m partial to it.
    Well I really hope you get the book deal. I’ll be checking back often to see if you’ve posted anything new, and I mean NEW. Good luck!

  214. Mojo said, on May 27, 2006 at 10:04 pm

    Congrats on the move, Az. keep up the hilarity. I really enjoy your work.
    I live in the Bay Area as well, maybe, sometime when you’re back, I can get your autograph?

  215. Anonymous said, on May 28, 2006 at 8:35 am

    Sweet! You moved!! I was wondering what was taking so long for you to update. =p I admit the ads are annoying but I don’t give a rat’s a$$ ’cause I mean it’s your stories I read and I’m too poor to donate money. So more power to ya! ^.^ (For better readibility, you can keep the green but either lower the intensity of it or darken the text column. Or not. Meh *shrug* )
    The old archive is still up you guys. >>; The most recent one is http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher117.html
    Anyways, congrats on the move!

  216. Anonymous said, on May 28, 2006 at 8:35 am

    Sweet! You moved!! I was wondering what was taking so long for you to update. =p I admit the ads are annoying but I don’t give a rat’s a$$ ’cause I mean it’s your stories I read and I’m too poor to donate money. So more power to ya! ^.^ (For better readibility, you can keep the green but either lower the intensity of it or darken the text column. Or not. Meh *shrug* )
    The old archive is still up you guys. >>; The most recent one is http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher117.html
    Anyways, congrats on the move!

  217. Hatsumiyo said, on May 28, 2006 at 11:49 am

    Congratulations on the new site Az and I’m really looking forward to the new entries. I had noticed you hadn’t updated in a while on Outpost and I was wondering why. I’m glad it was just a site move and not that something bad had happened
    Good luck again

  218. Parkingtigers said, on May 30, 2006 at 7:35 am

    Hi Azrael.
    Don’t worry about the negative comments about the move, everyone fears change. For my part, I found the old site functional at best so even the intrusion of ads aren’t really that much of a price to pay for a new layout.
    I’m glad the posts will finally be edited to perfection. I know you said originally you didn’t care about such a thing, even as an English teacher, but I always believed that you should have. Once you had initial talks about a book deal it might have been an idea to start the process then, at least on the new editorials.
    Okay, enough complaining from me, I’m happy with the move and having a comments section is fantastic, as I have put off writing to you for too long. I signed up for a Typekey account just so I could thank you for sharing such a wonderful experience with the world. It is a two-in-one deal, I get to laugh at the dopey American abroad, and the crazy Japanese at home. Over the months I’ve been reading, I’ve laughed out loud, and been moved by stories such as Moeko’s owl. It has been one of the best travelogues I have ever read, and I promise that if it ever gets published I’ll gladly buy a copy.
    As someone else pointed out, putting the original dates onto the posts would really be nice. Even if you only put them in as the first line of the article itself, but getting an idea as to when it was first written would give the story its proper pacing.
    Cheers!

  219. Tsushima-shi said, on June 1, 2006 at 4:40 am

    Congrats on the move, old boy! Your editorials were recommended to me last year as a kind of “Japan Reality Crash-course”…they didn’t disappoint then and they certainly don’t now. Thanks for the good stories and the honesty, Az, you write with a clarity rarely seen these days. I hope you continue to have fun in the last two months of the JET year, and all the best for the future!

  220. Karma said, on June 1, 2006 at 11:40 am

    …For the love of fortune cookies, stop PMS’ing over the move. AZ had good enough reason for linking up with FAN, and although some of you may not agree with AZ’s actions – that’s no reason to label him a “sell out.” If you’re such die-hard fans, then support AZ rather than criticize him. -=/

  221. Kita said, on June 2, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    Wow! New site. I wish the colors were a little lighter, but it still looks nice. ^_^ Hope you can keep your humor the way it has been over the past few years.

  222. PussyCat said, on June 3, 2006 at 11:35 am

    I clicked on my favorites, and was shocked when I was redirected to a festering ass site. Rubbing shoulders with the likes of Tucker now eh? Congrats on the move. Fuck those that say you sold out. Shit, if you can get paid, why the hell not?? I just want to see some new stuff, thats my only thought on the slightly negative side. Oh well, all in due time…

  223. Vidgmchtr said, on June 4, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    Jesus Christ, people. Do you really have to call a guy a sell out just because he wants to make an honest buck with HIS OWN INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY?
    You idiots probably are not aware that after Az’s third year of JET, he kind of needs a source of income, and he obviously can’t get it anymore from the three schools he worked at for the past three years (because mainly with the JET program, you can only sign on for three years, and it’s difficult to stay on for more than that).
    If this’ll give him money, then be glad for him! So the new layout might not be to your liking, but YOU SHOULD BE DAMN GRATEFUL HE’S EVEN STILL DOING THIS, FOR FREE.

  224. Cherrypink said, on June 8, 2006 at 8:30 am

    Sue those bastards and swindle some money outta’em. Or send a proposal to Japan’s ministry of education and request your bum to be off-limits to japanese students. Lol, just kidding.

  225. amber said, on June 12, 2006 at 7:55 pm

    Hey, came across your site because I read most of the Festering Ass sites and just wanted to say I really enjoy your stuff. Have to say though, your long time readers are really bitchy. Dude, let the man get paid. That is what ads are for. Also, this will probably help him get a book deal, what with tucker, bunny, and coloringbookland already having them. Anyway, just wanted to say, you may have lost some (rather petty) readers, but I’m sure you will gain countless others with this move. Best of luck and I’m definately going to keep reading.

  226. Tenk said, on July 18, 2006 at 4:03 am

    Wow. you know after reading this one three times, it’s still fresh. this has got to be my favorite series on the web, and the only pure text thing I read regularly. like the new site, and the graphics.
    You have put the last nail in my coffin, so to speak, after waffling about signing up for the JET program, I started reading this and found it luring enough. It sounds quite interesting, apart from the dodgedick and kancho parts.
    Keep up the great editorials. Ciao!

  227. Girla said, on September 1, 2006 at 11:14 am

    Hey
    Ticket Yanokee,
    Onlinse Class,
    Floa Metering,
    hoop

  228. Aiden McEwin said, on October 23, 2006 at 2:02 am

    I know it’s probably been said a thouasand times before, but this stuff is really entertaining!

  229. Kita said, on November 10, 2006 at 6:01 pm

    All I can really say is OMFG! That sounds horrible…and the type of thing I’d love to need to deal with daily. (I wish to teach English as well, probably in Japan for 2 years, then I come home to Amerika.) Lol, good luck with that!

  230. Vergil said, on November 11, 2006 at 6:54 pm

    kimi no sumaru dikku
    boku no biggu dikiku!

  231. YJ said, on November 26, 2006 at 1:13 am

    okay, a friend pointed me to your site when he found out I’m trying to get in touch with my japanese roots, and I must say, this is pretty hilarious, and goes to show how a lot of people are clueless to how it really is over there.

  232. Eddie the Head said, on March 13, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    this happens, I turn around, grab the fingers, tie them in a knot, and deliver an uppercut. Little japs’ll think twice before trying to diddle me again.

  233. lol said, on April 7, 2007 at 2:09 am

    No one would question Az after watching this…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8CG1LX44O0

  234. Anonymous said, on May 28, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    How is it 0 exactly for Japan if your ass was raped to a point where you develop Ass Penetration Senses?

  235. Anonymous said, on June 28, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    heh, wooow. that’s very interesting to know since i had tried to get into the JET program just a few months ago. i had wanted to go there and break the stereotypes as well (especially for blacks), and sadly i was rejected. heh….
    nevertheless, interesting story.
    jermel. (mail address deleted – don’t set yourself up for spam)

  236. Anonymous said, on June 28, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    heh, wooow. that’s very interesting to know since i had tried to get into the JET program just a few months ago. i had wanted to go there and break the stereotypes as well (especially for blacks), and sadly i was rejected. heh….
    nevertheless, interesting story.
    jermel. (mail address deleted – don’t set yourself up for spam)

  237. leo the great said, on July 25, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    im a sailor that use to be stationed in japan and this is one of the most funniest things ive ever heared my be easy cuz and keep up the good work

  238. LaMortImmortelle said, on August 6, 2007 at 9:33 am

    Hello,
    I myself am interested in applying to teach english overseas and someone online suggested i read your blog.
    Is this the earliest entry you have? or do they go back further?
    Your accounts are rather humourous and a pleasure to read 🙂 Keep up the good work!

  239. Dave said, on September 2, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    Lol I remember reading this a few years back and showing it to my friends. Nice site btw.


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